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Showing posts with label SLife and times. Show all posts
Showing posts with label SLife and times. Show all posts

Monday, August 21, 2023

Commentary: Is Furry Discrimination Widespread? Probably Not

 
 By Bixyl Shuftan

You're enjoying a place in Second Life. Maybe it's a club you heard about. Maybe you're exploring around, and going through someone's land. You're minding your own business and behaving yourself when you're stopped by someone in charge and told you have to change your avatar or leave, the one that you see as the real you in Second Life and into one that you see as unlike at all what you consider yourself to be here. Naturally, you don't like the idea, and you either ignore the person, or tell him or her that you don't understand what the fuss is all about. The next thing you know, there's a flash, and then you realize you've been booted from the place. Or maybe the person was a lot nastier, calling your appearance sick and perverted, and demanding you either change to what they consider acceptable or else, or just simply kick you out.

Naturally, you'd be a little resentful, especially if it was the later. And if you hear about this happening to friends a lot, it may make you a little more cautious about going around new places inworld.

Unfortunately, this is how some furry residents feel about Second Life. I've heard of tales of this kind of harassment from some, and some even if they haven't gone through it themselves, the stories about it happening to others make them hesitant about visiting unfamiliar places inworld. The problem was recently brought to light in an article written by Samuel Roberts for the SL Enquirer.

As a Second Life fur, I'm happy to hear those in human avatars are addressing that the problem exists. But just how bad is it really?

I first wrote about the issue in March 2009 following an incident some furry friends were barred from a beach. After more than two years in Second Life, I'd only personally been asked to leave just because of the furry avatar once, and a week later had bee invited to a fancy event that only asked that I wear a suit. The article drew a number of responses, most siding those who wanted freedom from harassment. After that, I'd only been clearly told twice to leave because of having a furry avatar, and one of them was likely the place in the first article. There was one place in which a bot whispered to me that nonhuman avatars weren't welcome, but no further action was taken. There was one political place who threw out an alt of mine for being furry, but not me when I showed up later, or the one other furry that was there. One place I was invited to a few years ago, I tipped the DJ and hostess after some good music was played out of courtesy. The hostess messaged me that they usually didn't allow furry avatars, but they couldn't in good conscious boot someone who tipped the staff. Also a few years ago, JB Raccoon would ask me to write about one incident in which he was booted from a club after being there for an hour.

Grease Coakes would also write about two incidents he was involved in, here and here, which happened a few years apart. His earlier article got a few noteworthy comments. One commentator remarked he found it hard to sympathize as the club in his real-life town wouldn't allow you in unless your shoes looked expensive. Another commented that while she'd been harrased, the hostess seemed to be reacting less out of furry hate but instead thinking all furry avs were script-heavy. Someone else brought up another issue: feral avatars. One commentator had visited a club in a feral horse avatar that claimed to welcome everyone, but were booted, the person saying they kept bumping into people and the commentator was saying she'd been trying to avoid that.

And it's not all humans against furs, but occasionally the other way around. In my early days in Second Life, one friend in a human avatar once came to me in tears, saying she'd been thrown out of a furry area because of her avatar "I had no idea furries could be so cruel!" She would never visit a furry area again. And then there was an incident I personally witnessed about a decade ago. At one furry club, a human DJing was performing and the party went smoothly with people having fun until all of the sudden one of the foxes went ballistic, ranting and raving and calling the DJ a "hairless ape." The vixen owner, who had personally hired the DJ, saw this, and in a fit of rage booted out the offender, then offered the DJ her apologies. But the damage was done, her leaving soon after and saying she'd never play at another furry club. And discrimination can backfire in unexpected ways. I heard about one SL church in which furries were welcomed with open arms for some years, then when it's first pastor retired the new one insisted parishioners "keep it real" and told the furries if they wanted to keep coming, they had to change to human avatars. Well, as a result, not only did the furs leave, but so did many of the humans who didn't like their furry friends given the cold shoulder. The church folded soon after. The club that JB had gotten the boot from would also fold soon after.

There were two other details that come to mind. One was luck. Some people just seem to avoid trouble while others seem to run into problem after problem. So sadly with the law of averages, some furries would see more problems than others. And then there's that bad situations weigh more heavily on most peoples' minds than good ones. In grade school, I read a poem by a black man who had gone to an amusement park as a child, which had plenty of roller coasters, food stands, and games. But years later, his only vivid memory of the event was being called the N-word.

It should be noted most of the incidents I've heard of happened years ago. But how are things today? Talking to one furry neighbor, it was her opinion while the problem still existed, it wasn't as bad as it used to be. Much of the reason she felt was that attitudes among many of those who prefer human avatars were changing, such as being willing to go furry on occasion themselves. She'd seen a number of furs in recent years of who if you looked at their profile had a human picture.

Just after I started writing this, someone messaged me and complained about a supposed incident, not human against furry, but furry against furry. She claimed because she was a tiny mouse avatar, at a small furry club she was pressured to engage in strange roleplay, and thrown out when she refused (in a included notecard with a conversation with one of the staff, the person denied any wrongdoing).

So in conclusion, yes, discrimination against furries is a problem. But it most likely isn't as bad as some make it out to be, and probably isn't as bad as it was in the past. And it isn't just furs getting the boot, but humans and others can and do experience it as well. But it is appreciated that people like Samuel are trying to do something about it.

In the meantime, most places don't care what you look like as long as you behave. And in the case of music venues, just about all appreciate someone who tips. So don't let the stories about a few clowns ruin your plans to explore all of what Second Life has to offer.

Bixyl Shuftan
 

Tuesday, February 21, 2023

Reader Submitted: It's Only A Pixel Moon (My Time With Areal Loonie)

 
By DrFran Babcock 

It's Only A Paper Moon by Billy Rose, Harold Arlen, E. Y. Harburg

Say, it's only a paper moon
Sailing over a cardboard sea
But it wouldn't be make-believe
If you believed in me

INTRODUCTION

   Second Life has a reputation of being a sex-crazed and wild place. What is so peculiar about this is the fact that, while there is a plethora of every kind of kink that exists in this world, when you get to know people in Second Life, what you find is that it really is the place of deep and meaningful relationships. Touch, taste and smell are removed from the equation, and sight is based on how one chooses to represent. Thus, most people who go on to communicate in relationships find that the reliance on talking or typing leads to deeper connections than in meat space.  Here’s a story about all that.

SHOW & TELL

Show and Tell was one of my favorite events in Second Life. Each week Barney Boomslang and florenze Kerensky hosted residents in SL who wanted to demonstrate wild and inventive things they had built. After everyone had their time on the stage, the audience voted for the best item, and the winner got some Linden dollars. The crowd was as sharp and funny as the hosts and presenters.  

   In the second half of 2008, the weekly Show & Tell moved from the sim of Lummerland to Avaria (Home of Grendel’s).  Change is always hard, usually negative, but the diehard Show & Tell enthusiasts moved to the new sim. There were the usual grumbles; “It’s not like it used to be!” However, most of the people moved with the move, and the Show & Tell continued.

   I used to go to the event with Tiny HIckman (a giant dragon), Kumi Kuhr (not around much now), and other avatars who are gone or deceased. One day, in 2008, I was startled by the bell of an IM, and it was from a person I did not know. Areal Loonie is a funny but awful name, especially because I am a mental health professional, but their comment was intriguing. My profile, at that time, spoke about my love of canals, and Areal was asking me why I was interested in canals. We chatted about that during the show, and I thought nothing of it. Of  course I cammed over to see that his avatar was a black bat, and that was interesting and different.

   I started to realize that he—it turned out he was a he—had been coming to Show & Tell for way longer than I had, and we continued to chat. I told him about my secret build of a canal and lock that was based on the Paris Canal St. Martin. He got very excited and one thing led to another, and he visited. In the meantime, Lomgren Smalls, a teeny tiny cat from The Relay for Life Redheads team, was graciously adapting the Second Life Railroad script so it could be used for the canal.

BUILDING SIMS, BUILDING A RELATIONSHIP

Over time Areal and I chatted more and more and began to share experiences in Second Life and just talking on Skype.  From 2008 to 2014 we collaborated on three sim builds, all of them with canals on the sims of Purple, Lakeville and Campello (see photos).

We fought a lot. We had a lot of very similar ideas about what we wanted to build, but we also disagreed on a lot of things. I was much more social than Areal, and ended up having to go to a lot of events without him, but we always ended up chatting together in the end. We also fought over jealousies and other relationships. Looking back, from 2023, this was all so stupid, and we laughed at how silly we had been.

HIGH FIDELITY

In 2014, Philip Rosedale started High Fidelity, another Virtual World that relied on VR technology, and had a blockchain financial system. Philip is always ahead of his time, and Areal and I jumped from Second Life to High Fidelity and spent a number of years there until it eventually closed in 2018.  In May of 2016 High Fidelity held a Hackathon in San Francisco, and Areal and I met for the first time in first life. We had a wonderful time, and actually took a side trip to Palo Alto. I returned to San Francisco, and we spent days together.

While in High Fidelity we continued to build together and to learn about Physically Based Rendering (PBR) of objects that allowed them to respond to light like objects in the real world.  

Surprisingly, PBR is coming to Second Life eventually!

TO THE PRESENT

After High Fidelity died we went to Vircadia and Overte, and TivoliVR, three open source virtual worlds based on the High Fidelity code, but neither of these was very enticing.  

I became super angry with Areal when he refused to join Discord, so that we could communicate. Very few of the people we knew in virtual worlds were using Skype any more and his stubborness about joining Discord irked me to the point I broke off communication with him. For an entire year we did not speak to each other at all. I would see him in Overte and Vircadia, but we did not chat. The whole time this was going on I missed him so much and felt so sad.

RECONCILIATION

After about a year he spoke directly to me in voice in Overte and I answered him. I found out he was now on Discord, and he DMed me and friended me. We began to chat again and began building again in Overte. It was as if we had never stopped talking with each other. We went back to Second Life from time to time and went to Overte and VIrcadia (TivoliVR had closed). We started to collaborate on a build Areal (by this time calling himself Twa in virtual worlds) had started of downtown Paris and the subway system. I had my own build of a canal, of course, and we collaborated on that. In addition to virtual worlds we often played a sandbox zombie survival game: Seven Days to Die.  

We planned to get together again, but then COVID had other plans. However, we spoke every single day from two to six hours a day, depending on our schedules.

THE END

About six months ago Areal, a heavy smoker, went for a full-body scan and they found a mass in his lungs. By February 2nd of 2023 he had died of complications following lung surgery. Luckily, I had contact with some of his family memebers, so I was able to know of his condition.  Throughout his recovery we “spoke” on FaceTime, although he had to write on a pad, because the ventilator prevented him from speaking. It was as if we had come full circle, relying on chat again.

We had just begun to make plans to live together finally. I had retired from my job, and he was already retired. We talked about the details of merging our four cats and about me, a lifelong New Yorker, living in California. I was happy about this. Old age had softened our rough edges and we were very companiable.  

We met in Second Life and together we built a good life. Our story is not dissimilar from many others in the Metaverse. It continues to demonstrate the great power of connection between humans despite the way in which it manifests. 

Rest in Peace, Areal Loonie. 

DrFran

Friday, February 21, 2020

SLife And Times: Two Sides of Banned For Being Furry


By Bixyl Shuftan

For most clubs in Second Life, it's not a big deal what you look like as long as you can fit through the door and behave yourself, especially if you tip. Being the lone furry or tiny at a mostly human club, or the sole human in a venue of furries might get you a few odd glances, but it's my experience seldom is anyone rude about it. If there's a contest that night, you might actually get a few extra votes and win as you're instantly recognized.

But as most people in Second Life know, eventually you're going to run into someone who has a problem with your looks. This was the case of one furry friend of mine whom was invited to a venue by it's hostess, and got booted because the rules of the place stated only human avatars were permitted, "I was sent an invite, to a club, only to get told I have to leave for being ME!" His name was an obvious clue to his avatar, "She KNOWS I'm furry. What the frack would someone knowing I'm no human invite me for?" He was furious, "I want to go back and torch that f**king club." But once he had a moment to calm down, suggested I try to get the point of view of the hostess, if she was willing, if I was going to write about the event. He did admit that the word "human" was in the invitation he'd gotten, but didn't realize it until after he came back from being away from keyboard pressed the "accept" button to the teleport request, so the part about it being a human event had faded away after several seconds before his return.

Contacting the woman in question, once she heard her name wouldn't be mentioned in anything written she only asked that the article be objective, "This is an important subject, I think." She was tired though, and trying to set up a time eventually we settled for answering questions by notecard. She had first met the fur in question through friends and had a positive first impression. Where she was hosting that night was in a formal ballroom, "In the ballroom it is clear that it is humans only. On the rest of the sim, everyone is welcome as long as they are covered. Not only is it clear in all the literature, the TP I sent that ******* took was very clear. To wit: '? I'm hosting at romantic *** **** ****** 2-4 PM w/ DJ _________, International Romantic Music. Join us? FORMAL, HUMAN?'"

She described the situation after the fur in question showed up, "I knew as soon as he landed as a furry that he was in violation of the venue's policy but there was no pressure. As host, I was in charge of dress code violations (DCV). One of the owners was there, as was the manager. They were very relaxed, both welcomed him in local chat, as did I, calling him my friend." She told me she decided to do nothing as long as no one complained, "****** was there for over an hour before anything was said about him violating dress code. ... The owner responded that Raccoon was my friend and that I would take care of it. ... When the guest complained, I reiterated that he was my friend and posted some comments I always make in support of furries when I see exclusion. One is, 'Did you know RL furries donated 12 Million to charitable causes last year?' ... I had to apologize to him on IM and remind him it was a human only ballroom. I have many furrie friends and always feel badly when they are excluded though I know from speaking with them that they are used to it. I also respect that each venue has a right to design and run things as they choose. My responsibility is to abide by the rules and in some instances, enforce them."

She would go on to say that avatar discrimination happened in other places in Second Life, "There are many exclusions in SL. Children are not allowed some places, non-human AVs, pregnant AVs, collared AVs, or particle emitters, for instance. As a woman, I am excluded some places. Sometimes it for dress, like 'must be nude.' I've been ejected from venues for non-compliance with that rule."

The way she saw it, the fur had fair warning, "He had notice before coming that it was human only so he chose to come as a furrie. He and I chatted, we all enjoyed the event, no one said anything until one of the guests complained." She did acknowledge that he was booted by the owner instead of being allowed to walk out on his own accord, "He said he would leave rather than create drama. Then he posted other's text in local chat, creating drama, disrupting the event, and violating TOS."

That last detail was the one big difference between how the two persons described the event. Talking to the fur later, he told me he never posted any IM conversation out in the open, "I have transcripts of everything." He also stated he was there for less than a minute before being asked to change. As mentioned earlier, he did admit to accepting the teleport request before noticing the word "human" in the invitation, but he had been away from computer, and the notice about it being a human event had already faded.

The hostess did have some final words, "We have the perfect opportunity to make something positive of this unfortunate incident. My personal philosophies and practices are to celebrate diversity and promote inclusion. When we were planning the .... Clinic, some administrators wanted furries excluded but acceded to my argument on why they and everyone should be welcome. The salient points here are that being an activist can be noble, valuable, and serve the greater good. There are ways to be an effective advocate and ways to hurt your cause. ******'s behavior in this instance gave all those there valid reasons to exclude furries, setting back rather than helping. If you feel furries (or any group) is excluded, make a valid and rational case for why this should be reconsidered. I have shared a few of the points I use. Respect the venues. They have no obligation to follow any course other than their mission or business plan. If the venue is considerate enough to state an exclusion policy so there is no surprise, be grateful. Speak privately to the owners if you would like them to reconsider their policy. If you wanted to be respected and treated well, act that way toward others."

The idea of being grateful and respectful in the face of being given the boot is likely to be too much for many of my fellow furs in Second Life to ask for. They are very proud of their looks, and will see exclusion as an insult to who and what they are. A historic RP area such as 1920s Berlin they can usually let slide as the idea is to make it as close to the history books as it was. But a venue that's purely for entertainment such as the infamous "Frank's Place" that sees a furry avatar as the equivalent to ragged jeans and a t-shirt at a high-class establishment, that viewpoint is seen as a pile of waste matter.

Looking at the hostess' comment about "exclusions" one way, it could be seen as saying discrimination is a part of Second Life, and there's nothing that can be done about it. But looking at it another, it could be seen as saying not allowing someone into a club just because they're furry (or because they're not) is as justifiable as saying women are only allowed in if they're naked without anything covering their private parts.

While the Newser has written about this kind of situation in the past on occasion, fortunately, this kind of incident is rare. The amount of time I've been asked to leave a place because of my having a furry avatar can be counted on one hand after over thirteen years here. I've been to high class places with first rate musicians that while asking me to be neatly dressed didn't have a problem with my avatar. One investigation of a place in which someone was thrown out for having a nonhuman avatar revealed that there was a nonhuman on the staff and the incident was likely the result of a hostess' inexperience. Of those who prefer human avatars, most would rather be in places where they can invite their friends. One SL church operated for months with a number of furs in it's flock before getting a new pastor whom then insisted on "keeping it real" and telling the parish human avatars only. The majority of people, humans and furs alike, left.

So while this sort of thing does happen once in a while, it shouldn't define our Second Lives. It's best to take ourselves, and our tip money, to places that appreciate our company.

Addition: It turned out that the hostess had no problem with her name being given.

Bixyl Shuftan

Monday, January 21, 2019

How Second Life Makes Life Better For A Disabled Person


By Deaflegacy

Hello, everyone!  My name is DeafLegacy.  As per my name, I am deaf.  I have been deaf since birth.  I have managed to do just fine when my Mom learned sign language.  I was a lucky woman to have my Mom, who knew sign language.  Unfortunately, I lost her in 2013.  I miss her very much.

I came to Second Life three years and five months ago.  Someone mentioned Second Life, and that caught my attention.  At first, I was a shy person, using a female human avatar.  I wasn't sure how to get more Lindens.  As days went by, I started to know more about this virtual world.  For one, I know now how to get more Linden dollars, from winning contests, to Second Life jobs, or buying them with real money.  I do that once a month to make sure that my lots are paid for.

I find this amazing that when I first started using Second Life, I moved into an apartment on Cape Heron.  I have had two apartments but not at the same time.  I would remember my old living spaces with fondness.  When I was living in an apartment, I would be looking at houses on the parcels, and wanted to live on a parcel.  One day, I got parcels.  I can't say how many parcels I got because for some reasons, it's not right.  So I would just say that one day, I got some parcels, and ever since then, I have been making sure that I pay the rent.

Why am I telling you this?  Well, I can give you a few reasons.  I can tell you that I was lucky in finding Virtual Ability, which is a group for people with disabilities.  They have been there for me ever since I have been a member.  I can also tell you about writing for the SL Newser.  I was so happy when Bixyl Shuftan hired me.  I can definitely tell you that my desire to write never stops growing, even though I have a disability. I mean, when it comes to writing, who cares about the writer's disabilities?  We care about what the writer is writing about.

Second Life had helped me out a great deal since the day I signed up.  I have no regret in joining Second Life, and I hope to continue on as a member of Second Life.  In a way, thanks to Second Life, I'm now a writer, and I got lucky to have a partner, Six String (roleplayismylife).  I love Six String very much.

Thank you, Second Life, in giving me many chances.  I will never forget that.

Deaflegacy

Friday, March 9, 2018

SLife and Times: Instant Judgement Misconceptions


By Bixyl Shuftan

You've probably seen these kinds of people in real life, people who make instant judgments about an entire group of people just because they saw one bad thing one single individual of the group, and assumed this was how they all acted. Sometimes, it's as a joke, such as people talking about "all New Yorkers." And then there's when someone makes a blanket statement about "all Second Life users" or a certain part of it's fanbase. While some of the comments I've heard were made in jest, such as those saying men dating here really need a trip to a real-life strip bar, others are more bitter. The latter are often for highly exaggerated or outright false reasons.

Some months ago, someone sent me an angry message on Facebook. He was furious at me for promoting "a sick and twisted" form of entertainment. I responded that I had no idea he was talking about. He then sent me a link for something on Marketplace. The image was something so obscene, I can't even place a picture of it here with black bars. "Why aren't you writing about this?"

I gave a two-part response. One: I had never heard of this particular kind of product, or anything like it in Marketplace before. Two: It was my experience that very few, if any, of the hundreds of thousands of active residents would have any interest in this kind of depravity. Second Life did have it's adult side, I admitted, but I had never seen this level of obscenity there. I went on to say that while Second Life did have it's adult side, so does real life. And I had no desire to report on strip clubs and brothels any more than my local newspaper and the nightly news.

My attempt at reason didn't seem to have any affect on this man, whom angrily accused me of covering up the "truth." He would post on his Facebook page about this obscene virtual good as a typical example about how Second Life was a place where people went to exercise the most deprived of sexual fantasies. While tempted to respond, I felt the best thing to do was to ignore the angry rant and just let it die.

I thought back to when Second Life was mentioned much more in mainstream and tech media. At first, it was praised as the latest thing. But later on, what would be mentioned were the tales of cyber affairs while the stories about people creating art, the disabled finding ways to express themselves, and people getting together to raise charity were practically ignored. One friend of mine in those days called it an unfortunate fact of human nature, "It is so much easier to sell a story when it is controversial than when it is constructive." So it seems some people find it easier to believe the worst about the new and the different.

I was reminded about this more recently when at a club with a few friends. It had a mixed furred and normal human crowd. In the "after-party," following the official event, I was among those who hung around with a few friends, chatting about goings on. Then we saw someone come in. He was a newcomer, which was not very unusual in itself was the club occasionally gets them, and another had appeared earlier in the evening. But he began making remarks, asking if the human patrons were in danger of being eaten by the furry ones. At first, everyone thought he was joking, and went along with it, chuckling. But he wasn't laughing.

I messaged the guy, asking what was going on. He stated he was on "furry patrol," going to various places in Second Life with them. I asked what was the purpose, and he told me that the first furry place he went to, a wolf had roleplayed trying to eat him. Freaked out, he fired his weapon at him, and left the sim. So he was going from place to place that catered to furs to try to "protect" anyone in human avatars there.  Apparently he had come across the "vore" sim which caters to strange fantasy roleplay about creatures swallowing other creatures alive. This sort of thing isn't confined to Second Life. One girl I knew in real life wrote a story about a naga character, a snakelike creature in myth, that would once in a great while attack and devour alive someone who tried to harm her friends. This sort of thing is regarded as weird by most furs and normal humans in Second Life alike, one joking he found the concept "hard to swallow." But he seemed to have gotten the impression all of those who took on a nonhuman look were into that sort of thing.

So I told the newcomer that, saying most in furred avatars considered what he encountered just as strange as he did. I don't recall him giving me much of an answer, so I thought that might have convinced him nonhuman avatars weren't always out to get him. Later on, I did consider the possibility this might have been a troll alt whom was looking for people to offend, and seeing cooler heads decided to move on. But the trolls I've run into are usually more persistent.

Fortunately most people I've run into when it comes to Second Life are fairly open-minded. But it seems there's always a few whom jump to a wrong conclusion over a single incident, and act on it. Sometimes they'll reconsider when given new information. But some seem to be too close-minded to change their opinion.

Bixyl Shuftan

Friday, October 6, 2017

SLife and Times: Banned For Looking Odd


By Bixyl Shuftan

For my furry friends at the Sunweaver/Angels community and elsewhere, one of their pet peeves is being harassed or banned about their appearance when they go out looking at different places and clubs. Some consider it common to the point they'll hang out only at places they know have other furs or call themselves "furry friendly."  Grease Coakes wrote about his experience, and I've written on the topic myself. Personally, I've found it a rare experience, though still annoying.

So it got my attention when a "coconuteater" wrote on "Blog Veridical" about being banned at a club "within three seconds of my avatar entering the building." He Instant-Messaged the owner, "Hello, why am I banned?" The owner's answer was, "I smell a lot of trouble, and I'm not up to it today." "Do you think I'm a griefer or something?" "So you think I'm an idiot?" While he didn't give his account name, he did show his appearance. This was a human avatar, but it was oddly porportioned, with a huge chest with wide shoulders, tiny arms, and big ears. He was also barefoot.

There were a number of comments after a link to the article was posted on the "Second Life Friends" group in Facebook. Some offered sympathy. Some suggested he simply go to a different club, "Shallow sl saddens me this is what it comes down to judging by a persons looks shame on all of them." "Even pixels get judged these days........sad times." Some were saying he needed to update his looks, "Thats the lesson here.. leave those noob looks back in the past where they belong. this is 2017 .. not 2005 .. noob feet ( AKA Duckfeet ) are out.. Noob hands out. block head.. out. layer clothing.. dead as dust." "If we were friends I'd strongly encourage you to improve appearance. You don't have to have a mesh body. ,,, Put some effort into making the visual experience more realistic or at least show you care about what you look like."

Others were saying his odd appearance was the kind favored by griefers, "I definitely think 'troll' seeing this avatar. ... you know what they say, first impressions matter." "I cant help but feel your intentions were to stir the pot, everyone knows that extreme noob looks are usually a griefers preferred appearance. If it was my club and i saw you come in looking like that, i would also be atleast worried drama was coming." "i have to admit u look like alot of the griefers ,j\s. nothing aginst u. jus really u look like a griefer" "If you've been in Second Life for more than a couple of years, and have been to clubs or gatherings - you KNOW that many (not all) griefers like to drastically deform their avies to look crazy. You know this. So if you're not a noob, why would you drastically deform yourself to look like a griefer? Come on now. Keep it real. People who've been griefed are going to have their guard up and when you manage a CLUB, you MUST keep a lookout for people who look every bit like a griefer. You don't wait for them to do it. ..." "That avatar looks like a classic griefer avatar."

And a few were saying yes, it did look like the stereotypical troll avatar, but avatars like these they encountered weren't always that. "That being said a lot of people have used this game to bully and harass people in a certain manner. You can understand why some people are so quick to judge, but it should really be by your actions not how you look." "There was a time when the 'different' avatars were the ones with big boobs, tans, perfect hair and giant pectorals. The avatars that people consider 'griefer' avatars were once the far, far more common avatar you'd see on the grid. Insisting on looking 'different' *is* a choice. Some people don't want to look like a cookie cutter copy of someone else's distorted notion of perfection, or acceptability. They just want to express themselves. Your comment reminds me of how outcasts were treated by the popular crowd in high school. As long as people don't act out, or have an avatar emitting giant Bill Cosbys, I say let them be. Even if you have had a rough day, ejecting people just because of their appearance is lazy."

One comment got my attention, "What it comes down to is how much time you are willing to put in to growing your group and making it a place for all... last night I had a potential griefer on my sim (1 day old, dressed like it and a naughty word name). So I TPed to him and asked him how he was doing... it took me a short ten minute conversation to find out that A) he was new and B) he was really liking SL... I made a friend, not a potential enemy down the road. A**hattery like the club owner pulled will make more enemies than friends...if you don't have an enemy before you ban someone, you usually do when after you do... in this case, an enemy that will post about you on his blog."

About the only thing most agreed upon was ultimately "his sim, his rules." Even those who sided with the writer, there was an admittance he was within rights to do what he did. They just felt he shouldn't have.

This isn't quite the same as the situation furs and other fantasy/sci-fi avatars such as faries and elves, who can spent plenty of time on their looks. But still, it brings to mind the old story of those who are different being singled out and being told they are not welcome.

Do you the readers have any stories of your own, or stories about handling someone new who stood out?

Scources: Blog Veridical , Facebook

Bixyl Shuftan

Friday, August 7, 2015

SLife and Times: A Thursday in Second Life


By Grease Coakes
 
In the real world I work for Royal Farms stocking the soda cooler among various other grunt jobs. I can’t complain if my job gives me paid vacation. My boss named Mary to protect her real life identity was nice enough to give me a week of paid vacation during the summer. Now that I have been at Royal Farms two years I have two weeks of paid vacation. So today I wanted to write what I was doing in Second Life. 
 
I started in Shadowquine Maltz’s Ark which is one of Second Life oldest clubs for furries about 4:30am SLT which is 7:30am for me. http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Quarabia/96/128/501 When I first discovered there was clubs for furries in Second life when I was a month old or so The ark (Like Noah and the ark saving animals from the great flood.) It happened to be the ark and at the time I was amazed of seeing a club of only furries when before I was hanging in human clubs not knowing about clubs like the ark. Keep in mind I was a newbie so I had no idea what second life was so I was still exploring around. 
 
The theme of the Ark is anything goes so don’t be surprised if you see adult goings on there. For example I was talking with a vixen in skimpy clothing just being friendly about tattoos and something in her profile on one of the dance poles.
 
I happened to run into Stimpy Tripp an old bear of Second Life that I see around now and again. I remember seeing him at Second Life’s 12th birthday when I djed. He’s also one of Rita Mariner’s Sunweavers. Another friend I ran into was Zebrathingy Heyse AKA Zee. When Anthroxtacy or AX was alive and well we’d go see the same DJ Aurora Avila a few times a week.
 
The DJ Raven Twang had a cool outfit at first I thought we was the dragoon character from Final Fantasy 8. But he corrected me and said, "If any influence for this character is attributed, it would be Mat Cauthon from Wheel of Time. The outfit I’m wearing is not so much the dragoon but based on Mat’s medieval fantasy attire."
 
I myself have read the Wheel of time written by the late Robert Jordan and it’s beyond words describing how epic the fourteen book series is. Mat Cauthon is one of the main characters as one of three childhood friends who are destined to fight what they call the Dark One. Mat is a trickster and always has a smile to charm women. I won’t say more than that except to start the series read Eye Of The World.
 
Shortly afterwards I went to a 500 word dash at Milk Wood (71/59/22), where’s it twice a day 6am SLT and 6pm SLT Monday through Friday. It’s a writing exercise to write 500 words in fifteen minutes based upon a word.
 
Deva (Deva Westland), a faerie, teased me and said as I lag walked and ended up walking on a table, "You know, you can walk around the table, Grease.... hehe."

Deva wrote a scene of a faerie mother having children making sure her small son didn’t wander into danger by entangling his ankle in a vine. Doyle, who writes stories of war, wrote a fantasy theme about a general asking for merchants for supplies despite the high risk.

Raindrops (Gwen Enchanted): wrote about a famous man Tam Lin who is a ballad and here’s what she said, "Tam Lin is a very famous magical ballad. He's a man captured by the Queen of the Faeries, who's saved by an ingenue named either Fair Janet or Lady Margaret, depending on which version of the ballad you know." Arte or Artemis wrote a poem about snugging Doyle cookies and kittens and puppies.
 
I wrote about one my characters doing something terrible, so she is forever banned from someone’s restaurant. Shannon hit Narcosis several times giving her a bloody nose and a black eye. Narcosis offered no resistance as Shannon cursed and yelled at her for endangering herself and her diner and friends.
 
I took a break in real life to eat some cereal and apples and then I come back to Second Life, and seeing nothing of note in my notices I go to the  IYC which is short for International Yiff Center at IYC Addictions (221/62/3001) . I also see Tantari Kim is online so I im her saying hi. She tells me she is applying to the Ark as a dj. She has a library of sets preplanned with different themes like MLP and "Still Alive" which centers around a single song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TERyxFfMqDk called Still Alive by Lisa Miskovsky. I showed Tantari Kim the famous blue vixen this song from electric mudkip.
 
Tantari was nice enough to warp me to Citrus Cove (164/153/2487). an adult sim called Fox Haven Furry City East. Tantari commented it was a nice sim with nice people I mentioned it made me think of Metropolis, Superman’s home, or any other major city. Tantari and I chitchatted about this and that.
 
A little later I took another break in real life, did some laundry and bought a beer and came back logging into the“I Love the 80’s club” at Gecko Isles (215/81/22). I hung out and chilled to Zack Coberts DJing. Everyone was joking that lag was ruining their day and that lag doesn’t exist in SL. I asked the pretty lady Lunavae Longfall to slow dance with me she said sure and I just relaxed and had a good time. There were a couple furries there, not just me. Furries aren’t just staying in furry clubs anymore they come to human clubs now and again watch out humans!
 
I took another break for an hour and played Guild Wars 2, but before I find a LM from Xavier’s A List about some LM that showcases live music. I go to Lionheart Ahadi (121/214/3201). and hear a Zen Arado play ambient music that’s unique and very mellow. In the same sim Tip Corbett came after Zen Arado play live piano music. His live playing was amazing to listen to soothe my soul.
 
Later on 1:30pm SLT I see a notice about a spiritual discussion at New Paris (33/42/22). I warp over to a place called Nirvana Island.RobertDuke Drascol led the spiritual discussion over voice chat with a few other avatars. He was saying to forget ideas of the material world and ignore your ego and listen to your higher self instead. I had tried to leave to see my friend Skunk Mantra Fox Techno (Fox Fraxture) at his DJ set however Robert Duke asked me to stay and make comments about what he was talking about.
 
I stayed until Robertduke said it was time to go. Then I visited Fox Fraxture at Furnication (189/199/27)  and heard his mix of house and techno. I mentioned that he gave me one of his songs that you can hear in my soundcloud mix SL12B called Thouse Paws Up. It has lots of organ sounds and bass booms.
 
A few days ago Amehana Arashi (Amehana Ishtari) and I agreed to meet on Thursday at 4pm SLT for a tarot reading you might recognize the name as she read at Nisa sometimes (the ponydale sim.) She charges a fair price of 300L. I ponied up the cash and asked her where should I look for a publisher for my stories? Amehana suggested look at the local library and perhaps a librarian will help me and suggested to play fair with the editor.
 
At the end Amehana had this to say
 
Elemental Balance:
2 major arcana
1 pentacle
1 wand
1 sword
 
The forces at work here are more spiritual/karmic than material. Physical work is necessary as always, but a good deal of what will be of benefit will only be gained through relationships, the give and take.
Last but not least of about eight months or so of working every thrusday night I go to see Aurora Avila at club midi at Bikini Bay (59/174/1006).
 
One of the club owners,Sky Gunawan, has this to say about Aurora, "Heya everyone~ busy night again. Aurora, you're always bringing in a crowd." Aurora Avila answered, "I can't say I have any complaints about that! ❤"
I asked Aurora a silly question, "Hey if samus aran fought a dragon or two who do you think would win?" She answered, "Samus fights a dang dragon all the time. Ridley just keeps happening. (laughter), so she fights dragons anyway."
 
As per usual everyone has a great time listening to Aurora’s songs based upon video games and dancing the night away. Aurora even called me a Tippyfox for sending tips her way to her "?" block with the mushroom on top. A little later Keesar Cushing one of the dj managers from Anthroxtacy came to say hi Aurora as well as Zee a long time fan of Aurora’s music.
 
It was an excellent Thursday in Second Life and I did a lot. It was fun to share this day with you readers of the Second Life Newser.

Grease Coakes