Ask DrFran: Caught Between Two Worlds

By DrFran Babcock

Dear DrFran: I have a feeling what I am going to tell you is not uncommon, but I haven’t seen it yet in your column so I thought I would bring it up.

I am a long time Second Life resident, and I joined originally because my kids are grown, my husband works long hours, and I don’t really enjoy the stuff that other women my age are into in their daily lives. Sharing recipes and talking about clothes is just not as exciting to me as building castles and raising Lindens for the American Cancer Society. My creativity is expressed in the things I make here, and although I have usually given them away for free, or donated them for charity events, I am fulfilled by what I do.

My question for you begins during last year’s Relay for Life events, when a newcomer joined our old and established team for the first time. His avatar was a very handsome male, and he almost always wore suits, and took pains with his appearance. His building and scripting skills added a dimension to our team camp that really struck a high note for the team. As one of the main landscapers and vendor monitors for the team we were together often while planning out and working on things. We chatted amiably for a few weeks, neither of us revealing any personal information—until we started to share. That was when I noticed I was starting to have feelings for him. For the first time I didn’t feel sorry for myself that my husband, a surgeon, was rarely around. Max, as I will call him, was a professional (keeping some details vague here), and lived in another continent from me.  I kept our conversation light, despite my growing sense of intimacy, and worked hard not to let him know I was falling for him.

A few days before Relay opened officially, we were at one of the many pre-RFL parties, and he asked me to dance. While we were dancing, he asked me in I had voice, and for the first time we chatted in voice while we danced. I had never been so entranced, or so engaged in Second Life. I still tried not to let on about my feelings for him. His English was flawless, but his slight accent was a thrill to me. We talked and talked, and before I knew it my husband was home, so I logged.

From then on, no matter what we were doing, building, at a meeting, planning to run Relay, etc., we were in voice, talking and talking. He started to make statements related to having me come to visit him. I still had no idea what he looked like, nor did he know what I looked like. That didn’t seem to matter, because our friendship had been built on talking and sharing, and that seemed to get more intense and revealing each day. Finally, in what by this time was no surprise, he told me that he cared about me as more than just a friend. My heart literally leapt out of my chest, and out of my mouth poured all the things I had been holding inside. We were like two kids jumping up and down with joy. To this day it’s the highlight of my emotional life.

From that day on, Max and I have been inseparable. We have shared everything about our stories, our lives, and all our little secrets. He wanted me to come to his continent to visit. We now knew what each other looked like, and we were even more in love. When I had to log out I would feel empty and alone. I was happy that my husband was never around.

Finally, I decided to go visit Max for a week when my husband left for two weeks for a medical conference in Houston. I knew he would never know I was gone, because he rarely calls, and with my cell phone it would not matter.

Suffice it to say that Max and I hit it off better than I even imagined. I went home to my husband, dejected and missing Max. Since then Max has been begging me to come back and live with him. Now, Max not a rich man, like my husband, but I love him. I am so tormented. Should I leave my husband for this man, Max?  Undecided

Dear Undecided: I wonder why you have written to me, when it seems that you have already made up your mind? That said, I do have opinions, my opinions, on the subject of infidelity, love, and choices.

I am not a fan of infidelity. I understand just how easy it is to be attracted to someone other than the person with whom you are married, but it speaks to a lack of commitment and integrity. However, I am not judging. It does seem as if Max is way more attentive than your husband, who seems most like a good provider, and nothing more.

True love is something that is very rare to find. In Second Life we often form very close and intimate relationships, because lacking the visuals, we have to communicate verbally. We can’t fall into bed with someone and develop the relationship after (note: We can virtually, but that is a different thing. ).
By the way, you didn’t say whether or not you slept with Max when you visited, but that would serve to make the relationship stronger. Did you know that lovemaking releases chemicals that make women desire their man even more strongly? (How Oxytocin Works )

Let me address the question of making decisions, as that will remove me from my obvious bias about fidelity. Undecided, there is a somewhat objective way to decide what to do. Make a list of the pros and cons of each decision. Do not do this in your head, but put it on paper, so you can see it in black and white. Often, this simple task, when completed honestly, can give you the answer you seek.

I wish you luck in your decision, whatever it is. Please keep us posted here about what happens.  Thanks,

DrFran

Obligatory disclaimer: The column Ask DrFran is the work of DrFran Babcock, and may not reflect the views of SL Newser as a whole. Please direct any correspondence to DrFran Babcock. I look forward to hearing from you.

Ask DrFran: DrFran’s Soapbox

By DrFran Babcock

Dear DrFran: 

This is a bit sensitive, so I hope you will hear me out. I was abused repeatedly as a child, and didn’t have much of a chance to enjoy just being a kid. As a result, I grew into a very serious adult with a strong need to control my surroundings, so I can feel in control of my emotions. That’s pretty good insight, in my opinion, and it’s helped me to survive all these years. The thing that really helped me, though, was coming into Second Life and becoming a child here. As a Second Life child, I can have all of the fun that was denied me when I was growing up. I go to camp, school, participate in Relay for Life activities, build, and a whole bunch of other silly, and out of control things I could never seem to do in First Life. The realism of the role play is impressive. We even have read. I have grown and flourished here, becoming popular with the other kids, and I have even been able to move some of this to my day-to-day life.  

I spend all of my time in Second Life with other child play avatars, and never stray far from my group. We are all friends, and many of us have even met up in First Life. I am telling you all this as background for what I am about to tell you. I have a distrust of grown up avatars, and except for the teachers and camp counselors, I usually stay away from all adults. I can be found usually on General sims, and have avoided events and activities that might place me in proximity with mature sims.

That said, and shaking as I write this, and I am pretty sure you know where this is going. Two weeks ago, after school, one of the adult teachers, whom I will call Mr. Fred, asked me to stay after math class so that he could show me how to solve a homework problem that I really didn’t understand. I was a little nervous, but figured the school could only have trusted teachers.

Within moments of the rest of the class leaving, he rezzed a set of pose balls and asked me to climb on the pink one. He told me: “This is so we can sit and talk about the homework.” I didn’t believe him, but I felt helpless to protest—that’s a problem I have because of the abuse I have suffered. People can boss me around easily. That’s one of the reasons I avoid adult avatars. When I got on the pose ball, I immediately began to gyrate in a sexual way. I was completely freaked out. I hopped off the ball and teleported back home, and logged out. I have not told a soul about this, and it happened about two weeks ago. When my First Life abuse was going on my abuser, a neighbor, used to tell me that if I told anyone what we were doing that he would hurt my parents. I guess I am conditioned to keep silent, but I worry that Mr. Fred will try this with other child play avatars, and most of the ones I know have also suffered from child abuse.

Since that day I have not logged in much, I feel a return of some of the horrid symptoms that used to haunt me before I found Second Life. What can I do?

Sign me: Abused.

Dear Abused: I am so sorry for all of the horrid things that were done to you. Children are not meant to be objects of pleasure for sick people. Pedophiles abound, and this is the topic to which I have the strongest, angriest, and frustrated response. The world has yet to awaken to the epidemic proportions of child abuse, and things will not improve until they do.

I know that you will not be pleased to hear this, but you MUST Abuse Report (AR) this individual. This behavior is bound to continue unless you report him. I am sure this avatar worked a long time on building the trust of the school administration in order to get into the role of a trusted instructor. If he is stopped, he will surely create an alt to continue this behavior, but it will take time for him to establish the relationships he needs to continue with his behavior. Of course, this is conjecture. For all I know he (or she) is operating several avatars already.

It’s been a while (2008) since there has been a lot of talk about child play avatars in Second Life being used for pedophiliac role play. Marianne McCann ( http://marianne.secondlifekid.com ) and fellow advocates have gone a long way to demonstrate the actual purpose of child play for many individuals, and it is similar to what you expressed. The children of Second Life have a reputation for fun, charity and loyalty to each other that is enviable.

This is Second Life, not First Life, but I am a firm believer that the line between the two is wafer thin. You hurt my avatar, and the First Life DrFran is hurt. You are a pedophile in Second Life, and you probably are a pedophile in real life.

Please, please, please, Abused. Report this guy, because he will continue his behavior, and you will be doing the right thing, not the wrong thing. I appreciate fully how difficult it is to break out of the habit of protecting your perpetrator, that were wired into you as a child, but as a wise person said to me: If nothing changes; nothing changes. I hope you can find the courage to do report this individual, and I hope you can find a way back to your friends and family in Second Life.

DrFran

Obligatory disclaimer: The column Ask DrFran is the work of DrFran Babcock, and may not reflect the views of SL Newser as a whole. Please direct any correspondence to DrFran Babcock. I look forward to hearing from you.

Ask DrFran: It’s a Big Grid

By DrFran Babcock

Dear DrFran: 

My rez date is from 2006, but I left Second Life soon after I came in, and didn’t return until recently. I am amazed at how much has changed since then. The grid is a gorgeous place filled with amazing builds. Mesh has added so much to the way things look—it’s a paradise. The thing that is most striking to me is how vast the world is—it’s gigantic! I teleport from place to place to place, and I mostly find myself alone. That’s what I wanted to ask you about.

Back in 2006 I could find things to do by looking on the website at events. There were always a lot of events, and I found them. What was a problem back then is still a problem for me today. I just don’t know how to make friends here.  There are some places where I find lots of avatars: Frank’s Place Jazz Club, New Citizens Incorporated, and some of the Welcome Areas. I go to these places and hang around, but nothing ever seems to happen.

My question is: How do I meet people in Second Life? I don’t mean finding a boyfriend. I just want to have people to hang around with, explore to this fantastic place, and sit and chat. What am I doing wrong? Thanks, 

Lonely in Paradise. 


Dear Lonely: I chose your letter out of a pile of similar letters. There are many residents who feel alone here in SL, and are at a loss to figure out what to do to change this. As a result, many of them do leave, and never come back.

However, there is a lot one can do to make their Second Life a social and active environment. This does take a bit of self-honesty, if you are willing to do that. Here is a list of questions and suggestions:

1.     Am I really lonely? Do I really want to be with other people, or do I just think I should be with other people?

Believe it or not, there’s nothing wrong with enjoying solitude. Our society places a great emphasis on being with others, and folks who enjoy their own company can often feel different or excluded. The fact is that Second Life seems to attract many people who are content with creating and exploring without chatting or being around other residents. DrFran enjoys the solitude of creativity quite often. I say this so that those among you who feel this way might know that really it is OK. I am going to assume, Lonely, by what you have written, that you are not a happy loner.

2.     If I determine I do want to meet other people, then I have to think about a few things? Most important is the question of interest. What is it you like doing, Lonely?

You mentioned exploring the grid and chatting with others. As I said above, it is crucial to be doing the things you like to do in Second Life in order to meet people with whom you might have things in common. For example, like many people in Second Life, I like music. When I was a new avatar, I went to many concerts, and found that the performers I liked attracted people that I liked. But, that’s not enough. The only way that other people get to know me is if I talk. So, when I went to concerts, I started to participate in the conversations that always go on in open chat, no matter how compelling the performance. If you stand there an wait for things to happen, you will never meet people. I understand how shy people can be intimidated by the prospect of having to share in a populated environment, so there are other things I have done to ease myself into social situations:

a.     Do something where the conversations and interactions are expected in the event: Trivia and building classes are two events where talking around the task is structured in. If those don’t work for you, find something that requires you to speak about something in particular. You mentioned the events listing…they can still be found on the bottom of the website dashboard page. They are not as user friendly as they used to be, but they do exist.

b.     Get involved in a charity: Some of the best friends I have made in Second Life are the people that I worked with on the American Cancer Society’s Relay for Life. For many years I have helped with building and events, and this has helped me to develop relationships that continued beyond the event.

c.      Join a group: Group chat is often broken, but when it is not, it is a great way to chat anonymously with like-minded people. One of the easiest ways to meet people is to join a group that is involved in a hunt. The Peace on Earth Hunt Group had many members, and they chatted about the hunt and other things all the time. I have a friend who met a good friend from that group.

3.     Be honest with yourself about what you want.

At the risk of repeating myself: Do what you really like here in Second Life. The relationships will develop if you are true to yourself. It may sound crazy, but I have always been a lover of canals, and in my attempts to recreate canals with working locks here, I have met and become friends with a wide assortment of residents. Builders, scripters, geeks and the like were attracted to my interest, and we developed friendships that persist to this day. I don’t have a working canal at this moment, but I still have the friends.

I hope all of this is helpful to you, Lonely. There are ways to create a Second Life that more naturally invites other people into it. Anyone out there you has ideas on how to meet people is welcome to contact me with ideas and suggestions.

Take care, until next week.

Hugs,

DrFran Babcock

Bain Finch's Fundraiser for Aryon Dagger

By Bixyl Shuftan

Om Sunday January 6, Relay for Life member Bain Finch held an event for friend and fellow Relayer Aryon Dagger. Aryon's computer had broken and she couldn't afford a new one, just as she was facing surgery for cancer followed by weeks of recovery. So Bain talked to a few other friends, and they set up a DJ music event high over the Lemonia sim. Bain wanted to keep things somewhat quiet at first, wanting the event to be a surprise. But on the day of the benefit, it was out and clear in the open.

The event began at 10AM SL time with Vic Mornington DJing. I dropped in shortly after 11 with Bcreative Wild playing the music. Later on, Madonna Daehlie and Nuala Maracas would DJ at 12 and 1PM respectively. The place was on the inside of a sphere with the appearance of partying in the middle of space. Among the others there were Avariel Falcon in his dark unicorn avatar, Panza Eilde, Saffia Widdershins, and more. One was in a green alien avatar. Arnold (Gager) of Steelhead wraped himself up in a Christmas box, getting some chuckles, "Arnold, I don't know why, but I want to open you (laughter)." "You know cats and boxes."

During the event, the people sent words of encouragement to Aryon, which Bain relayed to her, "Hey Aryon. Go ahead and eat all the good stuff that I can't eat. You need your strength to get well, so we can all meet up in Florida." "We all love you, Aryon, and we're all with you!" "Aryon, we are all with you in this fight, till we all emerge victorious over the evil C, biggest Huggs."

The words truly touched Aryon's heart, "I cannot begin to tell you all what this means to me. I asked (Bcreative) to play this song for you all because you DO open my eyes when I cannot see through the tears, you DO give me breath after you have taken it away with the strength and love you share not only with me but all those on the dark journey. Bain and Panza, you have listened to my rants and raves, my laughter and tears and I cannot thank you enough. To everyone who has offered support and hugs and donated ... I WILL not give up ... I fight for you ALL. Thank you and I love you all SO much." these words were followed by the song, "Thank you for loving me."

Yours truly had to leave early, but I did get a message from Bain Finch later, "DONE!! (We) raised enough for Aryon and I'm at loss for words on how to thank every one." A few days later, Bain announced that the surgery had been a success and the cancer appeared not to have spread. Aryon was on her road to recovery, which would take several weeks. And thanks to Bain, she would stay in touch with her friends.

Bixyl Shuftan

Adventures in Cadair

By Grease Coakes

 

A friend of mine Inhandra Birdsong told me that when she wasn’t in Second Life for a while that she was on under a different name in a roleplaying sim. I actually found this out when Aurora Avila asked where she was. When I IMed Inhandra and told her that, she told me about Cadair, the roleplaying sim she role-plays at.

 

What’s Cadair? It’s a medieval roleplaying sim that takes lots of patience, but the patience can be rewarding as you role-play a character in a medieval magical environment. I put together an old B@R clothes set and some bow and arrow props to make myself look like a ranger type of character which would mesh well with my green Tokushi griffin avatar.

 

New to roleplaying? Not to worry the players there will assist you to craft your roleplaying into a richer part of everyone’s addition to the roleplay experience. Furries and humans are both welcome as I ran into both human characters and furries. The first character I ran into was a mute woman named Birala when I role-played that I was new to Cadair as a ranger searching for a “Bow of Destiny.” Even if with her name above her head I pretended I didn’t know her name. She invited me to her house using hand motions. Each motion of explaining what your character is doing is about a paragraph or two so there’s lots of typing involved. Later she told me her name through a scroll she handed to me from her belt.

 

She was helpful to me reminding me to use quotation marks when I spoke to make it clear what I was saying and doing were kept separate. Very quickly I improved as my adventure began in Cadair. I role-played along helping her prepare fish and eel that she brought home with her. She got upset with me, gesturing when I chopped up too many vegetables for her stew. I stopped helping her and went to the table instead. She told me of demons to the west to be careful of. I asked her about the "Bow of Destiny" I was hunting for as part of my character story. She had no idea shaking her head no.

The Bow of Destiny as I explained in RP “Would let the clumsiest farmer or the most skilled archer hit any target without fail.” Birala ventured away to Real Life having to leave the sim so I wandered around some more running into merlin and some child characters. Then a minotaur walked over asking me to accompany her to the infirmary. She asked for my allegiance to the land of Cadair. Playing along I said sure that I may find the Bow of Destiny helping the land.

 

Walking along with Vilge the Minotaur I walked into some more people talking about demons and other things. Vilge who crashed requested that I tag along to help her something. Learning the hard way I found out this was a bad idea. Read along and find out why.

 

Following Vilge for a short walk she led me to an underground cave which happened to be the warded moonpool of werewolves! Wait werewolves? In my character’s words “If there was a mad cow disease its name would be Vilge for leading me here. “

 

I roleplay myself jumping on to a ledge and shooting the alpha werewolf in his shoulder, but instead his mate Violet takes the arrow instead. Next the child named Saliu next to me morphs into a werewolf (WAIT she was a werewolf? I didn’t know that she was) and she pins me to the ground.  Luckily for me her clan mates bite her ear to get her off of me. All I had was an arm bruise wound.

 

To make this interesting, the minotaur character was called away for business and the same for the alpha werewolf character named Maral. I roleplayed action with the remaining characters, however Vilge comes back and asks technical questions. Luckily my actions were valid and Vilge did nothing so my actions were not voided. A RP overseer, like a dungeon master, came by and ruled in my favor.

 

When Maral came back as well, we continued the roleplay to me being led to a firepit. Saliu seeing me was enraged again as I shot one of her parents. Once again her clan mates intervened as I flew away, stating out of character, then I flew far enough to escape their clutches. A lot of the characters said I did a great job of paragraph roleplay for my first day in Cadair. I was also told that having a RP overseer intervene is a rare occurrence. So it was neat to see a RP issue handled first hand.

 

Looking for something new and exciting within Second Life? Check out the Medieval roleplay sim Cadair. Just be patient with others and if real life gets in the way there’s not much you can do about that. 

 

Whatever you do DON’T FOLLOW THE MINOTAUR!

 

Grease Coakes

Ask DrFran: It’s All About Perception

Dear DrFran: I don’t think it’s the lack of face-to-face First Life contact that caused the problem I am about to share with you. I think it was a difference in worldview. I just closed out a chapter in my Second Life that causes me a lot of emotional pain. I wonder over and over how I could have so missed the mark.

My guy and I didn’t meet and start the usual whirlwind SL relationship of: 1) hello; 2) let’s have sex; 3) let’s be a couple; 4) that’s enough; 5) good-bye. We were united over an interest in building and creating, and that’s what brought us together. He IMed me one day to discuss something he noted in my profile while we were both in the audience of the old Show and Tell. The more we talked, the more we found that we had similar interests in travel, culture and were both fanatical lovers of the wonder that is Second Life. We chatted pretty regularly for almost eight months before we actually spent any time together. I invited him over to my land to see a build I was working on. Thus began almost three years of just about daily contact, hours and hours of time logged building together, creating a sim, and talking, talking, talking. In the entire time I was with him, I was not ever bored or looking for topics to discuss. We were both interested in many things and interested in each other’s interests. I learned a lot from him, and I believe he learned a lot from me.

The only fly in the ointment was the way we fought, which we did with increasing frequency as time went on. Our fights usually started with me getting angry at him because he didn’t log in until I had waited many hours, or he was critical of the things I was building. I guess that’s not such unusual stuff, but as time went on it seemed that our differences were irreconcilable. When I got angry, he would just get angry back, and we descended into yelling back and forth without any common ground. No matter how many times I told him that I got angry because I cared, he just refused to accept this and move an inch in making peace. He brought up ex-girlfriends in SL all the time, despite the fact that I told him, assertively and calmly that this behavior upset me. I asked him not to do this, and he did. Eventually, we just could not come to any reasonable compromise with each other. From my standpoint, every attempt I made to tell him that I cared was met with a list of all the things I had done wrong. Despite my feelings for him, which persist to today, it had to end. I feel like a junkie without my drug. I went from knowing there was someone to talk to, to having a hole in the fabric of my Second Life.

I wish there had been some way to let him know that I really cared for him—his intelligence, humor, building and scripting skills, and just how zany he could be. However, this is done. I know I will eventually get over this, but what could I have done differently.   

Lonely on the Mainland.


Dear Lonely: I am sorry for the pain you are feeling now. There is probably no worse pain than that of a lost relationship. You have asked what you could do differently, so I will not comment on your significant other’s behavior. Besides, you said you two see things differently, thus I don’t know how accurate your descriptions of his behavior might be.

I can say some things to you. Yes, I know you are hurt. Yes, I know that you cared about this guy. Yes, you had a real and long relationship with him, and unlike many others DrFran believes it’s all real here. You can run, but you can’t hide from who you are.

That said, a lot of the things that you did were designed to push him away. (NOTE: In the interest of protecting the anonymity of this avatar, I removed some details about events that occurred, but my answer reflects some of this additional information) Nobody likes folks who are demanding and needy. I understand that you cared about him, but responding to his lack of logging in with anger could only serve to alienate and anger him. I am not blaming you; I am trying to help you see what he might have perceived. If you really cared about him, the best thing would have been to ignore his attempts at angering you by mentioning ex-girlfriends. Each time you got enraged, you pushed him further away.

People are so imperfect, me, you, your ex. When we care about someone we learn to make peace with what we see as their faults and shortcomings, or we decide not to accept and leave.

Lonely, if you are lucky enough to enter another relationship see if you can: Live and Let Live a little. You sound like a caring person, and I hope you can learn to lay back a bit, and let people be who they are. Meanwhile, I hope you have other friends and interests to engage your time. If not, ask yourself why you invested so much in just one person. You used the word “addict,” and I hope that you care for people rather than get addicted to them. Hugs and best wishes. DrFran

If you have a question for DrFran Babcock, please send her a notecard, or you can email at: DrFranBabcock@mac.com

DISCLAIMER: Ask DrFran is not meant to reflect a professional mental health opinion, nor necessarily the opinions of SL Newser. The primary purpose of this column is entertainment and journalism.

ADDENDUM: A reader contacted me following the Weighty Issues column of last week with some very good, different, and perspective changing views on overweight, health, and society’s thoughts about obesity. The reader used facts, research and logic to dispute my opinion that obesity presents health problems. If anyone reading this is interested in receiving the scholarly information on this topic, please email me at the above address.

Ask DrFran: Weighty Issues

Dear DrFran: 

I’m asking you this question, because I know that you know about mental health and self-improvement. If you don’t think it belongs here, could you just answer me privately, because I really need help with this.

Second Life is a perfect place to hide from the realities of daily life, and to avoid confronting problems. I am morbidly obese. While I have seen a few overweight avatars, they are usually for fun and laughs, because people who are fat are funny to most folks. However, my avatar is quite hot, and that’s how I want it to be. I say all this as an introduction to what I really want to say, and because it’s almost 2013.

Every year I make a resolution to lose weight, and every year I last for a few weeks before I am binging again. After the first binge there is no way that I could hate myself more. Yet, no matter what I do, I can’t tolerate the thought of never having another piece of chocolate or French fries.

I have tried all kinds of weight loss schemes, and no matter what I do, I end up going back to the old foods. I eat them for comfort, for peace of mind, and just because I like them. Help me to stick to my resolution this year. Help me to look more like my avatar. Thanks.  

Broken Promises


Dear Broken: If I were talking to you in First Life, I would never disclose personal information, but since we are virtual I will tell you this: I have maintained a large weight loss for 27 years, and I never, ever, ever make New Year resolutions.

Before you say: She must have tremendous will power, let me tell you also that I have horrid will power. What I do have is both the desire to remain slim along with some tricks that help me to keep from binging.

First of all, I don’t allow myself to think about not having French Fries ever again. I do the same thing the folks in Alcoholics Anonymous do, which is take things one day at a time. Instead of never having chocolate sundaes, I tell myself that I won’t have one today, and that if I want one tomorrow, I will deal with that then. Then tomorrow comes, and I say I won’t have one today. So far, this has worked for me.

Second, I got together a support group of women who wanted to lose weight, too. We connect on the phone, in text, or in person, to share how we are doing with our food plans. When the food is calling me from the kitchen, I get on the phone and vent my frustrations. Usually, my friends and I come to the decision that no food is going to change the way I feel in a meaningful way. In other words, a box of cookies is not going to bring back the guy who dumped me, or get me a better mark on a school paper.

Third: A food plan is a necessary tool in any weight loss program. After all these years I still follow pretty much the same food plan I started with 27 years ago! I never call this a diet any more. What I have is a plan for eating and living. I did go to a nutritionist in the beginning. Over time I have added and eliminated some foods from what I eat. How do I know what to cut out? That food that “calls” to me from the cupboard or refrigerator, it has to be removed from my food plan. Sometimes, it takes a while for me to accept that, but I really want to remain healthy more than I want to have what I want when I want it. Usually, my need to have something NOW is a warning that it’s not good for me. That goes for food, drink, men, etc.

I know you are saying: Big deal, you’ve been skinny now for a long time…what about someone who has been fat for so long? I will quote the philosopher Hillel, and ask: If not now; when? Please Broken, obesity is surely a killer. My parents recently moved to a retirement community, and I was surprised that all of the residents were of average weight or less. It took me a while to realize that obese people probably didn’t live long enough to make it to one of these communities.

So, while you are at your Second Life New Year festivities, resolve to make no resolutions, and begin the year by saying: Just for today I will eat in a way that is good for me.

I find also, that logging into Second Life instead of eating can sometimes fill my desire for food. I use Second Life as a distraction and weight loss tool when I am obsessing about sweets. I wish you all the luck in your endeavors. DrFran

If you have a question for DrFran Babcock, please send her a notecard, or you can email at: DrFranBabcock@mac.com

PS: Photo Credit. The photo was shot at: Sirenes et Moineaux Patisserie, Alchemy Immortalis (49, 39, 65), an amazing build.

DrFran Babcock

Ask DrFran: I Don’t Want to Live Any More.

Dear DrFran:

I have been unable to sleep for days now, since my friend, Mia, disappeared from Second Life. I feel completely responsible for what happened, and will never forgive myself if she kills herself.

What happened was this: Mia and I have been good friends for some time in Second Life. We are hunt buddies, and fashionistas. About a month ago I met a guy here, and we have been spending more and more time together. Since then, Mia has become more and more upset with me, accusing me of not really being her friend, and of having never really liked her anyway.  She also tells me my boyfriend is no good, just using me, and will eventually leave me. None of this is true. She just seems a little needy to me, and now she may have done something horrible.

Things came to a head the other night, two days ago. Mia logged in and told me that she would not be in Second Life any more, that she had no friends here, that the people she hung out with all really hated her anyway, and she was going to kill herself. I asked her if she meant in Second Life or in First Life, too? She told me both, logged, and I haven’t seen her since.

What if I am the one that caused her to kill herself? Can you help me?                                                           

Depressed and scared

Dear Depressed:

First: Promise me you will not blame yourself for what happened. Stop and think about this logically for a moment. Is there really anything you can do if someone you don’t really know tells you they are going to kill themselves? You are not to blame. Yes, Mia sounds a bit dramatic, and may have been upset that you were spending more time with your new boyfriend. In spite of this, you in no way are responsible for what she intended to do or not do, and Mia may be suffering from a severe depression.

Depression is a real illness, and one of the symptoms of depression is a desire to die. DrFran (I talk about myself in the third person when I am very, very serious) takes suicide at face value. If someone in First Life told me they wanted to die, I would not let them out of my sight, I would call 911 or some other emergency services, and I would make sure they were in a safe place before I left their side.

Anyone who threatens suicide in Second Life to people who have no way to contact them is either not serious about the act, or is very serious and does not want to be stopped.

The human will to live is very strong, and someone who can overcome that enough to try to take his or her life is suffering horribly. At this holiday time, it is important to watch for signs that someone may be contemplating taking their life. However, it is not your responsibility to do this in Second Life.

If anyone reading this is feeling suicidal, has plans and the means to commit suicide: I know you may feel that there are no options left, but what you are feeling is the disease of depression talking to you. There is help.

In the U.S., call 1-800-273-8255

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Internationally: http://www.suicidehotlines.com/international.html A joyous and healthy holiday season to you all. DrFran

Racer Island Awards Night

By Grease Coakes

 

The Racer Islands I reported on last month had a great dinner party in formal attire to celebrate the Christmas season and the champs for their fall racing season. Following the instructions from the notice I found an ice rink around the large oval track. What was neat instead of just walking there I found a horse an open sleigh like the Christmas song “in a one horse open sleigh”. After a few minutes the scripted horse took me to an indoor ice rink with a few tables inside. Like the Bay City Christmas tree lighting you could skate around on the ice rink with ice skates with skating ao/s. However to skate I had to turn my male AO off.

What’s great about Racers Island is the community itself. Walking to the party I was greeted right away by regulars like Nella and Doll. Eddie Mathieson himself the owner of the sim complimented me on the previous article I wrote about his sim. After some social chat over voice chat and emoteage from Doll Kabuki using emotes to say yes or lol as the official RI Mascot. Doll Kabuki also helps with the coding and scripting of the cars. After wards we sat down at the circle tables as Eddie walked onto stage and announced the winners of both the drift car and stock car races. As he announced each winner everyone emoted "applause" or "hoo!" like emotes. I sat at a table with David Wetherby and his lady friend Shelly who seemed to love the ears on my fox avatar. When I told her that I was putting this in the article she responded, “ohhhh, but I do.”

 

David Wetherby who was rookie of the year came in first place for the 2012 fall stock series followed by Doll Kabuki in second. Upshaw24 Resident and Jahbith Laville were both rookies for stock cars. One of the rookies of the year was Zeustorm for the Drift car series. He came in sixth place. He spoke French softly over voice chat. Biggs Braham won first place for the drift car fall series while Eddie Mathieson came in second. Another award went to Nella Boccara as manager of the year.

 

David said jokingly that he used Vaseline to make his car go faster to bounce against the walls like a pinball. However the truth was that he practiced 100 or so laps a day to get the twists and turns down packed. After the awards Eddie revealed new cars for the upcoming winter season scripted by Yuriko Nishi. The new season to play with the new cars is Jan 6^th at 5:30 SL time for stock cars. The winter season for Drift cars starts Jan 10^th also at 5:30pm. The new textures were prepared by Doll Kabuki and Scottie Easterman who do custom cars textures for the racers.

 

After Eddie announced all the awards and places of the fall season Dj Tazz started djing rock for the party. Just like real life, the party was filled with people talking over voice chat. People were arguing which was better Celsius or Fahrenheit and other silliness and random talk.

 

All in all Racers Island is a fun to hang out at. With a new season forthcoming and new cars it seems like an exciting time to visit and be around the sim. Even if you don’t want to participate in the races there’s still tracks to cruise around in with a freebie vehicle or your very own bike or car that you bought yourself. There’s also the demolition derby held every Saturday night at 6pm SL time if you’d rather smash and bash. Not only is Racers Island a great place to drive around in, the people around and involved in the sim are fun to hang around. Drive on by and check out the new season.

 

Grease Coakes

Ask DrFran: One Fur the Books

By DrFran Babcock

My latest inquiry deals with a topic that I call the last frontier in Second Life: Gender.

Dear DrFran: 

I am sure I am not the first one to have had this problem, but I don’t really know where to go with it. So here goes…

I am a male, tan fox in Second Life, and I fancy myself rather a handsome one at that. I have spent time at Luskwood and Sunweavers and even The Ink Spot. But I was looking for a different place to hang out one day, and went to one of the many nude beaches. I am sure that you will understand that I don’t want to be too specific about details in my story.

It was at this nude beach that I met a female white tiger whose avatar just knocked me out. She was pretty and winsome, and I was immediately attracted. Even better, when we started to IM, we found that we had a lot of musical interests that were similar, and loved the same movies. This woman, whom I will call Silvercat, even knew a bit of building and scripting—two of my favorite activities in Second Life, beyond meeting beautiful furs. We hit it off so well that we planned to meet at a sandbox the following day to chat and build and show off things we had made. It turned out that she was very skilled in creating furniture and texturing it to be just perfect to my taste. I could see that I had really found a soul mate. After spending some time building, at which she really excelled, we went to a furry club, and danced the night away, chatting and laughing. 


I suppose I should have suspected something was amiss when she wouldn’t do voice chat with me. She told me she didn’t have a lot of money, and that she didn’t have a headset, and that her computer was too old to handle all the bells and whistles of Second Life. I guess I agreed to accept this explanation. (In retrospect, I might have asked to phone her. Surely she had a telephone.)


Eventually, our relationship moved to intimacy, and I was thrilled at the intensity, humor, and creativity of her cyber skills. We became inseparable, and I started to think of asking her to partner with me, and move to my house. She was not a premium member, did not rent land, and did seem to have limited income. 


We continued to talk, laugh, make love, and I was completely in heat. On a Saturday night, while we strolled on a furry-friendly island, I asked her to be mine. She told me she would think about it and let me know the next day. She then logged out, and I was left stupefied: Let me know???

Well, you might guess what came next; or maybe you won’t. Silvercat logged in the next day, and began her IM by telling me she had something to tell me. To spare you all the details, she let me know that she was actually a guy, and apologized for leading me on without telling me. Then she un-friended me and logged.


Here is my dilemma. I did not get angry at what was surely a betrayal of me. I am creeped out that I was with a man, but the fact is, that I didn’t know, and I really have strong feelings for her, um, him. He hasn’t answered any of my IMs, and I guess I will have to just take the time to heal. I understand that. What I don’t understand is why someone would do that to somebody, and how can I keep it from happening again? 

Feeling Unfoxy


Dear Feeling, First, I am sorry for the emotional pain you must be experiencing. I said above that gender is the final frontier in Second Life. As a female, what I have learned is that people exist along a continuum of ways in which they relate to gender, identity, and finally honesty.

I am someone who has always been honest about whom I am in Second Life, and I know a LOT of, mostly men, who openly play female avatars, and a few women playing men. However, playing a female avatar, not revealing it, and entering into a relationship with another avatar, is, in my opinion, unethical and mean.

I know I am in the minority in this belief. I am a lover of Second Life, and I read the forums, have gender discussions with peers, and generally consider myself to be open-minded. Being dishonest with someone to the point that it hurts his or her feelings is wrong. Yes, most of the men with whom I speak see Second Life as a role-play game. Their view is often: “Well, if this person wants to engage with me, it’s not my fault that they don’t know. That’s the risk they take.”

Feeling, I don’t think you have to worry at all that you are a homosexual, if that’s a problem for you. You responded to this “woman” as a male, because, to you, that’s what she was. Moving forward, I would make these few suggestions:

If you are really looking for a relationship, and your loving descriptions of Silvercat make me think you are, I would ask for gender information from the start. Yes, I know many view that as an invasion, or inappropriate. Saying something like: “ I was really hurt by entering into a relationship with someone who turned out to be a guy. I have to know that you are not a guy,” is an honest way of requesting integrity from another avatar. I wouldn’t ask this question until I was close to the point of wanting to cyber. I will assume by that point that you want more of a relationship, but, being female I could be wrong (wink).

Of course, voice is always an option. I find that folks who have their voices modified are easy to detect.

Most of all … be careful about self-deception. Some of us, myself included, may want things so much that we are willing to overlook details that are important. You knew that not wanting to voice was a clue to something. Your decision to ignore it not only let you continue your belief in your soul mate, but probably gave Silvercat the message that you were willing to believe.

I wish you much luck in your future endeavors. Be careful with your heart. It might help to say a prayer to Silvercat like this: I forgive you for not being what I wanted you to be. I forgive you, and I release you.


Dr Fran Babcock


If you have questions you would like to have answered, please IM me or drop a notecard. I would love to hear from you.

More on the Mos Espa "Star Wars" Sim Closing

Last week on Nov 26, it was reported that the Mos Espa sim, a location for roleplaying by several "Star Wars" groups, would be closing down in two days. Daniel Voyager wrote that the sim owner stated the reasons were "due to real life and Second Life issues."

Mos Espa in the "Star Wars" movies was a small city on the desert world of Tatooine, where the young Anakan Skywalker lived in "The Phantom Menace" (In "A New Hope," Luke Skywalker and  Obi-Wan Kenobi get off the planet through Mos Eisley). A notecard from the sim described the town in it's RP with the following: "Mos Espa is only one town on Tatooine, it is known to be a dangerous place under control of multiple Hutt Clans. With one of the most harsh environments for a planet, the sun is burning hot. Temperatures are high and storms blow up with winds of sand ripping through the town slowly eroding all in is way. Residents of the town are often seen in basic style robes and hoods to protect themselves from the sand storms and sun."

The role-play is described as taking place long after the events in the movies. Under the rules, the Nasiri Clan was the only one open to players, the rest being represented by NPCs in plots. Among the groups in the sim were the Nasirii Hutt Clan, the Nasirii Enforcers (guards and security), Nasirii Entertainment (dancers and staff), and Nasirii Hutt Clan Contracts (smugglers and freelance traders).

Going through the sim, there were a number of buildings around the place, some more detailed than others. In one corner was a Jawa sand trawler with a few banthas (beast of burden and meat source). One building I came across was a bar, the "Last Shot Cantina." The Star Wars Roleplay Wiki describes the place as having had different people employed as managers, but all having failed to make enough money to please its Hutt owners. Looking around the place, there was a working music player. Two special events the notecard described the role-play as having time to time were Pod Races, and "Miss Galaxy" beauty contests. As for how to end the RP, Daniel Voyager wrote that the last act had, "The role-play will be about a Sith betrayal in the city and the destruction of Mos Espa."


One resident whom built much of the place was Glitch Tennant. Second Life Newser contacted him about the closing, and he responded, "I helped to build the sim. I got to play a bit, and be part of some good fun races. I was lucky to be asked to help build Mos Espa, and jumped at the chance. Really thanks goes to Wittsofwanda Zapatero, it was her sim she paid the bills and gave us all place to play."

"It's a shame to see the sim go, although thats part of Star Wars Roleplay. Players will continue on in story, and find other places to make home. I wish 'em all well, and it was a joy to see some of the stories made on Mos Espa. The players bring the life to any sim, and that's just magic. Happy RP to all."


Sources: Daniel Voyager, SWRP Wiki

Bixyl Shuftan

Ask DrFran: Advice From Someone Who Rarely Follows It

By DrFran Babcock


With this post I will begin a new column/service in the venerable SL Newser: Ask DrFran. In over seven years in Second Life I have come to realize that there are certain themes to the difficulties and joys of this virtual world.

I am here to help. We all know the issues that show up again and again in Second Life: Fidelity, Gender, Love, Drama, etc.

Our first candidate has been through something maybe you yourself may have experienced:


Dear DrFran:

 I rezzed in May of 2008, and had no idea where to go or what to do. I went to the Morris Info.avihub on my first day in Second Life where I met the guy I will call Wolfbain. He was a lifesaver, showing me how to move around, build, buy clothes, find freebies, and chat with other residents. I was so grateful to him, that I agreed to visit his house on what I now know is the Mainland. He had a lovely bachelor pad, with plenty of intimate seating, and a place to chat by a roaring fireplace. I was hooked. Wolfbain and I spent every day of the next few years together, chatting in text and voice, sharing details about our First Lives, and becoming closer than any two people I have even known. We partnered several months into our relationship.

The change in our relationship started slowly. I would log in to find that he was not in what had become our home. I could map him, and realized he was hanging out in some clubs, on the newly created continent of Zindra—the adult continent. One day I logged in to find that I no longer had mapping privileges, and when I IMed Wolfbain, he would not return home for several minutes, if at all.

Of course I confronted him, and he denied that anything had happened. What happened after that has perplexed and hurt me to this day. Wolfbain completely stopped logging in as Wolfbain. I knew the names of several of his alts, and could see that one of them was online often. I was becoming so enraged with this, that I went as an alt to one of the places to which I had mapped Wolfbain when I still had mapping rights on him. I found him with a “slave” in a bondage room, and while I wanted to scream at him, I just teleported back to my now empty home.

It’s been months, and Wolfbain no longer answers my emails, IMs, even phone calls (Yes, we had exchanged phone numbers, and spoke on the phone when SL was not available.) I am in emotional agony. We were so close, so intimate, so loving. How could this have happened? Am I a fool or what? Please help. 

Lonely on the Mainland.



Dear Lonely,

I am very sorry you had to have such a sad ending to your story, and, no, you are not a fool. I am sure that there are dozens of residents who can tell the same or similar story.

No matter how close we get to another avatar here in Second Life there is no way to ensure that they will be faithful or honest or act with integrity. It’s just too easy to rez another avatar, and be another “self.” There is no doubt that anyone reading this will think that Wolfbain acted honorably. However, that does nothing for your pain and sorrow.

Some tips to help you recover and move on, because that’s really what you need to do, are offered here. Some of these come from my own First and Second Life learning experiences:

1) When you make the break, it’s best to really make it. Do not think you can be friends (at least not initially), still talk, and that your partner will come back. I know it’s sad, but it is so much better to get through the loss, rather than prolong it and hope things will change. It’s very, very seldom that this happens. Your Wolfbain has made it clear he does not want to be with you any more. Ouch, it’s painful, but believing a lie is more excruciating—believe me.

2) Do not stalk your ex. They will think you are mad, you will feel mad, and you may even become mad in the process. In fact, I have found that the less I know, the faster the pain goes away.

3) Although it may not be something you believe, in time the pain will pass. I remember waking up and crying and crying and crying, and one day I woke up and I didn’t cry.

4) DO NOT get involved in another relationship right away. I hope it’s not too late for this tip. Running from one person to the next will never allow you to mourn the loss, learn from your triumphs and mistakes, and grow and become better at doing relationships.

Lonely, I hope you can make use of these tips, and that you will let me know how you make out. There is no greater pain than that we inflict on each other, but there is also no greater joy.

If you have an issue or a question, just send me a notecard. Let me know if you want me to use your avatar name or an anonymous name, and I will do my best to respond. You may not always be pleased with my response, but know that it will be genuine and that I will validate your experience.

DrFran Babcock

Culture and Fun

By Gemma Cleanslate

Linden Lab lost me for a week.  Now I am back!! 

Sunday I attended the opening of the very first "Culture and Fun" exhibit of a wonderful artist, Pan Yuliang. "Culture and Fun" is a group that sends out very interesting notices everyday with quotes and historical perspectives. ”We occupy with cultural things in widest sense. This includes  every kind of music, the belles-letters, poems, philosophy, history, painting, architecture and all other more or minor aesthetic and fine arts” is the group vision. Now they are starting a new venture of exhibits by artists that not only display their art but give you a wonderful background on the artist. 

Pan Yuliang is recognized world wide as China’s first modern artist. She had an extraordinary life and career which paralleled that of Modern China. She was born under the Empire, sold into prostitution, bought by a revolutionary, was the first woman to attend art school, the first to study with men, the first to study overseas, the first to exhibit solo and the first to combine Western and Chinese artistic techniques. And she produced exquisite art. 

Her entire history is available in several languages at the exhibit.  I recommend that you visit the exhibit which will end . The group founder, Lizzy Pleides, told me that the exhibit was put together by Tessa Zalivstok and Jaelle Faerye. There will be more exciting exhibits to see . This one will be there until November 25 or perhaps longer.

 http://slurl.com/secondlife/The%20Seduction/219/20/200

 For more on Pan Yuliang, check out this Wikipedia article.

Gemma Cleanslate

Virtual Ability Hosts "Health Literacy" Discussion

On Sunday November 4, Gentle Heron at Virtual Ability Island hosted a discussion on "Health Literacy." "I see some in the audience are health care educators," she told everyone after greeting them, "I suspect others of us will find useful information here for our own areas of work."

Zsuzsa Tomsen and ALiesel were the presenters of the discussion. Susan Toth-Cohen in real life, Zsuzsa "is the Director of the Occupational Therapy Doctoral Program and Professor at Thomas Jefferson University in Philadelphia, PA," Gentle told everyone, "She has extensive experience teaching and presenting in SL. She is an occupational therapist specializing in gerontology and consumer health. ALiesel is an occupational therapy graduate student at Thomas Jefferson University in Philadelphia, She works with Zsuzsa in the Garden of Healthy Aging here in Second Life, and is very interested in health literacy."

The discussion was in text, with the audience asked to introduce themselves first. Among them was a "doctoral student," "a pediatrician, the department head of University of the Incarnate Word in San Antonio, Texas, and a vocational rehabilitation worker.

Zsuzsa and ALiesel had attended a health conference in Kobe Japan, "The conference … made us think about links between introprofessional teams and health literacy." He noted the conference had three main details" global perspectives, development of "interprofessional" education, and examination of results. Of health literacy, Zsuzsa described the definition by the Harvard School of Public Health, "the balance between literacy and verbal skills of a person compared to demands of the health materials, communication skills of health professionals and the health care system."

"Interprofessional education which I'll refer to as IPE," Zsuzsa went on, "is defined by the World Health Organization as being any time students from 2 or more professions learn about, with, and from each other with the goals of effective communication and improving health outcomes."

A screen behind them showed several illustrations as Zsuzsa talked, showing a few links. She talked about how, "IPE also makes health care safer by decreasing medical errors" and health mentors. She described the  University of British Columbia as a leader in IPE, "they've developed a fantastic interprofessional education series." ALiesel mentioned one project the Thomas Jefferson University started, "Since 2005, Jefferson has sent several IP teams of students to Rwanda. They have worked with Rwandan health care teams to train health professionals" in addition to working with them "to provide training in nutrition, hygiene, HIV/AIDS prevention, as well as providing education for the public through health fairs and other events."

There was some talk with the audience, one stating, " 'Nearly half of all American adults – 90 million people – have difficulty understanding and using health information, and there is a higher rate of hospitalization and use of emergency services among patients with limited health literacy,' the Institute of Medicine 2004." Near the end, Rachel Gloedu brought up, "We are inviting volunteers from the SL community to observe and evaluate medical and nursing students undergoing teamwork training in communication skills this month."

At the close, Gentle Heron, gave all her thanks, "Thank you all for coming today. And special thanks to Zsuzsa and ALiesel for sharing a few of the things they learned on their trip to Japan." "We enjoyed it so much!" Zsuzsa responded, "Great audience!"

Two links given during the discussion were:

http://www.healthliteracy.org.uk/seminar-presentations-to-download

http://www.jeffersonhospital.org/News/2011/December/thomas-jefferson-university-jeff-health-hosts-medical-students-from-rwanda.aspx

The Second Life Enquirer recently wrote on Virtual Ability Island: article here.

Bixyl Shuftan

Halloween Fun All Over Second Life

by Grease Coakes

I got an invite last night on Halloween eve to a great Halloween party at club Zero Gravity organized by Jasmine who is Bixyl Shuftan’s girlfriend.  I was surrounded by spooky party goers in great costumes. It was packed. Bixyl told me Jasmine put a lot of work into the Halloween party designing the set and DJing the music. She did a great job. She played Halloween music old and new, and an extended mix of Michael Jackson’s "Thriller." The speakers were made of pumpkins.

She set up a best in Halloween contest for 1000L or so for everyone, and then by surprise Nydia Tungsten the owner of Club Zero Gravity showed up and added 2,000L to the prize money making it a total of 3,000. I won a Halloween contest earlier that day as Guy Fawkes the revolutionary man in a mask from British culture. So I played fair and did not enter the contest wanting someone else to win. The prize winners were Kitacelia and Amaya. 

Looking through notices I saw ZZ studios was having a trick or treat event on Halloween day itself. That sounded like a definite treat. The notice explained that we could go to ZZ studios staff like Cindy Babii or Rhin Forti and say “Trick or treat!” The prize for saying that was a random ZZ studios trading card with various furries in adult themed clothing. The cards were from the Halloween season, so it was a nice treat. I myself am in one of these cards dressed in primitive clothing in loin cloths and spears paired up with Justin Foxchase. 

Finding Cindy Babii she looked like a zombie killer but she corrected me and told me she was dressed from the movie "Mad Max." I said “Trick or Treat!” and she rezzed an orb, which I clicked to get a random ZZ Studios card. When I wasn’t looking, Cindy tried to be sneaky and steal my car that I bought from a charity car show. (When I reported on the Hot Bay City car show earlier in the year) Luckily only I can drive the car, so Cindy was foiled in her car theft.

I found Rhin Forti in their movie theater. Just like Shockwave’s movie night ZZ studios has a place to play movies. Rhin herself was dressed up like a piranha plant from the Super Mario brothers game that pokes up from pipes to bite those pesky Mario brothers. She also gave me another card through the random orb. For kicks I drove past the zombie house and saw a Halloween party going on so I stopped by and chatted a little bit through voice and text. Throughout the day ZZ Studios was playing Orson Welles’s "War of the Worlds," "Zombie Land," and "Ghostbusters" 1 and 2 in that order in their movie theater.

Later in the Halloween day I got a teleport invite from Gemma to a Halloween party at the “Corner of Revolving Time.” DJ Qwark Allen was playing some cosmic and spooky psytrance. Gemma and Qwark were reapers with pumpkin heads, and I saw an avatar with a large skull head. Made me think of the show animanics and the character “Mr. Skullhead.” A friend of mine ShinyWhiteDragon was at Qwark’s party wishing me well for Samhain, another word for Halloween as the pagan holiday when the veil between the spiritual world and the physical is at its thinnest.

All in all I had fun partying with furries and humans for the fun holiday of Halloween. I didn’t get any chocolate or candy but I still had a lot of fun in SL’s various nooks and crannies.

Grease Coakes

The Art of Mikati Slade in Second Life

By Grease Coakes

 

Gemma, one of my co-workers for the SL Newser, told me about an amazing artist in Second Life at its version of the Burning Man festival, also known as Burn 2. Her name is Mikati Slade

As a digital artist from Japan Mikati studied classical sculpture and drawing at an art university. Looking at the stage she created, which is the largest in the Burn2 festival, it stands tall at 144 meters by 144 and it floats 25 meters off the ground. Mikati said the stage had to be off the ground for the Burn 2 festival. So what she did was build propellers like an airship from a studio ghibli movie. She also reduced the weight of all parts so it floated easily. Studio Ghibli is the animation studio headed by Hayao Miyazaki who made such flims as Spirited Away and Princess Monoke. Mitaki knew about those films. The DJ Obi Galli played lots of electronic tunes old and new for the party people at the Guru Guru stage. So long as I was dancing and talking to Mikati, there was always a lot of avatars like myself enjoying the great music and the graphical eye candy which Mitaki made.

 

Mitaki’s main influence is the Nintendo era of the 80’s with games like Super Mario and Megaman. When I warped to her Guru Guru stage, I was surrounded with bright colors and 8-bit graphical icons floating in a circle. The stage was packed with characters like what looked to me power rangers and sonic the hedgehog. There was even was even some mega man characters and me and her talked over video games. 

She mentioned that Capcom made the Mega Man series and also Street Fighter 2 games. In her words, the video game movement created a generation hooked on these types of games on the old Nintendo Entertainment System and the arcade revival from Capcom’s Street Fighter 2. That’s a certainly a valid point. Even someone who barely played video games was influenced by those video games one way or the other. I told Mitaki that I make shirts in Second Life based upon an old game I used to play on the Game Boy color.

 

But her Guru Guru stage wasn’t her first creation in Second Life. Mikati also created Kuru Kuru World for the Museums of Rome Capital. Using a LEA or Linden Endowment Arts grant she created Pico Pico Life from a full-sim land grant. Another of her achievements was The Cake at SL9B that took up four sims! I wonder how long and how many digital avatars it would take to eat such a massive cake.

 

Her artwork was also featured on her flicker page among other photos. One picture which really stood out was a pink 8-bit explosion which symbolized the nuclear bomb from the 1940’s that was dropped on Japan near the end of World War 2. It was used for the Burn 2 in 2010 called the pop atomic. In Mitaki’s words, it changed the Japanese culture forever and the 8-bit console were powerful symbols of 20^th century civilization. Or at least what’s viewed by Japanese culture.

 

Mitaki Slade was also jovial and fun to talk with. When I started talking with her she mentioned that she was in the SL Newser before about SL8B before. I told her it would be an honor to write about her and she seemed to appreciate that.

 

Grease Coakes: Oh really? Cool Well I’ll be glad to honor you again and publish an article about you for the Newser again.

 

Mikati Slade: Yayyy! I am really glad!

 

If you get the chance check out her artwork available on the internet or in second life. I had a fun time talking with her and seeing her art live at the Guru Guru stage.

 

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mikati/ 

Grease Coakes

Shockwave and the Sunweaver Movie Night

For a couple of years Shockwave Yareach has been treating the Sunweavers and any guests on their land to a movie night here in the land of Second Life. "Movies in SL? Never!" Well, actually it’s true. Shockwave every Sunday night at 6pm SL time, 9pm east coast time of the US, has picked a movie to show the Sunweavers. The Sunweavers being the furry group headed by Rita Mariner. I joined her group long ago and I never had a reason to drop them.

Long ago when I first learned about Shock’s movie night, the first movie I saw was the "Star Wars Christmas Special." I remembered a friend’s warning in real life to never watch it. Be warned though this movie is completely wretched I was only able to watch it with friends to make fun of it.  It also came complete with retro commercials. In Shock’s words it’s a neat time capsule, "Oh it's epically bad.  But it's so bad it's funny and with all the commercials, it is a great time capsule."

But don’t lose heart. Shockwave plays excellent movies as well as bad from new to old school. One time I mentioned I never saw the old animated movie “The Last Unicorn.” My friend Tantari Kim said it was a good movie that was a little scary for kids. Shockwave was nice enough to play that movie for me. I was surprised as it was like a bottle of old wine that aged well and was a joy to watch.

A couple other movies that come to mind was "UHF," the classic movie with Weird AL the oddball songwriter which makes parodies of popular songs. "Summer Wars" was an excellent Japanese animated film. It explored a near future where everyone had an avatar to explore the Internet, with someone’s avatar wrecking it. The animation was wonderful with amazing action. Shock also played “The Avengers” which just came out on DVD. I saw that in the theater recently and enjoyed watching it a second time.

Shockwave said the movie night for the Sunweavers was started by Jaxx Tardis. Sadly Jaxx was laid off in real life, so Shockwave took over. The pair still work together on the file conversions for every movie. I wished Jaxx good luck on finding a new job.

In addition to being the movie man for the Sunweavers or as Shockwave says “The Sunnies,” Shockwave also composes music parodies. Nydia Tungsen told me that he also wrote a funny song. Everyone might have heard the song “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.” Shock wrote a parody of it one Christmas season. All I can say was Grandma was drunk and regretted doing something with a reindeer. 

Shockwave has played lots of movies almost every week for his fellow Sunnies. If you would like to check out a movie night ask Rita Mariner for an invite to her group the Sunweavers. Shockwave has started a trend as the Disney cartoon movie "Robin Hood” was played at the furry club Anthroxtacy. Shockwave also takes requests. I mentioned not seeing "The Last Unicorn" and he put it as the movie the following week. He generally plays sci-fi movies, animated movies, and anything that goes with the season. Shockwave announces in the group chat what movie is showing and he’s a friendly guy to boot.

Grease Coakes

Editor's Note: Middle picture from the showing of "Madagascar 3."