Interview With Melly Callidora (MelainaGodness)

 

y Bixyl Shuftan

In August 2014, Wesley Regenbogen interviewed Hope Dreamscape (hope4ever43), one of two co-owners of a club that had recently held a cancer fundraiser. A few months later, he did a followup, of her owning a horse ranch. We last heard from her as Hope Driftwood teaching the reporter who interviewed her how to ride a horse.

Recently, the Newser was contacted by her once more, asking for a followup on what's been happening to her. The most obvious change was she had started anew with a new account: MelainaGodness, known as Melly Callidora. She requested to do her part of the interview in voice as typing a lot had gotten uncomfortable: her physical health had taken a turn for the worse in the past few years. At 51 years old, she had carpal tunnel, two herniated disks, metal screws in her neck that made it hard to turn her head, migraines, diabetes, asthma, high blood pressure, and worst of all: Cancer. She explained it was uterine/cervical cancer, occurring where the two body parts meet, and also had lymphoma. She described herself as being in constant pain, and needed a cane to get around, or a wheelchair if it was for a long distance.

In Second Life, things were better. She had met up with a Benji Darkfury, and eventually the two were married inworld. Sadly, Benji would fall ill and pass away. Melly told me she had been building lighthouses wherever she lived in the virtual world since, so his spirit could "find his way home." She talked more about him, saying they met up in real life, him being from Connecticut and "I'm from New York." She told me one of his real-life family had gone inworld, and together they were able to help him have virtually what he couldn't in reality. "I took it very hard when he died," she told me, "I stopped playing Second Life for a time." It took her some time to return, but eventually she did. She had been transferred ownership of Benji's avatar.

"I have a forever son." Melly told me, "People say he's my favorite, but I have a lot of children." One, Oakan Callidora Corvinus (oakan.corvinus) or "Oakie" went to see her in real life, "It was the best experience I ever had." She also mentioned having an SL daughter, "I have a twin brother ... I have an older brother, Ren. But Niyethan  is the twin. ... I have another brother, Joey." She also mentioned, "I have a real-life friend, Paul, who plays Second Life." She would later say he lived about 45 minutes away. I have a lot of brother's and sisters.

Melly called herself the leading lady of a Bloodlines clan, Clan Darkness Family , "I am the Matriarch, the Queen of the clan." Oakan was the head of it. She described her family's land as having a number of animals, notably horses. She showed me the castle, where family dinners were held sometimes. She showed me Darkfurry Hall, where there was a plaque in honor of Benji, "Benji is honored in every way we can." She would show me her manor. When not held at the castle, dinners were held here every Saturday night, either inside in the dining room or outside in the patio area.

She would show me the Callidora Ranch, where she raised horses. These were Amaretto horses, the oldest brand of breedable horses in Second Life. She would breed them, and sell some of the colts to raise some money, "just had two born." She would put those to be sold in a barrel, then taken to her daughter-in-law's store. She also raised something called Chimeras, and breedable cats known as Kitticats. She would also show me a group of breedable fairies. Melly would show me the family logo, an image of a vampire woman smelling (or perhaps about to taste) a rose.

She told me her real life had become a struggle, but her SL family had made all the difference. She had created the Callidora family in 2016, and she talked about how "amazing" it was that her inworld family has "been there for me." Due to her worsening health, she had to give up her real-life job of 20 years, being a teacher of handicaped students. Her inworld family provided plenty of support, "I don't like to have them take care of me. ... I had to learn to step aside and let Oakie take over." She stated she had a lot of SL children, "but I don't put up with drama."

Of her health, doctors were finding themselves with less and less options for what could be done long-term, "There is nothing more they can do for me." She had been told she has about a year left, maybe a little more, "Some days I don't get out of bed," saying there were times she was just in too much pain, "But I always try to do Saturday, and holidays." Her eyesight has become not that good. She had used to DJ in the past, but had to give it up. With her carpal tunnel getting worse, it was just becoming too difficult. She also told me she was starting to have memory troubles, in part due to her medications, and had to rely on her Alexa at times to remember things. She takes a total of 21 pills a day, plus uses an inhaler.

Despite the short time the doctors gave her, she wasn't truly going by what they were saying. All things considered, she felt, "I've been doing pretty good. ... If it's my time to go, it's my time to go." She mentioned she had a high white-cell blood count for years. She would go on to say her father had been a Vietnam veteran, who during his tour was exposed to Agent Orange, both by inhaling it and cutting his hands on barbed wire covered by it. She felt she was likely exposed to it was well through him, affecting her period and affecting her chances of having kids. She had been married three times in real life. She had one other family member who was having health problems, a niece who came down with polio, and stated she was just now was showing signs of cerebral palsy. Of her immediate family, a sister and four brothers, one of her brothers has passed on.

She once again described her SL family as being very supportive, more than her real-life one. She described a moment at one of her real-life brothers being surprised at how much medication she had to take, "Who does this?"

Melly had a Flickr account, and I asked about it. She told me most of the pictures had been taken by Joey (Chronisz). While there where other photographers in the family, she tries to promote Joey as much as she can.

Near the end of the interview, Paul would appear, in a furry anthro fox avatar. We chatted for a while. At one point, he amusingly spoke of Melly, "She used to have an infatuation with black olives." "Shut up Paul!" she responded, then chuckled.

Above everything else, despite her real-life difficulties, Melly was grateful for the support her SL family had given her, and was allowing her to live a life with happy moments, "I live my live and enjoy it the best I can."

Addition: Melly would later tell me I missed one detail, "My alt Riley Darkfury is Benji's wife."

Bixyl Shuftan

 

"Your Mother Has Cancer"

By Deaflegacy,


“Your mother has cancer,” I was told one day.  “It's too late.  They're moving her to the hospice.”  That was what I heard in 2013.  That was the year I was living in Langley before I moved somewhere else. 

My best friend was still alive back then.  We would take a trip to the Langley Hospice so we could visit Mom.  I remember wanting to spend as much time as I could with Mom and at the same time, I can feel that I'm starting to lose her. 

On August 15, 2013, we visited the hospice.  I saw her on bed.  She was asleep.  I didn't want to wake her up.  The nurse told me to talk to Mom.  I talked to Mom.  I told her that everything will be fine.  As I was talking to Mom, I knew it would be the last I'd see of Mom.

 We left.  According to my best friend, Mom passed away fifteen minutes after we left.  I remember arriving at my best friend's place and the phone was ringing.  My best friend answered the phone and immediately started crying.  I just knew.  Mom passed away because of cancer. 

The same thing that took my Uncle away earlier when my Grandmother was still alive. 

At the same time, I was in shock.  Mom was my best friend.  Even though we have had really hard times when I was growing up, we were still best friends. 

Sometimes after I joined Second Life, I found out about Relay for Life.  I wanted to join and offer support.  I did join Relay for Life. 

I did move on, knowing that Mom is with my Uncle and Grandmother.  I know that one day, I would join them.  Yes, I do miss them, and yes, I do resent cancer in every possible way, knowing that cancer did strike four times in my family – my Grandfather, my Grandmother, my Uncle, and my Mother got cancer.  My grandmother survived cancer (it was skin cancer).  I don't know about my Grandfather.  All I know is that my Grandfather did not die of cancer.  It would be my Uncle and mother who died of cancer.  I miss them very much. 

One day, I asked Bixyl Shuftan if I can write about my family having cancer and how it affected me, seeing that my family had been hit by cancer.  I can honestly tell you that each time, it's the same thing.  A hard cold blow, knowing what would happen in the end with my mother.  Do I hate cancer for taking my family away from me?  Yes, I do, very much hate cancer. 

I just know that later on, my best friend got cancer.  She would later die of a cardiac arrest.  I miss her, too. 

Do I think that I might one day get cancer because my family got it?  Yes, it scares me.  But is it possible?  No.  My father's family doesn't get cancer.  When it comes to my uncle and mother, both their parents got cancer. 

Now, I'm a little sad, missing my family.  That's the reason why I joined Relay for Life.  It's so I can offer support to people who have been affected by cancer in any way.

Deaflegacy

"Your Mother Had Cancer."

By Deaflegacy

"Your mother had cancer."

I just looked at the interpreter before looking away.  Later on, I met with my Mother and my best friend.  My mother had been spending some time in the ER.  It had something to do with her stomach so my best friend spent some time with her.  That day, we found out that the doctor can't do anything for my Mother.  It was too late.  It was then recommended that my mother go to the hospice.  We agreed on that. 

Later on, I saw my mother in the hospice.  It was like a home, but these who were about to say good bye to like.  I remember the day before and my mother was doing just fine.  We talked.  We have had fun.  I will never ever forget that day I said good bye to my mother.  My best friend and I went to see her. 

She was in bed.  One of her eyes was closed, and another was open.  I knew right then that I have to say good bye to her.  The nurse stopped by and encouraged me to talk to my mother.  I did exactly that.  I told my Mother that everything will be okay.  My best friend and I will be all right.  We will do what we can for the family dog.  The family dog's name is Gracey.  I said good-bye and we left. 

When we got home, my best friend received a phone call from the hospice.  Fifteen minutes after we left, my Mother passed away.  While my best friend wept, I was in shock.  I knew that my Mother was going to join my Grandmother in Heaven.  I just wasn't expecting that soon.  It still is very painful for me to think about it, especially when we have to give the family dog up for adoption.  I have no idea where Gracey is right now, but I hope she is doing well. 

So many things have gone by and I still think about my Mother.  To me, she was everything.  It is true that there had been bad times, but there had been good times as well.  She was not just my mother.  She was my best friend.  Cancer took her away from me and I did say good bye to her that day, August 15, almost three years ago.  I'd say that this coming August 15 would be the three year anniversary since my Mother passed away.  Not a day had gone by that I don't think about her.  All I can say is that she is in Heaven with my grandmother and uncle.  I didn't tell her this but I might as well say it out loud.  My Mother was much more than just my mom and best friend.  She was my mentor. 

Deaflegacy

Adopt-a-Family’s Summer on the Boardwalk

Summer on the Boardwalk, a carnival for Adopt-a-Family, was held this weekend, July 8 – 10, at SnickerDoodle (126, 135, 25). Adopt-a-Family is an organization that helps make holidays a little better for Second Life residents facing economic hardship in their real-life. The carnival was a huge success, raising over $288,000 L for this charity.

The festivities included rides, food, live music, auctions, and even a dunk tank. Although the rides could be ridden for free, a convenient ticket box near each one allowed you to donate to the charity. The rides included a Merry-Go-Round, Bumper cars, Ferris Wheel, Jet Scream, and more. I got a great bird’s eye view of the carnival from the Ferris Wheel, but the Jet Scream ride was awesome. It started out tame, but soon was revolving like a rocket. Good thing I rode before I ate the hot dogs and cotton candy.

There was a House of Mirrors that looked interesting, too, but I never made it inside. I was distracted by a few fun-loving residents at the dunking tank who were having a great time. Instead of looking in the mirror, I decided to join them.

Lacie Beningborough and Laetitia Vella had Ted Floresby right where they wanted him—in the dunk tank. Ted splashed into the tank quite a few times thanks to Lacie’s mean arm! Laetitia and I cheered Lacie on a bit, then I had to give it a try. For a small donation I got 3 balls. I made the last one count—and downed Ted again. He was a good sport and was doing it for a great cause.

Other SL celebrities, including Frolic Mills and Dousa Dragonash took a turn in the dunk tank, too. Guess they know us mere mortals love dunking the rich and famous. BlackBarbie Bravin, who is both a SL celebrity and businesswoman said “it was a hoot.” “What's most important,” BlackBarbie said, “is that we are able to help others. It was a great experience and the best reason to ever to mess up my hair.”

On Sunday there was live music. Avantguard Frequency started the show off. When I stopped by he was getting a very warm reception from the crowd. Other musicians were slated to play during the day. Lacie Beningborough, who organized the carnival, said, “Other musicians heard about what we were doing and asked if they could volunteer. So we added an extra 2 hours to the show-- that was totally amazing!”

In addition to the rides and music, jewelry and fashion designers donated items for the auction boards that lined the stage area. Lacie said Frolic Mills and the folks at BOSL volunteered and worked hard to make this event happen. They all deserve a big “thank-you.”

Lacie Beningborough began Adopt-a-Family in November of 2009, when she discovered that a SL resident was in need in RL. The family was in jeopardy of losing everything because the husband had just lost his job, and the couple had two chronically ill children. Lacie organized a benefit to help the SL resident. The fundraiser was a huge success, and she promised to have it become a SL tradition. This year’s Christmas show will be December 19, 2011.

During the year Adopt-a-Family raises funds to help families in Second Life to have Christmas in real-life. The identity of the recipients is known only to the Board of Directors to protect privacy. Donors have the option of remaining anonymous or allowing their names to be used. If you know a SL resident that will need some help during the holidays, you can contact Lacie Beningborough before November 15, 2011.

Grey Lupindo