A Cry For Help From Venezuela

By Bixyl Shuftan

Computers and the Internet can bring people together in many ways, online virtual worlds even more so as they give the appearance of being together. This can often mean people learn a little more about each other's societies. But it can also mean an up close and personal view of a big problem overseas that one might be only casually aware of through the newspaper or TV news, if it makes it to the newspaper or TV news at all.

I was exploring a virtual landscape in Second Life a couple nights ago when I got a notecard that had been sent by someone on my contact list: Alejandra Jumanya, or Miss W as she is also known. I had interviewed her last year, as both the owner of a virtual goods store selling outfits for Second Life avatars, and as someone inside an increasingly impoverished and oppressed country in which the money she made online was becoming increasingly important in getting by as the economy in her country crumbled. She had hoped she and her family would make it to the United States in the future.

A year later, she has become more concerned with the short-term survival of her and her daughter.

The notecard she had passed to me, and everyone else on her contact list, read, "Hello my dears, xxxx and I are getting some food at Walmart and shipping them over to Venezuela.  If you wanted to help us, you can do so by giving us a gift card to Walmart or Paypal (xxxxxxxxxxxxxx@hotmail.com).  I feel embarrassed  to ask for donations, but you know the situation here and how difficult it is to get food, also minimum wages here are like $15 a month, so it gets tough.  If you feel inclined to help us, we will be very very grateful!"

Wanting to know more, I instant-messaged her. She was surprised to hear from me and at first wondered if I had taken offense at her request. I told her no and wanted to talk. We met at a location where she had a few of her goods for sale. She continued with her story, "I started to write another notecard a few weeks ago, but I never had the ... bravery to send it. I will copy some parts of the notecard ... which I never finished or sent because I was embarrassed, and my friend said it would be better to do an event. But she is busy and real-life gets in the way.

"I'm not sure if you know, but things here in Venezuela has gotten harder for us (for xxxx and I), the government is imposing us a food redistribution system, that requires us to acquire food from Socialist Party members, it's a way for the government to use food to coerce citizens into supporting it... not only you don't get in the food list if you are not pro-government, but also, those who get the bag, it's a (paid) bag of 1 kg or rice, milk, sugar and pasta every few weeks or months.

"I don't get a (paid) food bag... my neighborhood doesn't anyways, so we are currently forced to buy food through a rations system that forces us to stand on supermarket lines up to twelve hours long (although it's illegal to do food lines at night, so if the police comes, we have to run to our cars and come back to do the line). Often, after 10 or 12 hours through the lines, you find out that the supermarket in question has run out of basic goods like rice, vegetable oil, and milk.

"Controlling food supplies has become increasingly important to or government as riots become more and more common. Last week, in the heart of Caracas, hungry patrons of a local market rioted after seeing a shipment of rice enter the market and almost immediately being told the food had been redistributed to the Bolivarian National Guard (GNB), the troops typically responsible for attacking peaceful anti-government protests. Chanting 'we want food,' a crowd of hundreds began to march towards the presidential palace, halted only by the GNB using tear gas and violent Chavista gangs known as 'colectivos,' attacking both protesters and journalists."

"I've heard some news reports," I told her, "though this is something new." "Not new for us," Alejandra told me, "it's just been shushed by the media. But we have been in a very bad situation with food and medicine. ... Just today, a friend of mine left her home to buy a present for her 12 month old baby. When she came back, someone had broken into her house, stole her stash of diapers, all her baby's clothes, left NOTHING. stole her clothes too, and the food she had in her fridge and pantry, you know, half a kilo of rice, some pasta, 250grms of coffee, things like that. That's how bad things are. ... You see people losing weight, faces gaunt, people who have college degrees, like doctors, engineers, accountants, making $15 a month and not being able to eat twice a day."

She had shared a few real-life pictures of her and her daughter, but after some thought she felt it might not be a good idea for them to be used, "maybe we should use (only) Second Life pictures. ... what if someone who knows me sees it, and they mug me or kidnap me for money? It might not be so safe to put my face there." It was quickly agreed to use only her Second Life identity and pictures.

I asked her where she had first gotten the idea of making her appeal. She answered, "Well, I had my group for about 7 or 8 years now, and I have thousands of loyal customers, people who know who I am, they know my store has 3 brand new group gifts per week, and they KNOW who I am.. I have always been open about my real-life and my daughter, and the situation we are facing.  We are like a big family in my store group, and I thought some of the girls could or would want to help us."

I asked about others getting help outside the country. She answered, "Of course. Maybe about 80% of my friends have left the country, they are doctors or accountants here, and go to America or Europe to clean houses, work construction, do any job they can find, work at hotels cleanings, so they can send money back to their relatives." While it does bring home needed cash, unfortunately, "it tears families apart. I have a friend who left her deaf/mute daughter and granddaughter to go work in America taking care of an elderly person, so she can send money back here. Another friend who left her two kids with her mom and left to Dominican Republic, so her kids get to have food, but no mother."

"The Dominican Republic?" I asked, "Weren't they poor compared to your country a generation or two ago?" Alejandra answered, "People came to Venezuela from all over the world, because we have a great weather, the women are GORGEOUS, people are warm, you have in such a small country a desert, snow, the most amazing beaches, the plains of Venezuela, we are sitting on top of the biggest reserve oil of the world,  there is no other country with more oil.  Venezuela used to be a great place to live in, we often would see Europeans, Latin Americans or Americans vacationing here. Now the sad truth is that we are treated as 'the migrants' now where we go. Lately I have seen protests in Panama, asking the government to deport illegal Venezuelans, same in Dominican Republic and other countries. We are known as 'the migrants,' people are fleeing the country, even by boat."

I then asked, "Is there any kind of sign of this collapse being halted?" She answered, "You live here in a state of anxiety, you live with uneasiness, often people will say 'NOW THIS IS IT, THIS WILL BE IT!' But nothing ever happens,  there will be no revocatory against the President (elections to vote if we want the president or not).  We have lost the sense to be shocked.  For instance, a few weeks ago some malandros (thugs) got into a bus with a mobile credit card machine and they made everyone on the bus empty their bank accounts.  So, people say 'OK THIS IS IT! NOW IT'S REALLY THE LAST STRAW!' But nothing really happens. When things get really bad, the government distributes some food or do a concert and bring a couple of singers and some beers, and people forget about war, and they go back to their jobs the next day."

How secure was her connection to the outside world, Second Life and the Internet? Alejandra answered it was already occasionally sporadic due to the occasional lack of electric power, "we go without Internet sometimes a couple of days. Sometimes we have Internet but no electricity, water and gas fail too, we will be having water only twice a week, on Wednesday and Sunday night. It's all chaotic here."

Although her email was in the notecard, she asked that it not be used in the article as she could get in serious trouble if the Venezuelan government traced them to her. Anyone interested in helping her could contact her inworld for the information. How could others help her out? "Walmart gift cards, or Amazon. When you buy a gift card, it gives you the gift card number and a four number code. With those two details I can add it to my account and use it. It won't work for PayPal,  but it would would work for contacting me."

As many problems as she had, some which she wanted off the record, Alejandra's last message was one of well-wishes, "I want to wish you and all your readers a merry Christmas and may 2017 be a wonderful year for you and all you love."

And so we parted ways. A number of my Second Life and Facebook friends often complain about drama, or about sports. Several weeks after the US Presidential election, there are still no shortage of complaints from some about the results. It all seems so pale when talking to someone concerned about her daughter having enough to eat.

Alejandra recommended  A number of New York Times articles about her country's situation, including one about the currency crisis sparked by the government's strange policies, and of it's people trying to find work outside the country to bring home a little cash.

Alejandra's store is located at Pergola (158/9/22), she has a page on Marketplace, and has her own blog at http://wetherbysfashion.blogspot.com

Bixyl Shuftan

Commentary: Suicide and Second Life

By DrFran Babcock

There has been a lot of discussion, anger and passion over the Commentary posted by Nydia Tungsten and Brandi Streusel Tungsten on March 2^nd, 2015 in this esteemed publication  (http://slnewserpeople.blogspot.com/2015/03/commentary-suicide.html). When I got to the monthly Newser staff meeting last Saturday, I was alarmed to find that Nydia was not there. According to editor Bixyl, she was taking a break from Second Life™ because of her upset over the event which had prompted her commentary.

 

I had wanted to tell her how much I agreed with what she said. However, I didn’t get that chance, and then the Plurk-driven underbelly of Second Life™ cranked into action, resulting in this SL Secret submission last Sunday. (see number 9 http://slsecrets.com/slsecrets/slsecret-week-341/ ).

I suppose you are wondering why I am inserting myself into this controversy. I have worked in behavioral health for almost all of my life, the last 30 years full-time in a psychiatric hospital. I work in a huge health system, and I am one of seven people who comprise the Suicide Task Force for the health system. I am not bragging; I am attempting to establish the fact that I have been very close to the subject for many years. 

Suicide is always a mess. It means that someone is in enough pain to override the human instinct to stay alive. It means that the people left behind will suffer, and spend their lives wondering what they could have done to prevent it. Most of all, it means that something that was essentially preventable took place.

The fact that someone threatens suicide because they want us to know they are in pain, or because they have learned that these gestures bring attention and love does not mean that they will not eventually complete a suicide — either on purpose or by accident. However, if you tell me you are going to end your life in a venue or situation in which I have no actual access to you—there is nothing I can do.

Nydia and Brandi are angry because they were put in a hostage situation. There is no denying that the person who sent the photos of himself with the gun was in pain, but he put his friends in a horrid no-win situation. 

In virtual worlds, where we don’t always know how to contact the person behind the avatar, it is easy to create a drama. While I don’t know the details of the relationship this person had with Nydia and Brandi, they scrambled to help the man in whatever manner they had at their disposal.

Perhaps this incident can serve to raise awareness of suicide. Suicide is always preventable, provided the person who is suicidal seeks help. The sad reality is that the disease of depression, the single largest stimulus for suicide, can also cause a person to remain isolated and secretive about their feelings. It is never OK to threaten and tease people with suicide, but the suicidal person’s judgment is often impaired.

I applaud the Tungsten’s for venting their feelings about this event. It is time for mental illness and suicide to come out of the darkness. The discussion has to get going. We have to be able to talk about these things so that people understand that suicidal people are in pain, and not bad. What this guy did was an act of anger and need, and I hope he gets help. I hope if there is a next time he feels this way that instead of emotional hostage-taking, he picks up a phone and asks for help.

Many years ago an ex-patient of mine contacted me (my number is unlisted, so I have no idea how she did it), and started to threaten suicide. I got her number from the hospital and called it, but the number had been disconnected. I made some other attempts to contact her which turned out to be all dead ends. I let it go, because I had done all I could do. 

Am I responsible for helping someone who doesn’t allow me to really help them? I think not. I am responsible for making the effort to do so. That is what Nydia did. I hope she can come back to Second Life™. Until then, I will miss her fine writing in the SL Newser. 

This editorial reflects my beliefs, and my experience. I welcome a dialogue, because that’s how things emerge from the shadows. Suicide needs to emerge from the shadows, so we can help.

DrFran Babcock

Commentary: Suicide

By Nydia Tungsten and Brandi Streusel Tungsten

Last night, I had a friend send pictures with a shotgun barrel in their mouth to a few of us. To say it upset me is a severe understatement. They were saying this was how they were feeling, then stopped talking after a while. We all feared the worst had happened. I was in tears most of the night.

I am STILL a wreck this morning as I write this with shaky hands. I have lost two very dear and close friends to suicide, over what they thought they could not endure anymore. I still love them both and remember them, but I do it with mixed feelings.

Their acts of cowardice destroyed lives not of their own, and I am talking about the family members that found them and their friends that have to deal with the sudden loss. Imagine a sister that finds her brother a week after he hung himself, a full week! Imagine what that did to her. Imagine a mother who goes into to talk to her daughter in the morning only to find her dead soiled body on the bed next to an empty pill bottle.

Suicide doesn't just affect the ones that do it, but those that are left behind, and to me, they are the biggest, most selfish cowards in the world. People will say I just don't understand. Maybe they are right, but I will bet you dollars to doughnuts more people believe the way I do.

Celebrities that kill themselves are “Celebrated for their lives and the works they have done” when in fact, they need to be forgotten and the media needs to stop being glamorizing their deaths to the public and making it look like it was honorable. IT'S NOT! They died like they lived: attention whores! That is the message I get from ever celebrity site that has front page news about the latest suicide, and yes it has made me a bit bitter.

And for those of you that feel you need to send pictures to your friends with guns in your mouth, you are the worst.

I am not saying not to reach out, I encourage that. YES, talk to someone. But stuff like
that is WAY over the line and you come across as a theatrical attention whore once the dust settles.

Because of that picture, my nerves are shot, I've gotten very little sleep. I am an emotional wreck as it at LEAST three other people I know of this morning. We were finally able to figure out where they lived and get the police out to them, where they quickly tried to play it off and telling the police to forget about it instead of getting help they desperately need.

If you feel like you want to take your life, PLEASE call someone, ANYONE and talk to them. Tell them how you are feeling, it could be a medical problem that can be fixed!

But if you think you absolutely must take the selfish cowardly way out, find a cannon ball, tie it to your ankles and jump in the ocean so no one will find you. After a while, you will just be forgotten, which is all you deserve.

So it comes down to this. If you want to end it all, please seek help. And if you don't really want to seek help, then SCREW YOU AND DO IT ALONE!!

Nydia Tungsten