Survivors of Suicide Closes, Impact Mental Health Opens

 By Bixyl Shuftan

On Saturday October 23, the Survivors of Suicide, probably the best known depression support group in Second Life, had it's last meeting. It was a week before in which it's leader and owner of it's sim, Sebastien Bouevier, announced that the group would soon be closing. Sebastien cited a need to focus more on real-life and no one else stepping forward whom could run the group for long.

The meeting started at 3 SL time. The various people there thanked the others for helping them through difficult times, some telling detailed stories. There were also a few lines in group chat. Among them, "... we are just starting a new chapter, not closing the book."

Sebastien himself would only speak near the end:

"Hearing all your stories tonight has been very touching, and has really hit home just how much of a difference SOS has made to so many lives over the past 13 years. I hope you will continue to be there for each other and keep the spirit of SOS going for years to come. It has been the privilege of a lifetime to be a part of this. I love you all."

The meeting ended at 4PM, and people began to slowly leave, some TPing out, others getting one last look at the island. Shortly after came the dreading DING! and screen shaking signaling a sim restart countdown. But logging back on, I was in a different sim, and was unable to teleport back to the Survivors of Suicide sim. It was closed. I was also no longer able to check the group for any chat messages. 

While the Survivors of Suicide group may be gone, another was started to take it's place: Impact Mental Health by Kitten Stratten-Jaks (Kitten Meridoc). 

We know this is a sad time for many of you, but we'd like to extend a heartfelt welcome to all of our new members.

This week, the focus is on SOS and saying goodbye and so Impact may be quieter than we expect it to become. We're also working on populating the group, so please have a little patience.

In the mean time, keep an eye out for notices about our opening day! We're really excited to show you what we're putting together for you guys.

Welcome to Impact our new warriors.

The group soon had a location, on Urban Dream, and an opening event was planned for Sunday October 24.

Join us for the Grand Opening of Impact Mental Health; a Peer Support group right here in Second Life. Offering Information, Mentoring, Group Chat and Support Meetings throughout the week. Come visit our brand new location. The Impact Community are here and we're listening.

The event, hosted by Sherridon Mercury,  was scheduled to start at Noon SL time. But people were arriving early. Dropping by, I was complemented about my appearance. She confirmed about the group being created in response to the closing of the SoS, "we wanted to give the people some support and some familiarity after that news." 

We were next to the main building. Besides Kitten and Sherridon, there were six mentors as group staff. Sherridon was greeting people, "Hello and welcome to all those just joining us, we will be kicking off our celebrations with a liver performance from Ugly Bill at the top of the hour! In the meantime, feel free to get acquainted with our new land and new organization!."

Eventually, Noon approached, and people were invited to head to the dance area in a nearby part of the sim. "Ugly Bill" soon got on stage and started performing while the audience danced away.  "We're so thrilled to have you here at the grand opening of Impact Mental Health!" people were told as they arrived.

Besides that many were at the party, the Impact group chat also saw a lot of chatter that day. Some would talk about their real-life issues. Others would say they were happy and relieved there was still a mental health support group for them.

There are also other mental health support groups around in Second Life. And someone messaged me in IM that she was starting still another. So for those who know where to look, mental health support groups are still around.

It's been spoken before that the only thing that's constant is that there is change. And in a virtual world, even more so. A valued mental health support group has closed after thirteen years. But in it's place, a new one has arisen, one that has had a good start.

Bixyl Shuftan
 

When A Friend Passes Away

By Deaflegacy

Most of my story will be about real-life, but it's one I need to tell.

October 27, 2018, was one of the hardest days I had in my life.  It was the day that my best friend of nearly four years passed away.  Her name has been changed to give her friends and family privacy so I will settle on Yvonne.  My other best friend, Larry (name changed for the same reason) texted me.  He wanted me to call him.  So I called Larry.  It was then Larry told me that Yvonne had passed away.  At first, I thought Larry was kidding and Larry said no.  We made an arrangement to meet. Larry's girlfriend, Beth (name changed for the same reason) and Larry pick me up.  We stopped by Yvonne's house.  It then hits me.  Yvonne is gone.  She's not coming back. 

We knew it was going to happen because Yvonne kept falling asleep.  She passed away in her sleep most likely from a heart failure.  I miss Yvonne very much.  Even when Beth told me that I have to move on, I still miss her very much.  If there is one thing that never will change, it's that Yvonne will still be my inspiration.  She was one of the few people who inspired me to write in my journal every day.  Even when Yvonne is gone, I will continue to write in my journal every day for Yvonne. 

But I know Yvonne will not be forgotten. I remember last year when Bixyl and Gemma told me about their SL friend Breezes Babii passing away. Her friends came together to give her a funeral here in Second Life. They still talk about her once in a while. A few weeks ago, Akea Grommet, another of Bixyl's SL friends, passed away. Akea's friends gathered at his partner's house here in Second Life to share stories about him. Some hadn't seen him a long time, but still they came to pay their respects.

At least, I know that Yvonne is at peace.  She is in a better place and that's why I'm tell you all about my best friend of nearly four years.  Yvonne was a wonderful and kind person, who cared very much about me.  Even though I know that Yvonne is in a better place now, it doesn't stop me from missing her.  From the day I left her house, carrying a large teddy bear, I know right now that Yvonne is with me.  Best Friends Forever.

Deaflegacy

"Your Mother Has Cancer"

By Deaflegacy,


“Your mother has cancer,” I was told one day.  “It's too late.  They're moving her to the hospice.”  That was what I heard in 2013.  That was the year I was living in Langley before I moved somewhere else. 

My best friend was still alive back then.  We would take a trip to the Langley Hospice so we could visit Mom.  I remember wanting to spend as much time as I could with Mom and at the same time, I can feel that I'm starting to lose her. 

On August 15, 2013, we visited the hospice.  I saw her on bed.  She was asleep.  I didn't want to wake her up.  The nurse told me to talk to Mom.  I talked to Mom.  I told her that everything will be fine.  As I was talking to Mom, I knew it would be the last I'd see of Mom.

 We left.  According to my best friend, Mom passed away fifteen minutes after we left.  I remember arriving at my best friend's place and the phone was ringing.  My best friend answered the phone and immediately started crying.  I just knew.  Mom passed away because of cancer. 

The same thing that took my Uncle away earlier when my Grandmother was still alive. 

At the same time, I was in shock.  Mom was my best friend.  Even though we have had really hard times when I was growing up, we were still best friends. 

Sometimes after I joined Second Life, I found out about Relay for Life.  I wanted to join and offer support.  I did join Relay for Life. 

I did move on, knowing that Mom is with my Uncle and Grandmother.  I know that one day, I would join them.  Yes, I do miss them, and yes, I do resent cancer in every possible way, knowing that cancer did strike four times in my family – my Grandfather, my Grandmother, my Uncle, and my Mother got cancer.  My grandmother survived cancer (it was skin cancer).  I don't know about my Grandfather.  All I know is that my Grandfather did not die of cancer.  It would be my Uncle and mother who died of cancer.  I miss them very much. 

One day, I asked Bixyl Shuftan if I can write about my family having cancer and how it affected me, seeing that my family had been hit by cancer.  I can honestly tell you that each time, it's the same thing.  A hard cold blow, knowing what would happen in the end with my mother.  Do I hate cancer for taking my family away from me?  Yes, I do, very much hate cancer. 

I just know that later on, my best friend got cancer.  She would later die of a cardiac arrest.  I miss her, too. 

Do I think that I might one day get cancer because my family got it?  Yes, it scares me.  But is it possible?  No.  My father's family doesn't get cancer.  When it comes to my uncle and mother, both their parents got cancer. 

Now, I'm a little sad, missing my family.  That's the reason why I joined Relay for Life.  It's so I can offer support to people who have been affected by cancer in any way.

Deaflegacy

"Your Mother Had Cancer."

By Deaflegacy

"Your mother had cancer."

I just looked at the interpreter before looking away.  Later on, I met with my Mother and my best friend.  My mother had been spending some time in the ER.  It had something to do with her stomach so my best friend spent some time with her.  That day, we found out that the doctor can't do anything for my Mother.  It was too late.  It was then recommended that my mother go to the hospice.  We agreed on that. 

Later on, I saw my mother in the hospice.  It was like a home, but these who were about to say good bye to like.  I remember the day before and my mother was doing just fine.  We talked.  We have had fun.  I will never ever forget that day I said good bye to my mother.  My best friend and I went to see her. 

She was in bed.  One of her eyes was closed, and another was open.  I knew right then that I have to say good bye to her.  The nurse stopped by and encouraged me to talk to my mother.  I did exactly that.  I told my Mother that everything will be okay.  My best friend and I will be all right.  We will do what we can for the family dog.  The family dog's name is Gracey.  I said good-bye and we left. 

When we got home, my best friend received a phone call from the hospice.  Fifteen minutes after we left, my Mother passed away.  While my best friend wept, I was in shock.  I knew that my Mother was going to join my Grandmother in Heaven.  I just wasn't expecting that soon.  It still is very painful for me to think about it, especially when we have to give the family dog up for adoption.  I have no idea where Gracey is right now, but I hope she is doing well. 

So many things have gone by and I still think about my Mother.  To me, she was everything.  It is true that there had been bad times, but there had been good times as well.  She was not just my mother.  She was my best friend.  Cancer took her away from me and I did say good bye to her that day, August 15, almost three years ago.  I'd say that this coming August 15 would be the three year anniversary since my Mother passed away.  Not a day had gone by that I don't think about her.  All I can say is that she is in Heaven with my grandmother and uncle.  I didn't tell her this but I might as well say it out loud.  My Mother was much more than just my mom and best friend.  She was my mentor. 

Deaflegacy

Yoga Teacher Pramiil Magne Leaves Second Life

By Grease Coakes

He’s been my Guru for almost two years and due to his real life and request of his wife Kira, Pramiil Magne has left his Brahma Yoga class here in Second Life. Speaking for myself it’s going to be hard for me as I enjoyed coming to his meditation classes. His meditation technique and how far I have advanced in his class has made a large impact in my self-esteem and I’m less angry. Guru is a Sanskrit term for "teacher" or "master", especially in Indian religions.


You might remember that I wrote an article about him last year about what his class is all about. Lots of people, and me included, were sad to see him go. My friends in the BY class said various things about him leaving Second Life."

Aldaida, "Just would be nice if he could both stay and be happy, but we can't have everything we want."

Linux, who goes by his spiritual name, Divyamurti which means "The expression of the divine,” had this to say: “I like his information.”

StJohn Noyes over the phone had this to say about Pramiil our guru.

“That he was very committed to building and he was kind and was happy to give us love and attention in leading us in meditation. In addition to that he built spiritual connections between himself and hi students. He was educated and always knew the answer to spiritual questions. Pramiil has been a Guru for the past 30 years or so he had lots of knowledge to share.”

St John’s girlfriend Eyll Tripsa had this to say about Pramiil who has been a long time student of his teachings.

Eyll Tripsa, "For me Guruji was like a father figure. He guided me in Spiritualty. He has changed my view on life. And that helped me enormously in daily life."

My Guru has been helpful with helping with anger issues with myself and also Time of Sand who had this to say as a newcomer to the class.

TimeofSand, "He will be missed a lot."

Tiggy Scholessinger a furry who I invited to BY class who came to his class once had this to say about Pramiil, “It was a pleasure meeting him and it was a nice experience to meditate with him. I felt relaxed and really good about myself.”


When I got the quote from Eyll, she was telling me that she and her boyfriend StJohn were planning classes. She told me that Baba asked Eyll and St John to continue to organize times for everyone to meditate together. Baba Anandamurti a Guru that is no longer on earth, but he is a Guru that is very connected to Brahma asked Eyll and StJohn to start organizing classes right away.

People are welcome to meditate with me and my friends. Sadly due to real life, Pramiil can no longer be in Second Life to guide us spiritually. However with his teachings, I still have a strong connection to Brahma. And Pramiil did say ...

Pramiil Magne, "You are great Grease you have come such a long way (smile)."

Grease Coakes, "Thanks Guruji, but I’m sure I still have a while to go yet."

Pramiil Magne, "(smile) Yes, but you will get there very soon just keeping moving forward spiritually."

I’m not exactly sure what he meant by my next level of spiritualty is, but I’m sure it can only improve my soul and my real life person. Pramiil is still alive in real life and he said he will come watch over us when we meditate. He had this to say

Grease Coakes, "Namaste Guruji were you in my meditation before?"

Pramiil Magne, "Yes I was just there (smile)."

His avatar left us in Second Life, but he’s still thinking about our pixel avatars and the people behind them. That’s a lot of devotion and I’m happy that Pramiil Magne was and still is my Guru.

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Airtol%20Hill/166/82/58

Grease Coakes

Looking Back: The End of Second Life Newspaper

By Bixyl Shuftan

Three years ago this month was when my writing career in Second Life faced it's moment of decision.  At the time, I was working at Second Life Newspaper, with Grey Lupindo, Gemma Cleanslate, Shellie Sands, and Breezes Babii as coworkers. Our boss was Dana Vanmoer, the longtime editor, and recently the owner of the paper.


The past several months had not been easy ones for Dana, or the paper. One of our major sponsors, BNT landholdings, had suddenly went bankrupt. Besides the significant loss of revenue and a private island, Dana had to put up with a lot of grief from people who sent her angry messages due to our advertising of them. She had to deal with them by herself as the founder of SLN, JamesT Juno, had left Second Life due to real life troubles. He and Dana had grown closer and partnered, so his leaving was doubly painful for her. Also, over time several writers had dropped out due to real-life situations, leaving us a smaller paper than when I came aboard.

As the office manager, I would update the paper when Dana couldn't. This didn't happen often for most of the time I had the job. But in 2010, it fell to me more and more often. It wasn't a big matter to me as I wrote a lot anyway. Whatever was bugging her, I felt would soon pass.

It was in April in which our Editor called for a staff meeting. I was still looking back at our "April Fool" article with chuckles, so I went in with fairly light spirits. Little did I realize what was ahead. After her greeting, Dana dropped a bombshell. She couldn't keep up the paper any more due to real life problems. Despite that James had made her the CEO, she didn't feel it was really "her" paper to give to someone else. So not only would she be resigning, but the paper would be closing as well, in June.

Our reaction was stunned disbelief. We urged her not to call it quits for good, but to take a break. Her response was that she didn't see her problems going away for a long, long time. Gemma urged her if she had to go to hand the paper over to me, or even a merger with another SL media company. But Dana's decision was final. The paper would continue on until June to finish off our sponsorships. Some would be getting a little extra time for free. We were also asked not to tell anyone else about this, not even our sponsors.

With the paper's fate sealed, we did the only thing we could, keep writing. Well, almost the only thing. We chatted among ourselves about options, and came the idea of forming another paper. It would not be an easy task. We would be in effect starting over. But there just was no other option on the table.

One complication was when I got a complaint about an article I did for an adult media company by a competitor, insisting they were dishonest. As I couldn't talk about the paper's closing, I told him I'd be in a better position to do an advert for them later on. I also got a job offer from one of our medium sponsors: Mystery. I told them I could start in early June.

Dana did feel we should at least throw one final bash for our friends and supporters. So in a press release she announced some "big news" would be forthcoming at a party on Saturday June 5th. James would be able to make it that day fortunately. We looked to the day with a mix of anticipation and dread.

Finally the day came, and the staff gathered early. We greeted James, happy to meet the old boss, at least for today. The party started off well enough, with others happy to see James as well. I think someone thought the "big news" was James' return. But it was not to be. Eventually, James himself called everyone into chat range.

"It is with pain in our heart that we salute you tonight. It is with pain in our heart we leave this place. It is with pain in our heart we allow the final curtain to fall. For us as avatar, and for our beloved newspaper, its time to end it."

"The sl-newspaper will end."

It must've been a true shock to the audience. A number expressed their sadness in sad sighs and tears. I did announce a few minutes later the rest of us would be setting up another paper. But as expected, it did little to ease the sting. Instead of the new paper, people kept IMing me asking why the paper was closing down. It was an outwardly happy party, but on the inside, we were sad that this would be the last we'd be all together.

Eventually, James and Dana had to go. And their avatars faded away. And the staff and I stood there, knowing that the end of SL Newspaper had finally come, and what lay ahead was an uncertain future.

Dana's final article went up shortly there after. She explained that with their real life problems becoming too much to handle, or "our real lives taking over" as she put it, she and James just couldn't run the paper any more. She thanked the staff and her friends, such as 10 Goosson and the Skybeam community, for their support. She also gave a parting warning, "One thing I would hope for the future for SL is that the Lindens go back and realize what they are destroying with their policies. The sheer creativity, communication, and … impact … is being eaten away by the Lindens stupidly ignoring the content creators with their ill thought out policies, which help no one, except their own pockets." There was a small irony here as days later, the Lab laid off a third of their staff.

Soon afterwards, the front page of the paper changed, announcing it was closed. there were a couple banners up for Skybeam and M and M Creations, in addition to a link to the archives, at least for the front page. But most of the other sections were closed down, for reasons known only to Dana. Fortunetly, we found the "People" section was still up.

Dana had also left a link to the new newsletter, so readers could find it. One last favor.

Over the next few days, I continued to get messages, asking why SLN had folded. Some expressed their sympathies, but I also got a couple angry responses from sponsors, "Why didn't you tell us?!" I never heard a word about the free month of time some got. The porn director who complained earlier about an article was also upset. Among other SL media outlets, the "Herald," the tabloid that Dana joked was our arch rival, made a brief announcement that was an overall complement to her.

Over time, I would see JamesT Juno a couple more times. He was happy with how me and the staff were continuing with the news. Dana I would see inworld only once more. She came online once in November 2010 while Breezes was in the hospital. We met and talked for a while. It was a meeting unlike what we had before. No longer was it as her the editor and me her top reporter. Instead, it was me as the editor of the paper that had taken the place of hers. Talking with her, she explained she hadn't kept up with reading up about Second Life, and was surprised to hear about the layoffs at Linden Lab and the Emeraldgate mess. This would be the last time we chatted.

As the weeks and months went by, I heard more about Dana's real life situation. While I can't disclose what it is, I can say it was about to make running the paper impossible. I can only assume she continues to communicate with her SL family in some way, but her days of running a media outlet are behind her.

Perhaps someday, hopefully someday soon, she and James can be happy together again.

In the meantime, we at the Newser in June prefer to look back at June as not so much the end of our old newspaper, but the founding of our new one. As the original Second Life Newspaper began as one man's dream, others who shared the dream would carry on with Second Life Newser.

But that, is another story.

Bixyl Shuftan