Recently, the Newser was contacted by her once more, asking for a followup on what's been happening to her. The most obvious change was she had started anew with a new account: MelainaGodness, known as Melly Callidora. She requested to do her part of the interview in voice as typing a lot had gotten uncomfortable: her physical health had taken a turn for the worse in the past few years. At 51 years old, she had carpal tunnel, two herniated disks, metal screws in her neck that made it hard to turn her head, migraines, diabetes, asthma, high blood pressure, and worst of all: Cancer. She explained it was uterine/cervical cancer, occurring where the two body parts meet, and also had lymphoma. She described herself as being in constant pain, and needed a cane to get around, or a wheelchair if it was for a long distance.
In Second Life, things were better. She had met up with a Benji Darkfury, and eventually the two were married inworld. Sadly, Benji would fall ill and pass away. Melly told me she had been building lighthouses wherever she lived in the virtual world since, so his spirit could "find his way home." She talked more about him, saying they met up in real life, him being from Connecticut and "I'm from New York." She told me one of his real-life family had gone inworld, and together they were able to help him have virtually what he couldn't in reality. "I took it very hard when he died," she told me, "I stopped playing Second Life for a time." It took her some time to return, but eventually she did. She had been transferred ownership of Benji's avatar.
"I have a forever son." Melly told me, "People say he's my favorite, but I have a lot of children." One, Oakan Callidora Corvinus (oakan.corvinus) or "Oakie" went to see her in real life, "It was the best experience I ever had." She also mentioned having an SL daughter, "I have a twin brother ... I have an older brother, Ren. But Niyethan is the twin. ... I have another brother, Joey." She also mentioned, "I have a real-life friend, Paul, who plays Second Life." She would later say he lived about 45 minutes away. I have a lot of brother's and sisters.
Melly called herself the leading lady of a Bloodlines clan, Clan Darkness Family , "I am the Matriarch, the Queen of the clan." Oakan was the head of it. She described her family's land as having a number of animals, notably horses. She showed me the castle, where family dinners were held sometimes. She showed me Darkfurry Hall, where there was a plaque in honor of Benji, "Benji is honored in every way we can." She would show me her manor. When not held at the castle, dinners were held here every Saturday night, either inside in the dining room or outside in the patio area.
She would show me the Callidora Ranch, where she raised horses. These were Amaretto horses, the oldest brand of breedable horses in Second Life. She would breed them, and sell some of the colts to raise some money, "just had two born." She would put those to be sold in a barrel, then taken to her daughter-in-law's store. She also raised something called Chimeras, and breedable cats known as Kitticats. She would also show me a group of breedable fairies. Melly would show me the family logo, an image of a vampire woman smelling (or perhaps about to taste) a rose.
She told me her real life had become a struggle, but her SL family had made all the difference. She had created the Callidora family in 2016, and she talked about how "amazing" it was that her inworld family has "been there for me." Due to her worsening health, she had to give up her real-life job of 20 years, being a teacher of handicaped students. Her inworld family provided plenty of support, "I don't like to have them take care of me. ... I had to learn to step aside and let Oakie take over." She stated she had a lot of SL children, "but I don't put up with drama."
Of her health, doctors were finding themselves with less and less options for what could be done long-term, "There is nothing more they can do for me." She had been told she has about a year left, maybe a little more, "Some days I don't get out of bed," saying there were times she was just in too much pain, "But I always try to do Saturday, and holidays." Her eyesight has become not that good. She had used to DJ in the past, but had to give it up. With her carpal tunnel getting worse, it was just becoming too difficult. She also told me she was starting to have memory troubles, in part due to her medications, and had to rely on her Alexa at times to remember things. She takes a total of 21 pills a day, plus uses an inhaler.
Despite the short time the doctors gave her, she wasn't truly going by what they were saying. All things considered, she felt, "I've been doing pretty good. ... If it's my time to go, it's my time to go." She mentioned she had a high white-cell blood count for years. She would go on to say her father had been a Vietnam veteran, who during his tour was exposed to Agent Orange, both by inhaling it and cutting his hands on barbed wire covered by it. She felt she was likely exposed to it was well through him, affecting her period and affecting her chances of having kids. She had been married three times in real life. She had one other family member who was having health problems, a niece who came down with polio, and stated she was just now was showing signs of cerebral palsy. Of her immediate family, a sister and four brothers, one of her brothers has passed on.
She once again described her SL family as being very supportive, more than her real-life one. She described a moment at one of her real-life brothers being surprised at how much medication she had to take, "Who does this?"
Melly had a Flickr account, and I asked about it. She told me most of the pictures had been taken by Joey (Chronisz). While there where other photographers in the family, she tries to promote Joey as much as she can.
Near the end of the interview, Paul would appear, in a furry anthro fox avatar. We chatted for a while. At one point, he amusingly spoke of Melly, "She used to have an infatuation with black olives." "Shut up Paul!" she responded, then chuckled.
Above everything else, despite her real-life difficulties, Melly was grateful for the support her SL family had given her, and was allowing her to live a life with happy moments, "I live my live and enjoy it the best I can."
Addition: Melly would later tell me I missed one detail, "My alt Riley Darkfury is Benji's wife."
On Saturday October 23, the Survivors of Suicide, probably the best
known depression support group in Second Life, had it's last meeting. It
was a week before in which it's leader and owner of it's sim, Sebastien
Bouevier, announced that the group would soon be closing. Sebastien cited a need to focus more on real-life and no one else stepping forward whom could run the group for long.
The
meeting started at 3 SL time. The various people there thanked the
others for helping them through difficult times, some telling detailed
stories. There were also a few lines in group chat. Among them, "... we
are just starting a new chapter, not closing the book."
Sebastien himself would only speak near the end:
"Hearing
all your stories tonight has been very touching, and has really hit
home just how much of a difference SOS has made to so many lives over
the past 13 years. I hope you will continue to be there for each other
and keep the spirit of SOS going for years to come. It has been the
privilege of a lifetime to be a part of this. I love you all."
The
meeting ended at 4PM, and people began to slowly leave, some TPing out,
others getting one last look at the island. Shortly after came the
dreading DING! and screen shaking signaling a sim restart countdown. But
logging back on, I was in a different sim, and was unable to teleport
back to the Survivors of Suicide sim. It was closed. I was also no
longer able to check the group for any chat messages.
While
the Survivors of Suicide group may be gone, another was started to take it's place: Impact
Mental Health by Kitten Stratten-Jaks (Kitten Meridoc).
We know this is a sad time for many of you, but we'd like to extend a heartfelt welcome to all of our new members.
This week, the focus is on SOS and saying goodbye and so Impact may be quieter than we expect it to become. We're also working on populating the group, so please have a little patience.
In the mean time, keep an eye out for notices about our opening day! We're really excited to show you what we're putting together for you guys.
Welcome to Impact our new warriors.
The group soon had a location, on Urban Dream, and an opening event was planned for Sunday October 24.
Join us for the Grand Opening of Impact Mental Health; a Peer Support group right here in Second Life. Offering Information, Mentoring, Group Chat and Support Meetings throughout the week. Come visit our brand new location. The Impact Community are here and we're listening.
The event, hosted by Sherridon Mercury, was scheduled to start at Noon SL time. But people were arriving early. Dropping by, I was complemented about my appearance. She confirmed about the group being created in response to the closing of the SoS, "we wanted to give the people some support and some familiarity after that news."
We were next to the main building. Besides Kitten and Sherridon, there were six mentors as group staff. Sherridon was greeting people, "Hello and welcome to all those just joining us, we will be kicking off our celebrations with a liver performance from Ugly Bill at the top of the hour! In the meantime, feel free to get acquainted with our new land and new organization!."
Eventually, Noon approached, and people were invited to head to the dance area in a nearby part of the sim. "Ugly Bill" soon got on stage and started performing while the audience danced away. "We're so thrilled to have you here at the grand opening of Impact Mental Health!" people were told as they arrived.
Besides that many were at the party, the Impact group chat also saw a lot of chatter that day. Some would talk about their real-life issues. Others would say they were happy and relieved there was still a mental health support group for them.
There are also
other mental health support groups around in Second Life. And someone
messaged me in IM that she was starting still another. So for those who
know where to look, mental health support groups are still around.
It's been spoken before that the only thing that's constant is that there is change. And in a virtual world, even more so. A valued mental health support group has closed after thirteen years. But in it's place, a new one has arisen, one that has had a good start.
Fearless Nation is a group and sim in Second Life with the purpose of helping people with Post-Tramautic Stress Disorder, or PTSD. Their description is, "Fearless Nation PTSD Support is an RL 501c3 Nonprofit Organization for people with PTSD, their families, partners, children and communities: We provide education, support and advocacy. Since 2009 we've had a virtual, online community that spans distance, with a small carbon footprint bringing people together in a common goal: Trauma Recovery."
I recently had a talk with Anya Ibor the director of the group, at the main building at the sim. "This is Main Library," she told me, "where there is lots of education/info about PTSD and an art gallery upstairs." After I asked how the group got started, she told me, "We started in 2009, on parcels I pulled together. There are many misconceptions, and lots of stigma about PTSD. We had a Library there, a small house, and meetings. I started to play around with virtual environments for people with PTSD, like a couple of nice meeting places, a Remembrance Place for loss and grieving, companion animals, Yoga Nidra (a mind/sleeping yoga), information on nutrition and bodycare for PTSD, creative arts and art therapy. The idea is: Engage with your avatar, and then take it to RL for PTSD symptoms."
I asked about the misconceptions. Anya answered, "Misconceptions about PTSD include: Thinking that we are 'ticking time bombs,' that we pose a threat to others, that we are weak and unreliable, that we are psychotic. Not true, unless there is a co-morbid psycholigical condition that includes psychosis or voilence. That is rare. Also, veterans and military make up only a minority of PTSD sufferers, most of use are victims of crime, and all abuse (psychological, physical, sexual). Our group includes military in real life, but mostly police personnel, trauma therapists, EMTs, survivors of abuse--and we have people engaged here who are trauma therapists and friends and family who have what is known as 'secondary' or vicarious PTSD."
And when did Anya think the public was starting to take PTSD seriously? "In the late 70s/early 80s," she told me, "through the work of Dr. Bessel van der Kolk and Judith Herman, working with Viet Nam vets and crime victims -- I can send you more detailed information about the pioneers of PTSD. Now it is more widely accepted however, there is still a great deal of misinformation out there. After 9/11 and all the wars of the last 20 years PTSD has gained much more ground in research and simply 'being believed.' The psychiatric/psychological community has made great strides in PTSD understanding. For example, the DSM-5 (2013) separated PTSD from anxiety disorders and put it in its own trauma-centered category. Because there are different types of PTSD, C-PTSD, Combat PTSD, etc. and PTSD is the only condition caused by external forces. For example, some ppl with PTSD have a 'before trauma' and after trauma" view, and some never knew anything but trauma from childhood. But the symptoms remain the same across the spectrum of PTSD.
"So far we have gotten strongly positive feedback. So because I have been getting my Ph.D. in psychology, I focused in doing my Dissertation research on the lived experiences of ppl with PTSD who engae in SL (virtual worlds). The formal name of the study, conducted under Walden University's Institutional Review Board is named: 'The Experiences of PTSD Sufferers Who Participate in Internet-Based Virtual World Activities in Desktop Virtual Reality Environments (DVREs).' ”
I brought up the study, mentioning she was looking for volunteers. Anya answered, "Yes. I need 5 more people with PTSD who are active in SL/virtual worlds to answer a ten item questionnaire about how their lived experiences in SL might affect, or not, ther PTSD. The study is completely confidential and private per APA Ethics Code and Walden University standards. All identifying information will be coded and hidden. So no one has to worry that their real-life identification will be revealed."
And where did the idea for the study come from? The idea came from, well, me," she answered, "I have PTSD and back in 2009 when through work for IEEE Standards Association in RL I was introduced to SL/Virtual Worlds. I started noticing all the potential to work out PTSD issues in-world, and take that knowledge and lived experience into RL. Then I met other residents who were doing the same thing with their trauma, and we just banded together and, well, started growing.
"I have 15 responses now. I need at least 20 participants. Sounds small, but this is Qualitative (QUAL) research project, where the participants provide rich, robust information about their experience inworld in light of their PTSD. I will collect all the Questionnaire answers - which are meant to be easy, engaging, creative, fun - and 'code' the responses to detect patterns of meaning.
"The responses HAVE been rich and robust as well! There have been responses that have surprised me, but they will be included certainly as areas for further future research. For example, sometimes in-world, personal relationships can be as heartbreaking or upsetting as any real-life relationship. That begs a question as to whether SL might be a triggering or exacerbating influence on a person's PTSD."
When I asked how many were in the group, Anya answered, "There are currently about 275 members across two groups (because in the beginning, 2009, I didn't know what I was doing, ha-ha). We have had some terrific events, from 2009-2013 we would have 24-hour events with music (live performers and DJs), lots of art installations, and of course, information. Let me get the YouTube channel link because we had these events filmed in-world. Great videos.
"We've had outstanding support from the music and arts community in SL. Really amazing support. And Linden Labs has been understanding and supportive too, of course. (laughter) Not as financial as I'd like, but understanding and tolerance of us doing something different with the technology in here."
I asked about how much can art heal someone. She answered, "As for the power of art to heal: It can help immensely! Using creativity to express the confusion and anguish of trauma (survivor guilt, anxiety, etc) can sooth the wounded soul. In fact when trauma occurs, memories become divided into verbal and _non-verbal_ memories because the brain hunkers down into 'fight or flight' mode. Using art in-world, such as building, making art, muisc - even how one designs their avatar - are ways to express trauma, verbal and nonverbal. It helps one process the traumatic event, and work on living easy with the trauma memories."
"I am hoping that this research study might show that the engaging and creative activities in-world may prove a legitimate approach to easing PTSD symptoms. But we will wait and see what the data tells us. It is very interesting and exciting to be able to conduct this study. On these sims, I have used research in environmental design, color theory, art to create moods, curiosity,etc. Even the windlight settings are to calm and encourage relaxation and calm. This approach to the sims design has been a work in progress for over 10 years now.
"Unlike other VR sites that use VR for 'exposure therapy' we absolutely do not re-create war zones or trauma events. Exposure therapy was developed for phobias--PTSD is not a phobia. Far from it."
And what were Anya's future plans? "Well, I would love to work for Linden Labs or another VR company," she answered, "and I want to continue to explore the use of VR for trauma reconciliation. I will certainly continue working to help all people with PTSD learn to live in peace with their trauma. ... for anyone who would like to participate, or simply view the questions for the study and think it over, contact me via my Walden University email: colleen.crary@waldenu.edu.
Most people depend on their eyesight so much, life without it can't be imagined. Indeed for most of human history, those who lost their vision were dependent on others. Today, modern technology allows the blind to live independently, and many surprise the rest of us with how well they can adapt and live surprisingly normal lives. This includes using computers and going about Second Life. A few years ago, the Newser interviewed DJ Keao, whom in real life was completely blind but still able to get about the virtual world. As surprising as her situation sounds, it is not unique.
Longtime readers may be familiar with Mermaid Celene (CeleneHighwater Resident), whom was with the Newser team a few years ago. Among the things she wrote about was the Radegast third-party viewer which turned out to be an invaluable tool for the visually impaired. Since then, she has founded a group for them in the virtual world, the Blind Users Support Group.
Welcome to Blind Users Support. This group is for sighted and blind SL users alike who want to work on in world accessibility projects. This group also provides technical support to those using the Radegast viewer or other low vision or blind friendly viewers.
Recently, I met up with her and interviewed Mermaid. Our interview started off on an amusing note as she arrived at the Newser with a fishing pole in her hand, though quickly removed it, musing, "I just took off my fishing pole. I have been told it is a hazard when not in use. I am sure I have hooked at least one person with it."
Asking about how she first found out about Second Life, Mermaid answered, "I have always been a creative person and I always had a desire to play games that involved life simulation, town building, management, things of that nature. The problem is that none of that is accessible. So one evening I had just discovered another inaccessible game and started to cry. My real-life husband asked if he could check in to something and he came in-world. He found his way to Virtual Ability and he was informed that there was a new text-based viewer called Radegast. I tried it and studied it for two years before starting to train others.
"Back then there was no user guide, so it was purely trial and error. Virtual Ability was instrumental and getting me on my feet in Second Life. I wanted to help other blind users discover SL because it is so different than anything else available to us. And it is so much more accessible than people think. With a little time and effort it is doable."
I then asked when the group came about. "It is about a year old," she answered, "Virtual Ability suggested that we start a group for blind users and it grew in to a group not just for them, but for people who wanted to work on in-world accessibility projects. I have been shocked by the outpouring of support from the Second Life business community. We have over a hundred members and growing." There was no group for blind users beforehand, "We were all just in Virtual Ability. Now we are a secondary group to them. But Virtual Ability is still home, for those of us who have disabilities anyway."
She spoke more about her supporters, "Seeing the support of stores like Allura has been incredible. Kenzie is fantastic and has been so supportive of our cause. We think a lot of her. Others too have been great. We have several clubs who are members as well. ... Foxy's, Always Amazing, Fishermen's Warf Beach Club ... There is no way I am going to be able to get all of these." She would later mention three others, Codfathers, the I Love 80s Club, The Maldives, and one with a store, "Simply Shelby is another great one that has a very accessible store for the blind user."
"A number of residents would be surprised to encounter blind residents," I reminded Mermaid, "What do the various members of the group do here in Second Life?" She told me, "People are surprised. They are also very friendly and do their best to accomidate us for the most part. Different users do different things. One owns his own sim and I believe he runs his own club. Others DJ, role play and shop. ... They are very active in various communities in-world. I don't see some of them often any more. They have left the nest. (laughter)
As Radegast was a few years old, I asked her if there was another viewer in development that would be as helpful or moreso to blind users. Mermaid answered, "Yes. It is being developed by Cinder Roxley. I would interview her about it for further info, honestly. I don't know a whole lot. She is doing a great job and she is developing it alone so it is difficult. She is maintaining Radegast while she works on it. So we are always looking for C++ programmers willing to donate their time to helping her. Radegast is our only avenue for using Second Life. So if it were not here and updated we would be shut out of SL."
Mermaid had messaged the Virtual Ability and Blind Users Support group chats about anyone else whom I might want to talk to, and told me, "Gentle just suggested that you might want to talk to Nilesh. He is a brand-new user who is exploring Second Life for the first time this week. He might have a unique perspective. ... He is a quick study. They learn so much faster than I did. It took me a year to learn to do some of the things he is doing. Of course, we were learning as we went. It was one of those things where you just had to experiment to see what did what."
Meeting up with him took a little effort, and the two of us were soon on the Virtual Ability sim with NileshMistry Resident. He had been on Second Life for only a few days. There were some introductions, then I asked him how was Second Life going for him. "Not bad," Nilesh answered, "I am enjoying it. Second Life has a lot to offer. A bit of a learning curve as a blind screen reader user, things work very differently. But I'm getting my head around things." And what were some of the more challenging things? "Mainly just trying to not go around looking awkward (laughter), so things like knowing where to face, the socially excepted distance you should keep between people, not walking into things or tripping over people, things like that." Mermaid commented musingly "still stumbles over people even after eight years (and) has impaled at least one with my fishing rod. He is wanting to learn to fish so I am thinking I won't be the only one!" That got Nilesh chuckling.
The newcomer went on, "Walking into a new place is difficult obviously its hard to no how far or close you are from people, or if you have your back to them." Mermaid stated, "You won't run in to anyone in SL unless you teleport in on top of someone or sit on them." "Over all though, its great, been getting involved with a lot of events, and finding new places."
I brought up to them that neither had profile pictures. Mermaid responded, "You can put pictures in place but I honestly haven't experimented with it. When you are blind sometimes that slips your mind. Or at least it does for me. Haha." Mermaid tried to get hers in place, but it didn't work and decided to get a friend in real life to take care of it later. Nilesh's luck was not better, "I'll either try again later, or get a friend to do it."
It was about this time we had to go our separate ways. Niles would say about the virtual world, "In general though, Second Life is great and a lot more than I thought is accessible to blind people, and it looks like its just going to be getting better. The client we use is brilliant, Radegast." Mermaid would say, "It is pretty amazing how far we've come in a year. Thank you guys for doing a story on us. Hopefully it promotes us further. The group is open to anyone who is interested in in-world accessibility."
For any questions about the Blind Users Support Group, contact Mermaid Celene (CeleneHighwater Resident).
"Survivors of Suicide" is the largest group in Second Life for people dealing with depression or people who know someone who is. It is headed by Sebastien Bouevier. Recently, he and I met at their new location that was opened a week ago. I asked him if we could stop by the beach. We did. The beach area was well done, resembling one in real life. “That's what I was trying to achieve,” said Sebastien, “I wanted somewhere tranquil and serene for people to come and relax.”
We went to a lookout and sat down. I asked Sebastien if his group was particularly important this time of year. “Yes," he replied, "the holidays is typically the busiest time of year for us at SOS, as a lot of people don't have much in terms of family and friends in real-life, as well as it being a stressful time of year for literally everyone.”
According to Sebastien, he didn't join SOS until just over six years ago. It had already been running for almost four years by then. Krissy Sinclair, the original founder, started it after being a member of a similar group in real life, and realizing that there was a need for it here on Second Life.
I asked Sebastien how many members are there in the SOS. He said, “As of today we have close to 900 members.” said Sebastien, “Yes, we got over 100 new members during the Christmas Fair.” Their Christmas Fair was a month-long event to celebrate their tenth anniversary as well as gain awareness and raise money for the group.
My next question was, “Would you agree that SOS is attracting more and more members in the time of need because they are there to help people in need?” Sebastien's response was, “Yes, I do agree with that. Survivors of Suicide is here for everyone and we are open 24/7. We have a team of mentors who are able to talk with people one on one, and when there aren't any mentors available, our group chat is active and very friendly. It is a sort of community of people all helping and supporting each other.”
The next question is if the SOS would continue on much longer. “Oh yes," said Sebastien, "we are the longest running group of this kind in Second Life. We have seen many other groups come and go, but none have stood the test of time. Judging by the immense support from the SL community at large during our event, we will continue to stay open, and continue to grow.”
I asked if anyone can come in the chat at any time to seek help. “Yes," replied Sebastien, "anyone is welcome to join the group chat at any time to ask for help. A group invite will be sent to everyone who lands at the SOS parcel.”
My next question for Sebastien was when the best time to ask for help would be. “Hmmm, it really depends," said Sebastien, "we have members and mentors from the US west coast, and even Hawaii, to Australia and New Zealand.” “Lets put it this way, I've never been online and not have had at least a dozen of members online at the same time.”
The next question was, “Is there such a thing as exchanging emails with other members or/and mentors so they can continue to receive the help they need when they are not on Second Life?” Sebastien's response was, “No, but that segues nicely into something I wanted to share with you and your readers," said Sebastien, "We have started embracing social media. We are now on FaceBook, Flickr, and we have our own Discord server. Are you familiar with Discord? ... It is called Survivors of Suicide. We have a discord button in the entrance hall of the main SOS building long with a button for our website, FaceBook page, and Flickr.”
“I'm excited that we are now able to reach out to our members even when they aren't in Second Life,” Sebastien said, “It was really nice to see all the people that came to visit us during the event, we have over 3000 people come through, and I spoke with over one hundred of them, and everyone had stories of either themselves or people they knew who has gone through very difficult times. We are going strong into the future, with a new club house, more meetings and activities than before, and that we are here to stay.”
As the interview came to a close, Sebastien said, “My main goal for 2019 is to grow the membership of SOS, I realized just how many people who needs us, or could benefit from us, but don't know we exist. So that is the main objective, and any publicity we can get is fantastic!”
The interview came to a close and I have a good feeling about the future of Survivors of Suicide. As Sebastien said, they are here to stay. As a member of SOS, I look forward to many days with the group. SOS is an excellent group, and they are helping people out in need.
Suicide is a major cause of death, with close to a million cases worldwide and over forty thousand in America every year, and it is believed to be underreported. It has been on the increase in places, up 24% in the past 15 years in America. While it has been on the decrease in Russia recently, it is still very high at 15.6 cases per 100,000 people and has a teen rate three times the world average. Fortunately, there are numerous organization and groups offering help. In Second Life, there is one group created to help people or friends of people whom had attempted it, those or friends of those at risk, or friends and family of those who succeeded and need help coming to terms: Survivors of Suicide. As time went on, the group has gone on to help people with depression in general, though suicide prevention remains a focus.
I was recently invited by one of the staff of Survivors of Suicide, Sebastien Bouevier, to drop by their location at the Schoomere sim and hear him tell about the group. Sebastien described the purpose of the group as, "to spread awareness and help prevent suicide, but we also serve as a peer support group, helping our members though the good and the bad times." When I asked who founded the group and when, he answered, "Krissy Sinclair, our founder, started the group over six years ago. I've been running the group for two years now." When I asked what inspired Krissy to start the group, he answered, "Im not 100% sure, but at that time there wasn't any active support groups for mental health in Second Life. ... I've only been here four years, so I can't say how the group was before I joined, but it has been a very helpful tool to stay well."
He then explained how he got into the group, "What inspires me to keep the group running is the fact that the group was so helpful for me after my suicide attempt four years ago. ... I nearly succeeded. I was sectioned under the Mental Health Act (UK), and spent six weeks in a psychiatric hospital. It was a turning point in my life, as it gave my illness a name. Up until then, I didn't realize how ill I was. When I came out of hospital, it was difficult to get the help I needed to readjust to a normal life, which is when I found Survivors of Suicide where I could get guidance from others who have experienced similar things." He had found out about SoS, as it's sometimes called, by doing a search for mental health groups, "and it was one of the top three results."
When asked about the progress of his recovery, his answer was, "In one word, slow. (laughter) Joking aside, it was very tough to come to terms with having bipolar. It wasn't what I had hoped for me, but that is part of life. We cant decide what cards we are dealt. It took me a couple of years to come to terms, and even longer to fully accept my diagnosis. Nowadays I embrace it, and I spend a lot of my time helping others who are going through similar experiences in their lives."
I asked how many were in the group. Sebastien told me, "743 members at the moment (smile). We are the largest active mental health / peer support group in Second Life. Of course some of our members are more actively participating than others. We think it is so important for the group to be open to everyone. We do get a lot of people come through during the holidays. We have mentor boards on the wall by the staircase where anyone can click on our mentors boards to speak to someone one on one." I asked if the group included people other than those affected by suicide. He told me, "Yes, we are open for anyone. Some of our members are not even suffering from mental health issues, but are carers for friends and relatives that do."
How did Sebastien go from a regular member to one of the staff? His answer was, "I think it was a natural progression. As I got better, I started needing less and less help, and simultaneously having more and more advice to give. I started here as a mentor, helping members through difficult times and sharing my own experiences. Then when Krissy needed a Director of Mentors, I took on that role. I have had managerial experience in real life, so I guess that helped in her decision to appoint me. Then as she had to withdraw even more from Second Life, she made me a co-founder, and I've been doing that for the best part of a year now. I think another important part was that I am very committed to staying well and healthy, and I try to help others do the same. My favorite saying is 'When the sun shines through again, it is time to patch the roof for rain.' It is kind of my motto, really. Knowing that we have a chronic illness, and taking steps to prevent and minimize relapses."
How would he say the group has been doing this time? "It has been pretty steady," Sebastien answered, "Participation in group meetings have increased over the last six months. The average is between four and ten people at a time, which is a really good group size really. Of course we are slightly busier now during the holidays which sadly is a peak time for depression and suicide. I think it reminds people of how lonely they are. So we are here to make sure nobody feels alone." I asked how much busier they are during the Christmas holiday. He answered, "At least thirty percent busier. Maybe fifty percent."
So what would Sebastien recommend to someone who suspects a friend of theirs has depression, and at what point should there be cause for concern? He admitted, "That's a tricky question because everyone are so different. But I'd say its time to start worrying when someone changes drastically from their usual selves, especially if the person is talking a lot about death or suicide. I will say though, if someone decides to withdraw, give them space but encourage them to participate in things, even if its just going for a walk together." I asked him what stories besides his stood out. He told me, "There are too many stories to share them all, but we have helped people suffering with anything from bipolar disorder, anxiety, depression, disassociative personality disorder to childhood abuse victims, each and every member here has their own unique stories."
With the holidays being a time when more people were coming forward, I asked Sebastian if the group had any special plans. He told me, "One of our mentors is organizing a 24 hour sleepover, though the exact date hasn't been set yet. Other than that, we will continue with our weekly group meetings as normal, and have mentors available throughout the day and night for people who need someone to talk to. We have mentors in the US, Canada, UK, Germany, and Australia, so there is usually someone online most of the time. And when nobody is on, there will always be someone in the group chat where people can reach out as well." And their plans for next year? "The current plan is to increase our support group meetings to three per week instead of just two, each one focusing on different aspects to mental health and wellness."
I asked Sebastien about other mental health groups. He told me, "I have seen quite a lot of mental health support groups come and go in the over six years we have been open. I don't want to comment on them as they are no longer open."
Sebastien then showed me the upper meeting room, located almost a couple thousand meters high above the sim. It was a somewhat small room with four chairs large enough to seat more than one person, a bookshelf that looked like it came out of a modern art painting, and a window showing a view of a major city from above, as if in a skyscraper. He told me, "When people click my mentor board I like to bring them here to talk. It is a private and calm space where nobody will disturb us. I have even held an intervention here with one of our members and their friends. Suicide is a serious matter, and we take it very seriously here. I do have to say, that we are NOT mental health professionals, and we don't offer counseling. We are purely a peer support group here to help and support one another through difficult times. Even if we were trained mental health professionals, it would be highly unethical to practice that here in Second Life."
It was about then the interview was over, and we parted ways.
Currently the Survivors of Suicide meets on Wednesdays at 4pm SLT, and Mondays at Noon SLT
"Parkinson's is a progressive neurological disease." said Barbie Alchemi. "My Father died with it and my Mother has it now. But I have learned that although my Mom has Parkinson's, it does not have her!" Her mom would be Fran Seranade. They have a Second Life Parkinson's Support Group that has been meeting for six years. The members have all learned that they are still themselves, their own personalities, and can express their creativity and emotions the same as always.
"Yes my Mom just turned 90 'Years Young' as she likes to say (laughter)," spoke Barbie when she was asked about Fran's recent birthday party. "She thinks of Second Life as the 'Fountain of Youth'. Inside she feels very young, yet her physical body is getting old. The wonderful thing about Second Life is that here she can feel and experience life as young as she looks."
Barbie went on to say that Fran had two birthday parties. The first party was seven hours of live music at their CP Swing 40's Era Dance Ballroom. Over 200 people dropped by to share their love with Fran. They have raised 180,000 Lindens for the Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson's Research that day. "That is $700 US Dollars!" said Barbie. Barbie also added that Fran loves to dance at their new CP Swing Ballroom because they play the music of her teen years, which brings back fond memories for her.
"She was quite the dancer in her day. She and her partner could clear the floor." said Barbie. "The second Birthday Party was even more amazing in some ways."
Barbie explained that six core members of their SL Parkinson's Support Group have become so close after meeting together every week for six years that they all decided to fly from all over the country to be together with Fran on her real-life birthday.
"It was the most wonderful experience," said Barbie, "We have all grown to love each other so dearly, and when we all met in person, it was as if we had known each other forever. Second Life has brought a depth and meaning to our lives that we all treasure."
They have 30 members in the Parkinson's Support Group, but not everyone comes all the time. They usually have around eight members who are there every single week, unless something in real-life prevents them from coming. It is at a perfect size so everyone gets a chance to share as well.
"Mom started the support group in Second Life, and asked Tredi (Dr Donna Davis) to facilitate each week. She presents a meaningful topic that we discuss." said Barbie.
According to Barbie, they have raised almost $10 million Lindens since they started, and that is $40,0000 US Dollars for Parkinson's Research. She also shared some information about the Parkinson's Support Group.
The information is below:
THE STORY OF CREATIONS PARK ~ Grown with Love
Our RL Dad died with Parkinson's and our mother, Fran Seranade, has it now. To quote her "I may have Parkinson's, but it does not have me." At 90 "years young", she is active in Second Life and is thrilled to see herself running and dancing again. We have built everything on Creations Park with LOVE. We hope you can feel that love while you are enjoying yourself here.
OUR MISSION
It is our Creations Team Mission to use our love and talents to make a difference in both the RL and SL worlds. We create experiences to stimulate Hearts, Minds, Bodies and Souls. It is our goal to help find a cure for Parkinson's which will then lead to a cure for all neurological diseases. Come share your love with us and help us find the cure!
***VIDEO***
PLEASE be sure to watch our award winning video about the benefits of SL for our RL Mom who is 90 "years young" and has Parkinson's. Ebbe Linden (CEO of Linden Labs) has called this one of the most important video ever made
[13:41] Barbie Alchemi: about Second Life! This will inspire and touch your heart!
The Drax File: World Makers- Episode 13 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nyiiWxNguGo&feature=youtu.be
DONATIONS
100% of all donations go to Team Fox for The Michael J Fox Foundation for Parkinson's Research. We believe it is important for you to know how your donations are being spent. Our family covers all tier and expenses. All Donations are directly wired from Linden Labs to the Foundation. The MJFF has the top rating from Charity Navagators and has the lowest overhead of any major charity, giving 89% directly to the most promising research!
"It is not our challenges that define us, our actions do." - Michael J Fox
"If someone would like to join our Parkinson's Support Group, then need to contact me for an invitation to the group," Barbie told me.
Barbie was invited to NYC to meet Michael J. Fox in person as a result of the important work they do on Second Life to help find a cure for Parkinson's.
The SLurl for the main landing spot is: Creations Park (90,164,36)
I recently sat down with Rana Dexler (random.demina) to talk about Survivors of Suicide and what the group is all about. Rana explained that the group is about offering support to people who suffer from depression and other mental illnesses, including bipolar and borderline. Krissy Sinclair founded the group, and is still an active member.
"Group chat is open 24/7 for peer support, and I have a support group meeting at SOS on Wednesdays at 3:30." said Rana. SOS stands for Survivors of Suicide. The support group meeting is at S.O.S. Survivors of Suicide Group, Schoomere (162, 45, 22). If anyone wants to join the group, it's free to join with an open enrollment. "There are no criteria for becoming a member." said Rana.
When Rana was asked if she would recommend this group to anyone who have mental illness, she said, "I would. I suffer from mental illness myself, and the group has been a great help to me." Rana joined SOS a very long time ago when she was in bad shape, both emotionally and mentally. "Well, I joined SOS a very long time ago, (again, cant tell you how long for sure) and I was in really bad shape emotionally, and mentally." said Rana. "SOS gave me people to talk to, which helped a lot, in combination with rl medication and rl therapy. Now, my illness is manageable and I feel my time with SOS has left me better able to cope."
Rana is a mentor, which makes Rana one of the chatroom moderators. Rana is available for chat whenever Rana is online. Rana is also the facilitator for the Wednesday support group.
Rana did say something important. "I'd like to add that depression is the most common mental illness, but also the most treatable. If you suffer from depression, please seek treatment. most cities have free mental health services that can help." said Rana.
However, the whole point of the SOS is to be there for people with mental illnesses. Rana's plan for the future would be to carry on with Rana's support group, and encourage the other mentors to do the same.
Survivors of Suicide is a support group that has been going on for almost 10 years, if not longer. It is for people with mental illnesses. The group continues to grow.
The results of US Presidential elections always bring out cheers from
those who won and some sadness and sometimes a little anger from those
who didn't. For instance in 1992 with the election of Bill Clinton,
Democrats called it a new generation coming to power while Republicans
often moaned the White House was in the hands of a skirt-chaser. But the 2016 election season had been an especially intense one. Both major political parties fielded controversial candidates, and partisans again and again stated the election of the opposing candidate would spell disaster for the country. On Election Day on Tuesday November 8, the country went to the polls, and in a tight election that wasn't decided until almost Midnight SL time, the Republican candidate Donald Trump was declared the winner.
For conservatives, many were celebrating and/or breathing sighs of relief. But many liberals took the results with shock and dismay. While that Trump was a political rookie was occasionally a source of worry, more often many feared his over-the-top statements made during the campaign were a sign that he and his allies would make an effort to roll back their rights.
It was several days later that Evangeline Ling, the leader of the Hillary Clinton HQ in Bay City during the election, decided to do something about these fears. So she announced in the Clinton HQ group, "We are launching our post-election support group appropriately named
SAFETY PIN. The purpose of this group will be to provide a safe space
for people negatively impacted by the election to process it and to
support each other." On Thursday November 17 came another notice, "We will be launching our 1st support group meeting on Tonight, November 17th at 7:00 PM SLT Please come join us. Then if you would like to take some time to process your fears, hopes, and experiences about this election. It's been a stressful week for many of us I know. If you know a friend who is struggling with this in SL please bring them with you."
The location of the "Safety Pin" meeting was in a two-story skybox high above Bay City, above a spot marked by the symbol of the Clinton campaign, and a car with it painted on the hood. Evangeline greeted the number of men and women present. The people there expressed a great deal of fear about the future, some for their physical well-being in real life. Seeing me, Evangeline requested that everything stated in the meeting be off the record, as well as no pictures published from inside the building on the second floor unless the subject gave his or her okay later. But she did say she'd be willing to talk later.
Later on, Evangeline told me she had been doing security for the Clinton HQ, and had to deal with quite a large number of griefers. Of the Trump supporters, "it's too easy to just say they are all a bunch of malevolent racists. I see them in the categories." The majority she felt were "white working voters mostly concerned about the economy and changing the system. Hillary failed to really fully address their concerns so they went with Trump who was a big FU to the system. I actually have a great deal of empathy for them."
The second group she felt were mainly motivated by their hate and/or fear of Clinton, "they might not even actually like Trump. My Stepdad thought he was a total idiot, but voted for him anyways because he was not a Clinton." The third group was the "Alt-right," which she felt was a sanitized name for white supremacists and other outright extremist groups that were essentially fascist, "they will be the ones throwing out antisemitic memes, Pepe the frog memes, neo-nazi memes, etc. They are very social media driven."
"My biggest fear of this election is that Trump has made people in the Alt Right more comfortable in being OUT about their hate." She described an incident at a Chili's restaurant in Texas in which a black veteran had his meal taken away, "Chili's has since apologized to the vet and removed the manager. But why did this have to happen? ... Trump has, even if not directly or intentionally, emboldened those with those views."
I asked her where the idea of the safety pin as the group's symbol come from. Evangeline told me, "we decided to go ahead and use the safety pin since it became such a phenom in real-life. It actually was a symbol people used after Brexit in the UK." When I brought up that some conservatives were poking fun at it, she answered, "They were going to make fun of us no matter what we called ourselves."
On her Flickr page, Evangeline had a message for Trump supporters. "If
you are celebrating today congratulations you have gotten something you
wanted and as much as I disagree with your choice there is a part of me
that is happy that somebody found some joy in this decision. But right
now there are many things that you are doing that will cut off a person
like me for a very long time, possibly permanently." Among her comments was one about illegal aliens, or "undocumented immigrants," which I asked her about that, saying conservatives were highly unlikely to change calling them the former, her answer was, "we will continue to call that an offense against human dignity to refer to a person as an illegal."
So what did she think lay ahead? "I think two years of disappointment for sure," she answered, "Then I'm putting hopes that we can take back the Senate, and maybe lighten up the House a bit." She was hoping Tim Ryan of Ohio would be the next Minority Leader of the House, "he has a plan to reclaim moderate blue collar voters ... who may have tilted Trump this year. ... But honestly, I will not breath easy until Trump is totally out of office altogether.
Asking about future meetings, Evangeline told me the next one would be on Friday November 25 (today), the day after Thanksgiving, at 7PM SL time, feeling some right-wing minded family members would be rubbing it in at the family gatherings, "We are gonna get out our post Thanksgiving detox that day after any potentially explosive dinner table convos. ... My thoughts are Uncle Archie needs to lay off Meathead this Thanksgiving and stick a turkey leg in it." After that, events would be on a floating schedule, with plans for two events in December, "after that we might go down to one meeting a month, will have to see."
Since the first support group meeting, the situation in politics continues to change. The protests in the streets in many cities seem to be quieting down, though the worry remains. The President-elect is still selecting members of his administration, some choices seen as sound, others raising eyebrows. Evangeline may have her support group meetings around for a while.
Hamlet Au has also written about the support group, his article here.
For those wanting to be at the support group meetings, contact Evangeline Ling for a landmark.
Every Sunday at Noon SL time, a depression support group meets inworld to help visitors with any problems. Titled “Survivors of Suicide,” the group in fact takes care of a variety of mental health issues depending on the needs of those at the group.
Dropping over one Sunday, the group's building had a few games around, in addition to a campire area where all were gathered. Fidelius "Fid" Dollinger was the group member leading the chat that day. There were a few others there, at least one other whom had also just found the group. Fidelius had this to say about the meeting, "a short explain of this group here, we are here for talking out what bothers us or also to share nice moments. All what you want to talk (about), you may. You aren´t forced to say something. The important (thing) is that nobody needs to have the feeling ' I am alone.' That is why we are here."
Of the subject of depression, "We are a handful of staff here, and we try always our best to help. And we, the staff, know also very well what is going on by depressive moods, because we are dealing with it too, or have dealt with it a long time." Fidelius admitted that he had a history of depression since he was a teenager, "but I have started a journey for myself and it still continues, and I work all out my feelings and fears … since then I feel much better."
Others there had comments and questions, "What happens when you aren't strong enough? When you are sick of fighting every day?" "This is why there are places like this, so you can meet people that can help you along." "I have to fight evey day in real life, a fight where I never will win. BUT, shall I let this stop me from letting me feel good? No." "Some days you just want to curl up in a little ball and never wake up. Somedays you say 'why am I even here,' yet somehow I still am here, but I grow weary of the fight ..."
People discussed how to best deal with problems, "Very important to let the past in the past …" "That's easy to say, but not so easy to do." "Well, SL can be helpful to find a way out of the blues." "Learn lessons and try not to repeat the same mistakes." "I'm sick of people telling me to simply forgive and let go when you don't know what's in my head …" "I know to find the right moment … isn't often. … you have to catch the right time." "I'm guessing when people say 'just get over it,' it makes you feel as if there almost dismissing how you feel?"
Fidelius offered suggestions time to time, including a reference to a kids' cartoon from years ago, "Do you know of 'Puff the Magic Dragon?' He is my absolute favorite, and I think we all have a 'Puff' inside us. … He is a dragon, a cation from I think the '70s. He was shown a small boy, Jacky Paper, who hadn't a self-assurance, that he was thinking he too hadn't self-assurance deep inside him. … He showed the boy that he had a self-assurance deep inside."
Later I met Krissy Sinclair, the founder of the group. She called Fidelius, "my angle for running the support groups." She was happy to see me, "I get so excited when new people find us." Besides the support meetings, "We also post daily healthy living articles to the group, and host a candlelight memorial in a skybox above us."
Krissy explained in real life, she has a Masters Degree in social work, "that is what made me start this project in Second Life. … Three years ago, we have been around a long time by SL terms." I asked her if there was a particular event that sparked its founding. She answered, "I am an artist in real life, and I brought my art into SL. Then I sis an exhibit called 'Life/Death.' I found people were drawn to the Life portion of the exhibit and they liked to hang out there. People told me their story and many had depression. I also used to run a depression support group in real life. So those combined made me think of doing it here."
"At first, my friends said 'don't do it.' I did it anyway, and we are now almost 300 members strong. … I was thinking if I got 25 members, that would be good (laughter). … It is very rewarding, and the grow helps me as much as I help them. The group members all learn to help each other. We use the chat feature as 24/7 support as well."
"We do not charge any fees. We also don't do counseling as I feel that needs to be done in real life. We offer support. … I often get thank you notes from people who say this group has helped them."
The group is more than happy to accept help. Recently, Nydia Tungsten offered the SoS group a backup meeting place on her land. The group's regular meeting location is at the San Jose East sim at (98, 140, 23)
Before parting ways, I took a look at Fidelius' profile. Among the information were a few words of wisdom.
"Learn from the past, live in the present, and have trust in the future."
Bixyl Shuftan
*note* the red areas in the pictures are from my viewer, which was getting buggy at the time.
