The Valentine Interview - Part 2

By Mylie Foxclaw

This is the second part of the Valentine’s interview.  The basics are simple.  I have asked 6 women the same questions that I asked the men in part one.  If you wish to read the first part, you will find it here (link).

The first question was about the type of person that would be ideal.  One common quality was intelligence and a good sense of humour but each woman was highly descriptive about her ideal person.  A.A (Lady 1) wants someone confident that can convey intense and realistic emotions and who has a good sense of humour.  C.R (Lady 2) feels that someone trustworthy would be great.  She also adds that she dislike possessive and jealous persons.  J.B (Lady 3), like A.A, wants someone intelligent and funny.  An opinion also shared by R.M (Lady 4) who adds that the ideal person should also show how much he enjoys being with her and he must be a true romantic.  F.R (Lady 5) mentions that a good sense of humour is an important quality and specifies “not someone who just laughs pointlessly at everything.”  T.K (lady 6) believes that a good person is one important quality and adds that “Someone who's also a vulpine or near canine would be perfect.”

Next, I asked each lady about their ideal place for a SL romantic date.  A.A feels that a restaurant or piano bar would be nice.  C.R likes forests, beaches or coffee shops.  J.B talks about a dance at an exclusive club where she is a member and has many friends.  R.M enjoys ballroom spots like Phat Cat’s or Bogarts.  F.R says that she would not like generic places but rather opt for something that has meaning for both herself and her ideal sl valentine.  T.K specifies that she loves cozy cuddle places which are calm, secluded and close to nature.

The third question was about their ideal gift.  A.A immediately responded “his heart”.  C.R specifies that a teddybear and a kiss would be nice but if the person could spend time with her and snuggle, it would be perfect.  J.B would like a volcano tub.  R.M mentions jewellery, perfume or lingerie before adding that going to a romantic sport together to spend some quality time would be a nice gift. 

When asked if they thought that red was a must for Valentine’s day, A.A says no before adding that “I don´t think it is about the color, it is a feeling deep inside; and i truly believe that valentine is only special with somebody who means something to you ... a flirt is not enough.”  C.R points out that red is generic, something that F.R seems to agree on.  R.M thinks that it is not a must.  To her, Red is“anytime   you’re feeling   a bit passionate and fiery.”  T.K comments that one should wear what they want before adding that red is classic and she finds that red and blue work great together.  As for J.B, she thinks that Red is a must and that any shade or red is pretty.

The next question was about what they would wear for Valentine’s day.  J.B has immediately described the outfit she has bought this Valentine’s day.  She is extremely eager and excited to wear it.  It’s a color combination of red and black.  A.A thinks that the outfit would depend on where her date would be taking her, an opinion shared by F.R.  C.R simply said that her outfit would depend on her mood.  R.M mentioned lingerie and anything red.    T.K believes that the outfit also depends on where the relationship stands and specifies that “If we're just getting to know each other, it might be something sexy ment to impress.  If we've been dating for a while, perhaps something more comfortable.  As for colors, black and red look good with blue fur.”

Finally, I asked them if they had anything to say about Valentine’s day.  A.A thinks that “for somebody who is in love - any day is valentine’s day ....”  C.R says that “Well it’s Valentine’s day.  It’s great to enjoy it with someone special.  But it’s a nightmare for single people I think!“  J.B talks about her current relationship, “well this  will be my first one with my living in boyfriend so I’m very much looking forward to it and we’ve been together for 6 weeks aprox.”  R.M sends her wishes to everyone, “Happy VDay to all  the lovers a  lovers  to be!”  F.R mentions that “my original rez day was just a couple days before it?”  T.K also wised everyone and had a smart piece of advice, “I wish you all friendship and love.  Remember that love comes and goes, but if you're best friends with your mate, then it'll last.  That's the secret!”

This sums up the Valentine’s interview.  I hope you found some interesting SL facts and more through this.

Mylie Foxclaw

The Valentine Interview - Part 1

By Mylie Foxclaw

As Valentine’s Day is approaching, I thought of interviewing a few persons to learn more about how they felt about Valentine’s Day and romance in Second Life.  If this first part, I interviewed 6 male residents at random and asked them 5 questions.  Responses were interesting and amusing in some instances.  Let’s see what these SL residents had to say.  I’m using only their initials when I will refer to their personal opinions.

First, I asked each guy to tell me about the type of person who would be an ideal date.  Overall, they all believe that a good-natured person would be perfect.  Someone smart and good-natured.  Of course, each guy also has his own qualities as well.  A.L (Guy 1) believes that that person should not be jealous.  He also adds that he likes women who are open-minded and do not limit themselves to one guy.  R.C (guy 2) thinks that someone who is naughty and argumentative would be perfect.  G.H (guy 3) also likes those who are open-minded.  S.B (guy 4) wants someone who has common interests.  J.L (guy 5) and S.R (guy 6) told me that they like those who can carry a good conversation.

Next, I asked each guy about their ideal place to go if they have a date.  A.L and J.L both opt for romantic outdoor themed places (forests, beaches,etc).  S.R and G.H think that ballrooms would be perfect.  S.B told me that he’s like a colourful sim with low lag and R.C told me that his ideal place would be a creepy themed sim like Netherwood. 

Concerning the ideal gift, responses were interesting.  A.L told me that the perfect gift would be for his woman to share him with another woman.  R.C said that for him, “something either black, rusty metal, bloody, creepy, or any combination of the 4” would be great.  G.H thinks that a new outfit would be cool.  J.L does not want any special gifts but a greeting card for valentine’s day would be nice.  S.B wants to hear a joke that would make him laugh for hours.  S.R did not have any ideal gift. 

When I asked each guy if Red was a must for Valentine’s day, most of them said no.  R.C added that red is boring to him for Valentine’s day.  S.R feels that it is a tradition to wear red but it’s not compulsory.    However, G.H thinks it’s a must. 

When I asked them about what they would wear for Valentine’s day, S.R told me that he would opt for a Tuxedo. G.H would also wear a Tuxedo specially for a ballroom date and opt for a red tie. S.B also mentioned a red tie before jokingly adding that he would dress like Tarzan.  I suppose a Tarzan outfit and a red tie would be an interesting combination.  R.C stated that a black dress shirt or a black tuxedo would be his choice of outfit.  As for A.L he says his birthday suit is perfect… J.L does not have any special outfit preference for Valentine’s day.  He would just be himself. 

Finally I asked them if they had anything to add.  J.L says that “one should take time to acknowledge the day and show some kind of gesture.”  S.R thinks that “its a special day just to show someone you care.”  G.H mentioned that he loved someone a lot.  R.C humorously stated that “Hmmm. That we also need an M Day, that is just about giving muffins.” And I definitely agree with him!  As for S.B,  he simply said, “Make love not war ...”  And, A.L had a lot to say, “really though, surveys consistently show that Valentine's day is more stressful to men, more dreaded than a dentist visit because there's a lot of pressure.  what do I get her? where do I take her? what do I say?  we just want it to be over.”

So, I believe we learned a few interesting things from these guys.  See you next time to find out how girls think Valentine’s day.  

Mylie Foxclaw

Ask DrFran: Caught Between Two Worlds

By DrFran Babcock

Dear DrFran: I have a feeling what I am going to tell you is not uncommon, but I haven’t seen it yet in your column so I thought I would bring it up.

I am a long time Second Life resident, and I joined originally because my kids are grown, my husband works long hours, and I don’t really enjoy the stuff that other women my age are into in their daily lives. Sharing recipes and talking about clothes is just not as exciting to me as building castles and raising Lindens for the American Cancer Society. My creativity is expressed in the things I make here, and although I have usually given them away for free, or donated them for charity events, I am fulfilled by what I do.

My question for you begins during last year’s Relay for Life events, when a newcomer joined our old and established team for the first time. His avatar was a very handsome male, and he almost always wore suits, and took pains with his appearance. His building and scripting skills added a dimension to our team camp that really struck a high note for the team. As one of the main landscapers and vendor monitors for the team we were together often while planning out and working on things. We chatted amiably for a few weeks, neither of us revealing any personal information—until we started to share. That was when I noticed I was starting to have feelings for him. For the first time I didn’t feel sorry for myself that my husband, a surgeon, was rarely around. Max, as I will call him, was a professional (keeping some details vague here), and lived in another continent from me.  I kept our conversation light, despite my growing sense of intimacy, and worked hard not to let him know I was falling for him.

A few days before Relay opened officially, we were at one of the many pre-RFL parties, and he asked me to dance. While we were dancing, he asked me in I had voice, and for the first time we chatted in voice while we danced. I had never been so entranced, or so engaged in Second Life. I still tried not to let on about my feelings for him. His English was flawless, but his slight accent was a thrill to me. We talked and talked, and before I knew it my husband was home, so I logged.

From then on, no matter what we were doing, building, at a meeting, planning to run Relay, etc., we were in voice, talking and talking. He started to make statements related to having me come to visit him. I still had no idea what he looked like, nor did he know what I looked like. That didn’t seem to matter, because our friendship had been built on talking and sharing, and that seemed to get more intense and revealing each day. Finally, in what by this time was no surprise, he told me that he cared about me as more than just a friend. My heart literally leapt out of my chest, and out of my mouth poured all the things I had been holding inside. We were like two kids jumping up and down with joy. To this day it’s the highlight of my emotional life.

From that day on, Max and I have been inseparable. We have shared everything about our stories, our lives, and all our little secrets. He wanted me to come to his continent to visit. We now knew what each other looked like, and we were even more in love. When I had to log out I would feel empty and alone. I was happy that my husband was never around.

Finally, I decided to go visit Max for a week when my husband left for two weeks for a medical conference in Houston. I knew he would never know I was gone, because he rarely calls, and with my cell phone it would not matter.

Suffice it to say that Max and I hit it off better than I even imagined. I went home to my husband, dejected and missing Max. Since then Max has been begging me to come back and live with him. Now, Max not a rich man, like my husband, but I love him. I am so tormented. Should I leave my husband for this man, Max?  Undecided

Dear Undecided: I wonder why you have written to me, when it seems that you have already made up your mind? That said, I do have opinions, my opinions, on the subject of infidelity, love, and choices.

I am not a fan of infidelity. I understand just how easy it is to be attracted to someone other than the person with whom you are married, but it speaks to a lack of commitment and integrity. However, I am not judging. It does seem as if Max is way more attentive than your husband, who seems most like a good provider, and nothing more.

True love is something that is very rare to find. In Second Life we often form very close and intimate relationships, because lacking the visuals, we have to communicate verbally. We can’t fall into bed with someone and develop the relationship after (note: We can virtually, but that is a different thing. ).
By the way, you didn’t say whether or not you slept with Max when you visited, but that would serve to make the relationship stronger. Did you know that lovemaking releases chemicals that make women desire their man even more strongly? (How Oxytocin Works )

Let me address the question of making decisions, as that will remove me from my obvious bias about fidelity. Undecided, there is a somewhat objective way to decide what to do. Make a list of the pros and cons of each decision. Do not do this in your head, but put it on paper, so you can see it in black and white. Often, this simple task, when completed honestly, can give you the answer you seek.

I wish you luck in your decision, whatever it is. Please keep us posted here about what happens.  Thanks,

DrFran

Obligatory disclaimer: The column Ask DrFran is the work of DrFran Babcock, and may not reflect the views of SL Newser as a whole. Please direct any correspondence to DrFran Babcock. I look forward to hearing from you.

Mystery’s “Masked Lover” Reveals Himself

Since October 2009, The Mystery sim has had someone occasionally sending anonymous love notes, roses, and presents to sim manager Amythe Moonlight. Always sent through newbie avatars, the real source of what sim owner Tygeria Mirabeau called a “wonderful seduction” remained one of the mysteries of Mystery. Occasionally the Don Juan would take a break, but eventually would remind Amy she had an admirer.

On Easter Sunday, April 24 2011, the “Masked Lover” finally revealed himself, after the sim was done with it’s holiday event.

The event had begun innocently enough, innocent that is except for Amy’s “playboy bunny” outfit that had little fabric on it. Debi Latte was back from a hiatus, her first live performance at Mystery in weeks. The top of the deck was filled with Easter decorations, Easter eggs with prizes inside, an “Alice in Wonderland” globe with Alice and the White Rabbit slowly rotated, and while the Easter bunny may not have shown up, a number of people in kani bunny avs (and a lavender wolfess and frog) showed up to dance. It was about halfway into the party in which the familiar evil laughter echoed across the sim, and Bloodrose joined in, asking Amy for a couples’ dance.

Finally, Debi finished her last song, and people began leaving. When there were just a few others left, Bloodrose got Amy’s attention, brought up the “Masked Lover,” and admitted he was him. Amy was shocked, “It was you?! Oh my God!!” Bloodrose gave his characteristic evil laugh, quite proud in the mystery lasting so long. Debi chuckled, and admitted she was in on the big secret, much to Amy's surprise, “Debi? Oh my God! You knew?!” Blood smiled.

The pair danced together a little longer, then when Debi and one of the staff left, they decided to leave as well. And so came an end to Mystery’s most memorable Easter, and the end to the “Mystery of the Masked Lover.”

Bixyl Shuftan