"Your Mother Has Cancer"

By Deaflegacy,


“Your mother has cancer,” I was told one day.  “It's too late.  They're moving her to the hospice.”  That was what I heard in 2013.  That was the year I was living in Langley before I moved somewhere else. 

My best friend was still alive back then.  We would take a trip to the Langley Hospice so we could visit Mom.  I remember wanting to spend as much time as I could with Mom and at the same time, I can feel that I'm starting to lose her. 

On August 15, 2013, we visited the hospice.  I saw her on bed.  She was asleep.  I didn't want to wake her up.  The nurse told me to talk to Mom.  I talked to Mom.  I told her that everything will be fine.  As I was talking to Mom, I knew it would be the last I'd see of Mom.

 We left.  According to my best friend, Mom passed away fifteen minutes after we left.  I remember arriving at my best friend's place and the phone was ringing.  My best friend answered the phone and immediately started crying.  I just knew.  Mom passed away because of cancer. 

The same thing that took my Uncle away earlier when my Grandmother was still alive. 

At the same time, I was in shock.  Mom was my best friend.  Even though we have had really hard times when I was growing up, we were still best friends. 

Sometimes after I joined Second Life, I found out about Relay for Life.  I wanted to join and offer support.  I did join Relay for Life. 

I did move on, knowing that Mom is with my Uncle and Grandmother.  I know that one day, I would join them.  Yes, I do miss them, and yes, I do resent cancer in every possible way, knowing that cancer did strike four times in my family – my Grandfather, my Grandmother, my Uncle, and my Mother got cancer.  My grandmother survived cancer (it was skin cancer).  I don't know about my Grandfather.  All I know is that my Grandfather did not die of cancer.  It would be my Uncle and mother who died of cancer.  I miss them very much. 

One day, I asked Bixyl Shuftan if I can write about my family having cancer and how it affected me, seeing that my family had been hit by cancer.  I can honestly tell you that each time, it's the same thing.  A hard cold blow, knowing what would happen in the end with my mother.  Do I hate cancer for taking my family away from me?  Yes, I do, very much hate cancer. 

I just know that later on, my best friend got cancer.  She would later die of a cardiac arrest.  I miss her, too. 

Do I think that I might one day get cancer because my family got it?  Yes, it scares me.  But is it possible?  No.  My father's family doesn't get cancer.  When it comes to my uncle and mother, both their parents got cancer. 

Now, I'm a little sad, missing my family.  That's the reason why I joined Relay for Life.  It's so I can offer support to people who have been affected by cancer in any way.

Deaflegacy

"Your Mother Had Cancer."

By Deaflegacy

"Your mother had cancer."

I just looked at the interpreter before looking away.  Later on, I met with my Mother and my best friend.  My mother had been spending some time in the ER.  It had something to do with her stomach so my best friend spent some time with her.  That day, we found out that the doctor can't do anything for my Mother.  It was too late.  It was then recommended that my mother go to the hospice.  We agreed on that. 

Later on, I saw my mother in the hospice.  It was like a home, but these who were about to say good bye to like.  I remember the day before and my mother was doing just fine.  We talked.  We have had fun.  I will never ever forget that day I said good bye to my mother.  My best friend and I went to see her. 

She was in bed.  One of her eyes was closed, and another was open.  I knew right then that I have to say good bye to her.  The nurse stopped by and encouraged me to talk to my mother.  I did exactly that.  I told my Mother that everything will be okay.  My best friend and I will be all right.  We will do what we can for the family dog.  The family dog's name is Gracey.  I said good-bye and we left. 

When we got home, my best friend received a phone call from the hospice.  Fifteen minutes after we left, my Mother passed away.  While my best friend wept, I was in shock.  I knew that my Mother was going to join my Grandmother in Heaven.  I just wasn't expecting that soon.  It still is very painful for me to think about it, especially when we have to give the family dog up for adoption.  I have no idea where Gracey is right now, but I hope she is doing well. 

So many things have gone by and I still think about my Mother.  To me, she was everything.  It is true that there had been bad times, but there had been good times as well.  She was not just my mother.  She was my best friend.  Cancer took her away from me and I did say good bye to her that day, August 15, almost three years ago.  I'd say that this coming August 15 would be the three year anniversary since my Mother passed away.  Not a day had gone by that I don't think about her.  All I can say is that she is in Heaven with my grandmother and uncle.  I didn't tell her this but I might as well say it out loud.  My Mother was much more than just my mom and best friend.  She was my mentor. 

Deaflegacy

Nydia Tungsten Speaks on Recent Events

By Bixyl Shuftan

Nydia Tungsten has had quite a history in Second Life, notably as a valued member of the Sunweavers. Her own group of fans, the Angels, could be considered a comminity in itself, on occasion the Sunweavers are refered to as the Sunweaver/Angels community. But the past several weeks have not been kind to the little white vixen. One problem was her computer, her pets had knocked the unit on the floor, wrecking it. But the real problem was her mother. In poor health recently, she finally passed away, leaving Nydia and her family in mourning, and stuck with bills as the funeral insurance would not pay for certain expenses. Such difficulties would mean the end of Second Life for many, but Nydia's friends came together in support for her. Recently, Nydia asked to talk about this trying time and the response of her friends.

"I want to let everyone know how much their support means to me," Nydia spoke of the response of her friends, "It has be been a really sh**ty 8 weeks for me. ... I never really feel like I am all that special, I am just here and I have great friends."

"I felt terrible about my system being broke, then my Mom started to take a turn for the worse again. I thought she would turn around again, I really did. But then, she started slipping. I had very little in the way of an outlet. I couldn't even come here much."

"I was overwhelmed with frustration and...and....despair. ( I am fighting back tears right now remembering). Then I started getting glimpses of what was happening here, for me. I couldn't understand it,  but I was so grateful for it. Then Reco, goddess bless him and make all his dreams come true, paid for the buy-down for both my sims, over 1200 US dollars. I was in shock, So I was able to reduce the rents of all my renters. Then he buys me another computer, a whole ferkin' computer! (One) that was just a bit shy of 2,000."

"You're wondering where he got the money?" I asked.

"I do wonder," Nydia answered, "I hope everything is okay for him."

"He has been doing a *lot* for a number of people<" I spoke, "But when I asked him about it, his response was simply 'I just wanted to help.' "

"Dear goddess he HAS helped," Nydia responded, "He even sent me money to help with the burial of my Mother. There is no way I can ever repay him, I wish there was something I could do for him."

"Then there was the memorial set up next to us," Nydia directed my attention to the cross set up nearby, which was soon followed by candles and flowers, "I am starting to realize how much I am cared for here.. While touching, it scares me a bit as well. I have never been that cared about in real-life, never one of the 'in' crowd so to speak, So being shown I am loved this much, it overwhelms me.I don't know how to react to it. To me, I am just me, nothing special, just here. So, I don't see, why, or understand."

"Well, you have been here for many of us in a time of need," I told her, "a shoulder to cry on, a ear to listen to."

"But, that's just being a good person," Nydia answered, "So, I am just not used to it I guess. But I would like to take this opportunity to thank each and everyone of my family and friends here in Second Life and please know I love you. Dear goddess I can't say that enough, and I never will be able to repay you for all the warmth and love shown to me. It has sustained me through this whole ordeal."

It was then that Nydia finished what she had to say about recent weeks, and we talked more about other matters before we had to part.

Bixyl Shuftan