Survivors of Suicide Closes, Impact Mental Health Opens

 By Bixyl Shuftan

On Saturday October 23, the Survivors of Suicide, probably the best known depression support group in Second Life, had it's last meeting. It was a week before in which it's leader and owner of it's sim, Sebastien Bouevier, announced that the group would soon be closing. Sebastien cited a need to focus more on real-life and no one else stepping forward whom could run the group for long.

The meeting started at 3 SL time. The various people there thanked the others for helping them through difficult times, some telling detailed stories. There were also a few lines in group chat. Among them, "... we are just starting a new chapter, not closing the book."

Sebastien himself would only speak near the end:

"Hearing all your stories tonight has been very touching, and has really hit home just how much of a difference SOS has made to so many lives over the past 13 years. I hope you will continue to be there for each other and keep the spirit of SOS going for years to come. It has been the privilege of a lifetime to be a part of this. I love you all."

The meeting ended at 4PM, and people began to slowly leave, some TPing out, others getting one last look at the island. Shortly after came the dreading DING! and screen shaking signaling a sim restart countdown. But logging back on, I was in a different sim, and was unable to teleport back to the Survivors of Suicide sim. It was closed. I was also no longer able to check the group for any chat messages. 

While the Survivors of Suicide group may be gone, another was started to take it's place: Impact Mental Health by Kitten Stratten-Jaks (Kitten Meridoc). 

We know this is a sad time for many of you, but we'd like to extend a heartfelt welcome to all of our new members.

This week, the focus is on SOS and saying goodbye and so Impact may be quieter than we expect it to become. We're also working on populating the group, so please have a little patience.

In the mean time, keep an eye out for notices about our opening day! We're really excited to show you what we're putting together for you guys.

Welcome to Impact our new warriors.

The group soon had a location, on Urban Dream, and an opening event was planned for Sunday October 24.

Join us for the Grand Opening of Impact Mental Health; a Peer Support group right here in Second Life. Offering Information, Mentoring, Group Chat and Support Meetings throughout the week. Come visit our brand new location. The Impact Community are here and we're listening.

The event, hosted by Sherridon Mercury,  was scheduled to start at Noon SL time. But people were arriving early. Dropping by, I was complemented about my appearance. She confirmed about the group being created in response to the closing of the SoS, "we wanted to give the people some support and some familiarity after that news." 

We were next to the main building. Besides Kitten and Sherridon, there were six mentors as group staff. Sherridon was greeting people, "Hello and welcome to all those just joining us, we will be kicking off our celebrations with a liver performance from Ugly Bill at the top of the hour! In the meantime, feel free to get acquainted with our new land and new organization!."

Eventually, Noon approached, and people were invited to head to the dance area in a nearby part of the sim. "Ugly Bill" soon got on stage and started performing while the audience danced away.  "We're so thrilled to have you here at the grand opening of Impact Mental Health!" people were told as they arrived.

Besides that many were at the party, the Impact group chat also saw a lot of chatter that day. Some would talk about their real-life issues. Others would say they were happy and relieved there was still a mental health support group for them.

There are also other mental health support groups around in Second Life. And someone messaged me in IM that she was starting still another. So for those who know where to look, mental health support groups are still around.

It's been spoken before that the only thing that's constant is that there is change. And in a virtual world, even more so. A valued mental health support group has closed after thirteen years. But in it's place, a new one has arisen, one that has had a good start.

Bixyl Shuftan
 

Sebastien Bouevier and Survivors of Suicide

By Deaflegacy

"Survivors of Suicide" is the largest group in Second Life for people dealing with depression or people who know someone who is. It is headed by Sebastien Bouevier. Recently, he and I met at their new location that was opened a week ago.  I asked him if we could stop by the beach.  We did. The beach area was well done, resembling one in real life. “That's what I was trying to achieve,” said Sebastien, “I wanted somewhere tranquil and serene for people to come and relax.”

We went to a lookout and sat down. I asked Sebastien if his group was particularly important this time of year.  “Yes," he replied, "the holidays is typically the busiest time of year for us at SOS, as a lot of people don't have much in terms of family and friends in real-life, as well as it being a stressful time of year for literally everyone.”

According to Sebastien, he didn't join SOS until just over six years ago. It had already been running for almost four years by then.  Krissy Sinclair, the original founder, started it after being a member of a similar group in real life, and realizing that there was a need for it here on Second Life.

I asked Sebastien how many members are there in the SOS. He said, “As of today we have close to 900 members.” said Sebastien, “Yes, we got over 100 new members during the Christmas Fair.” Their Christmas Fair was a month-long event to celebrate their tenth anniversary as well as gain awareness and raise money for the group.

My next question was, “Would you agree that SOS is attracting more and more members in the time of need because they are there to help people in need?”  Sebastien's response was, “Yes, I do agree with that. Survivors of Suicide is here for everyone and we are open 24/7. We have a team of mentors who are able to talk with people one on one, and when there aren't any mentors available, our group chat is active and very friendly. It is a sort of community of people all helping and supporting each other.”

The next question is if the SOS would continue on much longer. “Oh yes," said Sebastien, "we are the longest running group of this kind in Second Life. We have seen many other groups come and go, but none have stood the test of time. Judging by the immense support from the SL community at large during our event, we will continue to stay open, and continue to grow.”

I asked if anyone can come in the chat at any time to seek help. “Yes," replied Sebastien, "anyone is welcome to join the group chat at any time to ask for help. A group invite will be sent to everyone who lands at the SOS parcel.”

My next question for Sebastien was when the best time to ask for help would be. “Hmmm, it really depends," said Sebastien, "we have members and mentors from the US west coast, and even Hawaii, to Australia and New Zealand.”  “Lets put it this way, I've never been online and not have had at least a dozen of members online at the same time.”

The next question was, “Is there such a thing as exchanging emails with other members or/and mentors so they can continue to receive the help they need when they are not on Second Life?”  Sebastien's response was, “No, but that segues nicely into something I wanted to share with you and your readers," said Sebastien, "We have started embracing social media. We are now on FaceBook, Flickr, and we have our own Discord server. Are you familiar with Discord? ...  It is called Survivors of Suicide. We have a discord button in the entrance hall of the main SOS building long with a button for our website, FaceBook page, and Flickr.”

“I'm excited that we are now able to reach out to our members even when they aren't in Second Life,” Sebastien said, “It was really nice to see all the people that came to visit us during the event, we have over 3000 people come through, and I spoke with over one hundred of them, and everyone had stories of either themselves or people they knew who has gone through very difficult times.  We are going strong into the future, with a new club house, more meetings and activities than before, and that we are here to stay.”

As the interview came to a close, Sebastien said, “My main goal for 2019 is to grow the membership of SOS, I realized just how many people who needs us, or could benefit from us, but don't know we exist. So that is the main objective, and any publicity we can get is fantastic!”

The interview came to a close and I have a good feeling about the future of Survivors of Suicide.  As Sebastien said, they are here to stay. As a member of SOS, I look forward to many days with the group.  SOS is an excellent group, and they are helping people out in need.

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Legenda/47/56/24

Deaflegacy

Depression Support Group in Second Life

Every Sunday at Noon SL time, a depression support group meets inworld to help visitors with any problems. Titled “Survivors of Suicide,” the group in fact takes care of a variety of mental health issues depending on the needs of those at the group.

Dropping over one Sunday, the group's building had a few games around, in addition to a campire area where all were gathered. Fidelius "Fid" Dollinger was the group member leading the chat that day. There were a few others there, at least one other whom had also just found the group. Fidelius had this to say about the meeting, "a short explain of this group here, we are here for talking out what bothers us or also to share nice moments. All what you want to talk (about), you may. You aren´t forced to say something. The important (thing) is that nobody needs to have the feeling ' I am alone.' That is why we are here."

Of the subject of depression, "We are a handful of staff here, and we try always our best to help. And we, the staff, know also very well what is going on by depressive moods, because we are dealing with it too, or have dealt with it a long time." Fidelius admitted that he had a history of depression since he was a teenager, "but I have started a journey for myself and it still continues, and I work all out my feelings and fears … since then I feel much better."

Others there had comments and questions, "What happens when you aren't strong enough? When you are sick of fighting every day?" "This is why there are places like this, so you can meet people that can help you along." "I have to fight evey day in real life, a fight where I never will win. BUT, shall I let this stop me from letting me feel good? No." "Some days you just want to curl up in a little ball and never wake up. Somedays you say 'why am I even here,' yet somehow I still am here, but I grow weary of the fight ..."

People discussed how to best deal with problems, "Very important to let the past in the past …" "That's easy to say, but not so easy to do." "Well, SL can be helpful to find a way out of the blues." "Learn lessons and try not to repeat the same mistakes." "I'm sick of people telling me to simply forgive and let go when you don't know what's in my head …" "I know to find the right moment … isn't often. … you have to catch the right time." "I'm guessing when people say 'just get over it,' it makes you feel as if there almost dismissing how you feel?"

Fidelius offered suggestions time to time, including a reference to a kids' cartoon from years ago, "Do you know of 'Puff the Magic Dragon?' He is my absolute favorite, and I think we all have a 'Puff' inside us. … He is a dragon, a cation from I think the '70s. He was shown a small boy, Jacky Paper, who hadn't a self-assurance, that he was thinking he too hadn't self-assurance deep inside him. … He showed the boy that he had a self-assurance deep inside."

Later I met Krissy Sinclair, the founder of the group. She called Fidelius, "my angle for running the support groups." She was happy to see me, "I get so excited when new people find us." Besides the support meetings, "We also post daily healthy living articles to the group, and host a candlelight memorial in a skybox above us."

Krissy explained in real life, she has a Masters Degree in social work, "that is what made me start this project in Second Life. … Three years ago, we have been around a long time by SL terms." I asked her if there was a particular event that sparked its founding. She answered, "I am an artist in real life, and I brought my art into SL. Then I sis an exhibit called 'Life/Death.' I found people were drawn to the Life portion of the exhibit and they liked to hang out there. People told me their story and many had depression. I also used to run a depression support group in real life. So those combined made me think of doing it here."

"At first, my friends said 'don't do it.' I did it anyway, and we are now almost 300 members strong. … I was thinking if I got 25 members, that would be good (laughter). … It is very rewarding, and the grow helps me as much as I help them. The group members all learn to help each other. We use the chat feature as 24/7 support as well."

"We do not charge any fees. We also don't do counseling as I feel that needs to be done in real life. We offer support. … I often get thank you notes from people who say this group has helped them."

The group is more than happy to accept help. Recently, Nydia Tungsten offered the SoS group a backup meeting place on her land. The group's regular meeting location is at the San Jose East sim at (98, 140, 23)

Before parting ways, I took a look at Fidelius' profile. Among the information were a few words of wisdom.

"Learn from the past, live in the present, and have trust in the future."

Bixyl Shuftan

*note* the red areas in the pictures are from my viewer, which was getting buggy at the time.