Reader Submitted: Mourning the Loss of Two Relayers

“I don't think there's one word that can describe a man's life.”- Citizen Kane

This is probably the hardest post I’ve had to write. I remember when I was in the hospital, Henrietta stayed up almost every night with Sidonie and Cuddly. She always presented this shy demeanor, but beyond that was a woman who was deeply loyal, deeply committed to the causes she believed in.

 Sid, Cuddly, Henrietta and I talk almost daily. Three years ago we created a Facebook chat group that we just chat into, and no matter what we always talked through things. Hospital visits, strokes, dying cats, ferrets, movie quotes only Henrietta understood, and just life in general.

If there was one thing that I could always count on, it was my troupe of four. I recently went through a bit of depression that I could not explain- it happens to all of us. I must’ve chatted into the group at 3am my time and since we all have the group on our phones we all see the alerts. Henrietta woke up and kept me company through a time that was particularly hard for me.

Sometimes it is easy to forget but Second Life is not one dimensional- we are more than just the avatars we create.

Over time all four of our lives,  in world and out of it, became important. Cuddly got a live in boyfriend toy thing, Sidonie had new cats and Henrietta lamented about ferrets. We all know each other so well that if we met in real life, I don’t think we would even notice that we weren’t hiding behind our Second Life skins.

That’s what I love about Henrietta- she is so real, so true to herself that Sid, Cuddly and I had a shoulder to lean on to and rely on. She is always full of movie quotes and tv show quotes that none of us had heard of before but yet she persisted...

Henrietta Demina had many passions. Living life with a smile and laughter was one of them. She was dedicated to her real life family and friends and treated us SL family and friends just as she would in real life. She wrote about her Strange family on her website and was immensely proud of all of our accomplishments. Henrietta had her Demina family too, passionate about role playing as vampires. She was dedicated to the character she made on Second Life, changing only her hair to accommodate Relay season.

For the last five years she was deeply, deeply passionate about Relay for Life. She and her brother Hilshire made RFLSL as real as it could be- they collected monies in real life as much as they could and usually donated it in pieces.

Henrietta was the definition of a true relayer. She attended as many events of other teams as much as possible, slowly draining that chunk of change (which was easily in the thousands dollar wise) at each team event showing her support.

She volunteered to DJ at just about every single event possible. She was passionate about the Fantasy faire, Christmas expo, you name it she was there.

Quiet but steadfast defined Henrietta’s Relay journey- she was happy to let others in the spotlight even if she was more deserving. Most recently she was heavily involved with the Christmas Expo as a host and was happy to spend her entire week only at the Expo.

She became the Team Captain of Team Strange Journeys last year and held the baton with pride. She dedicated part of her sim to the team’s accomplishments and journey.

Above all, she was the Co Coordinator of the Castle Home and Garden contest. She retired a few years ago so she made the CHG her full time job, almost literally. She worked so hard that she worked herself into having a stroke right before the Opening Ceremonies last year. She was respected and loved by all of our contestants and our merchants. It was usually her that people would go to for support, and she was more than happy to give it.

It feels strange- life is a journey and I preach that, always. This week we lost both Henrietta and Hilshire Demina. They were killed in an accident early this week and it just doesn’t make sense.

I can see Henrietta standing in front of me, giggling, saying that sometimes life is funny that way. I can see her saying a quote from a movie she admired 40 years ago, and something about “don’t worry about it”. She would probably kill me if I said anything like “I can’t do the CHG without you”. She would want you all to smile and keep fighting. She would say, “don’t worry about lil ole me!”

Henrietta, you made a profound impact on my life and that will stay with me forever. You have made a difference and we won’t soon forget it.

Henrietta and Hilshire Demina, thank you. You can rest in your coffins now, and bite as many people as you want.

We will hold a memorial service and will send details when we have them.

Rowena Dubrovna

"Operation Bronze," and Other Relay for Life Events

A few days ago, the Relay for Life in Second Life hit a milestone. The total amount collected since it's beginnings in 2004 had reached the one and a half million dollar amount, "At the end of April 2011, we celebrated hitting $1milion," stated Bain Finch in a post, "and in just over 400 days since that amazing feat, you went and raised that bar to $1.5m."


The weekend of June 8-10 saw a number of Relay events. Among them was the RFL Street Fair held at Lollygagger Lane at Menophara on June 9 from 9AM to 7PM. Conducted by the Lollygagger and Hobo groups, the event promised an art gallery, bus tours, a mud wrestling ring, tarot card readings, a kissing booth, and of course the live music events, such as Frets Nirvana. And there was "more free stuff than you can shake your rat-on-a-stick at." The area had a general run-down look with automobile shells and other debris alongside shacks. There were a number of goods set up to sell to raise money.

Dropping by in the middle of the event, there were a number from Europe still up, Firery Broome asking, "I can not believe that you EU peoples are still awake." "Hehehe!" "Just getting started Fire." "We Germans still party."

For those who don't know, "lollygagger" was what one Linden was quoted as calling those residents whom were always complaining about the Lab, and the name was soon adopted by some with rebellious streaks.

The big event that weekend was "Operation Bronze" on Saturday June 9. For twelve hours from Noon to Midnight SL time, Relayers would party at ACS Island. The purpose of the event was to boost the totals of active but underperforming teams to 10,000 Lindens, which ranks as Bronze status in the Relay. The idea had started at the "Halfway There Fair" earlier this season.

For this Bronzing event, 25 smaller teams had their totals raised to Bronze rank. From Zelda Generations to WrongSide Relay, to Asylum, these obscure teams had their moment in the sun, and a new status while DJs like Fuzzball Ortega and Trader1 Whiplash did the music for the dancing Relayers. All teams that had raised at least one Linden were elgible. And by the events end, the last elgible team was at  10,000 total, "2890 now! … 1890 to go! … 790 to go!" "Yes! We did it!" "Last team bronzed." "Oh my God! What an achievement!" "SL Relayers are Amazing!" "You guys rock!"

The event was marked by wisecracks and joking around. One guy spent his time in a feral deer avatar, leading to some jokes about being a hatrack. But there was also more sentimental statements, "I was part of something great, and found I have a family here who I can reply on and will help if I can."

As Bain Finch put it, "It really was beautiful to witness the birth of Bronzing.

To see the team totals, Click Here.

Sunday was another event by Team Harmony of Hope, "Racing Tiny Cars for a Cure" at the Yes sim. The event took place on a track under a roller coaster. The little cars were cute, getting in them showing an animation of the character squeezing in, and then the rear license place showing the driver's first name. "I still have no clue how i got into the thing!" Trader1 Whiplash Exclaimed. People were asked to donate at least 50 Lindens.

Unfortunately, the cars could be difficult to drive, instead of bouncing around obstacles mine would launch in the air and come back down. Eventually, mine was knocked off course and into the lake. Still, everyone had fun.

There were of course other events that weekend. Among them was a race by the Strigoi Motorcycle Club. They found themselves without a sim and appealed for help. Ghostriders World MC heard about their problem, and offered their own sim for the event.

It was a good weekend for the Relay for Life

Bixyl Shuftan

The Relay for Life 2011 Wrap-Up Party

The Relay for Life Walk was a month ago, but the official end of this year’s RFL fundraising season wasn’t until last weekend. Saturday August 20th, 2011, members of various Relay teams got together for the last event of “Seasons of Hope.” It was time for the Wrap-Up Party.

Before the party’s start at 3PM, people began gathering at the Florida Keys sim. Once the hour started, live music was provided by singer Damian Carbenell. And it wasn’t long before the sim was packed. 57 avatars were counted in the sim at one point. With so many around, people were gathering away from the stage where Damian was performing. A variety of avatars from numerous teams of all sizes from large to small gathered around. at 4PM, the T-1 Radio DJ took over

Durring the party, a few few things happened things happened. One was the RFL kiosks scattered across the grid which had been taking in donations began to self-destruct. The fundraising for the season was over, and their purpose was done. Ember Farina was reluctant to let go, “I still have a few” *is holding on tight* Fuzzball Ortega joked, “no, let go Ember, or you’ll go poof too.” Some commented that at least one Relayer wouldn’t know and think they were deliberately removed, PrettyKitty Gumbo saying, “I wonder if someone will ask what happened to their vendor?” Dwen Dooley responded, “I personally guarantee that an angry email will find it's way to me, because ‘they weren't warned.’ " Fuzzball Ortega, quiped, “Didn't even get a poof of purchase (yea, I know, bad pun).” Later, Fuzzball commented, “Ok, I need a drink now. Yes, Bixyl you may quote me.”

Another thing that happened was that the much-anticipated theme of next year’s relay was made public. The 2012 Relay for Life will have the theme of “Time for a Cure.” The announcement was greeted with much applause.

And, there were the awards given out begining at 4:30. Many of these were basicaly given out for fun, such as Fuzzball Ortega being awarded the “Big Hair” award for the enormous hairdo he sported at times. Others were more serious, such as the “Spirit of Relay” Individual Award, announced by last year’s winner Ember Farina.

“For the last six years this year’s recipient has been Relaying in SL. Regardless of Team affliation, anyone who has needed assistance with Kiosks, Vendors, or building has found a helping hand. This year, just as Relay was kicking into high gear, he suffered a debilitating stroke. His motivation for a fast recovery was actually Relay for Life! He worried so much about his team that he came back inworld before he could even read or type; they all used voice to communicate with him to ensure that the team would keep moving forward. He’s determined, and despite all odds, always involved in anything that has to do with Relay, from planning to end, always there to help others regardless of other affiliations.

“I’m pleased to announce the 2011 individual Spirit of Relay – Daaneth Kivioq.”

Daaneth, whom was there with several others from his “Passionate Redheads” team, was clearly surprised by the announcement, which was greeted with cheers from many. He thanked everyone, and was a bit quiet for the rest of the time he was at the Wrap-Up event. But later on, he and the Redheads would soon do a little celebrating of their own.



Spirit of relay award - I am stunned. I want to thank EVERYONE who nominated me. I have now words to express my gratitude. Except .. > PARTY! NOW! HOPE GARDENS! NYDIA IS THE DJ!! FIREWORKS! And one OTHER very important number: L$ 726,001 -$ 2,904 - how much money you raised this relay season. Please come party with me!


And a number did. Not just the Redheads, but Fuzzball Ortega dropped by as well, showing off “The Hair” that had gotten so much attention this year. DJ Nydia Tungsten cranked up the tunes, and Daaneth set off some fireworks, lighting up the night sky over Southern Colorado.

It was a great end to a great season.

Thank you to everyone who attended the Wrap Up Party, I hope you all had fun. Thank you to Trader and Nuala and T1 Radio, Damian Carbenell, the awards committee, Sting, Mama and Dwen. Also, thank you to Bo Hera for allowing us to use his sim and Samara Barzane for facilitating that! Finally, thank you to my build team Bianca Bender and Elise Capalini for creating such a magical space! *hugs* See you in 2012! Bailey Dazy, Special Events Chair 2011


To hear the audio of the event, one can go to an archived recording Here.

For more pictures, Ishtars Kiss has some on her Flickr page. And for a list of the award winners, check the post on the Relay for Life in Second Life Blog.

Bixyl Shuftan

Trek Sim Holds RFL “Jail and Bail”

While the Passionate Redheads were doing their “Bid Me Human,” a Trek group was doing their own Relay for Life fundraiser, a “Jail and Bail” by the UFS in the Starfleet Sector 002 sim.


Commander Kermie Mistwallow is in the brig for the 2nd of 3 days on charges of aiding and abetting a known fundraising effort! As part of his punishment for his crime, he may have to shave his head - but only you will be able to decide that through your donations!

This jail and bail ends tomorrow, Sunday, May 22. At the end of that time, Commander Mistwallow will be freed and the punishment extracted upon his hair that you have determined! He's already going to go bald for a week. Will it be longer?


Deciding to take a look, I beamed over, and the two cells I saw were empty, with what looked like a cardboard cutout and a mannequin in their places. Also, the walls were missing, so I thought my computer was being slow and taking forever to rezz. One of the crewwomen, Zania Turner, was there. When I pointed out what I couldn’t see, she clicked on something, and the wall plus a number of details appeared, “We use a lot of rezzers to save on prims.”

I talked to Zania a little about the event, “Our jailbirds have left holograms up, as they are currently sleeping ... If we can get L$100,000 in donations, these guys will go bald, along with most of our Engineers.” As of late Saturday afternoon, they had raised 37,000 Lindens, “He'll be freed after 3 days, and the punishment will be extracted on his hair dependent on what people donated. And the CO of an outpost, and most Engineers, will also follow suit and honor that same hair punishment.”

Of how the idea came about, “I've heard of other jail and bail events that were pretty successful. We were trying to consider what we could do for our fundraisers for this year. When I saw something on TV for the St. Baldrick's Society, I figured that was the perfect ‘ marriage ‘ for an event. St. Baldrick's is a group where the members shave their heads and go bald to stand in solidarity with kids that have cancer. My brother had cancer as a kid, so this was something that kind of hit home in a sense.”

Zania expressed doubts that they could do another fundraiser like this anytime soon, “This is really the last fundraiser we can have as the group that we're in is in dire financial trouble. If we don't raise money for our group, we're going to lose a region. That's why we need to make this one for Relay For Life big. ... We just aren't getting the condo rentals that we need to support us having both regions. We may lose one, if not both, if we don't increase our donations or condo rentals very soon.”

Zania told me a little about the UFS, “We started out as one region, and actually were part of another group until differences in leadership resulted in a split. Since that time, we have forged our own future within the Star Trek universe and acquired a second region. Our RP is based around the Delta Quadrant, where we have picked up the adventures following the return of Voyager to the Alpha Quadrant. As an organization, we are similar to SFI or The Federation (IFT) in that we provide memberships to those who are interested - for free - and they can experience Star Trek in any way they choose. We provide ships and stations for people to be stationed at, and even have a fully functioning Academy that provides almost 200 classes for cadets and members to take.”

At one point, we were joined by another of the group, Simmyish Resident. Zania explained, “Simmy here is in the process of changing, but he's one of our members. He's assigned as the Chief Security Officer for the Pathfinder Research Facility, which is where we're standing (in the Security deck).” They told of some of the fun they had with the jailbirds, “teasing in general, like putting tribbles in Kermie's cell (grins).” Simmyish mentioned, “I've kind of not being able to access the locks for them.” He also mentioned that crew members were showing Kermie samples of his favorite beverage and joyfully drinking it in front of him.

To get to the cells, beam over to Starfleet Sector 002 at (189, 102, 71). For those coming across this article a little late, the sim is a good place to visit for Star Trek fans.

Bixyl Shuftan

Last Call for Fun at the 2010 RFL Track

Just before the sims for the 2009 Relay for Life Walk were taken down, the teams held a “teardown party.” I never found out if it was planned, or came about spontaneously, but it was quite a sight, with everyone whooping it up, builders, team captains and officers, and bystanders such as a certain reporter.

I expected something similar this year. But it didn’t quite happen like last year. After the Walk was over, many of the officers in the Passionate Redheads group either dropped out of sight or were on little. As it turned out, the Redheads had to deal with a number of problems this year, many of the people getting sick, having to help family, or otherwise had to deal with real-life problems. Combined with the “Great Recession” as the current economy is sometimes labeled as having, the Redheads endured what one called “a perfect storm” of trouble that could easily stall a fundraiser in its tracks. And still, the team managed to raise thousands in US dollars.

Maybe the other big teams were having similar trouble. I didn’t hear of one big last party, though did notice a number of small gatherings on the map on Tuesday July 20th, the last day before the builds were to be torn down. Deciding to drop in on one, I found a gathering of people at a beach scene, with plastic pails and kiddie shovels, sand mounds one could bury themselves in to their necks, with a huge sand castle in the middle. It turned out that the DJ here was also broadcasting into the radio stream over the RFL track area. Redhead builder Shockwave Yarearch also dropped by, joining in the dancing for a while.

As the party went on, the DJ gave an announcement. One of the track sim managers had raised the water level by ten meters, flooding the place. A little later, he described people going over to party over there, and more and more of the people at the beach party headed over. I was among them, teleporting over to the sim, and indeed it was all wet, trees with water up to their leaves and buildings with water halfway up the walls. Unlike a real-life flood, no damage done here, though.

Someone began passing around ducky inner tubes. They really couldn’t keep you afloat without a swimmer AO, but fortunately I remembered I had one. More began appearing, a few others probably using some kind of AO to help them float. Others deployed umbrellas and floated around like Mary Poppins. Then a boat showed up, captained by someone looking like a pirate, and someone else in a tiny duck avatar on board. It was certainly weather for ducks at one point when rain began coming down. Rain is pretty rare in Second Life, and for some it was the first they had seen it.

People were having a great time, laughing and joking, and then came the fish puns, “Oh my cod!” “I did it for the halibut.” “I’m calling the carps.” People even talked about doing a water sim next Relay, selling mermaid/merman avatars and swimmer AOs for charity.

More recently, I did hear of a party the Redheads will be having to celebrate their success at the Relay, on Saturday August 14th at 10 AM. Enough time for those most involved to take a well-deserved rest.

But it’s that spur of the moment party at the flooded sim that to me represents the final bash of the 2010 Relay for Life track.

Bixyl Shuftan