SLife and Times: Banned For Looking Odd

By Bixyl Shuftan

For my furry friends at the Sunweaver/Angels community and elsewhere, one of their pet peeves is being harassed or banned about their appearance when they go out looking at different places and clubs. Some consider it common to the point they'll hang out only at places they know have other furs or call themselves "furry friendly."  Grease Coakes wrote about his experience, and I've written on the topic myself. Personally, I've found it a rare experience, though still annoying.

So it got my attention when a "coconuteater" wrote on "Blog Veridical" about being banned at a club "within three seconds of my avatar entering the building." He Instant-Messaged the owner, "Hello, why am I banned?" The owner's answer was, "I smell a lot of trouble, and I'm not up to it today." "Do you think I'm a griefer or something?" "So you think I'm an idiot?" While he didn't give his account name, he did show his appearance. This was a human avatar, but it was oddly porportioned, with a huge chest with wide shoulders, tiny arms, and big ears. He was also barefoot.

There were a number of comments after a link to the article was posted on the "Second Life Friends" group in Facebook. Some offered sympathy. Some suggested he simply go to a different club, "Shallow sl saddens me this is what it comes down to judging by a persons looks shame on all of them." "Even pixels get judged these days........sad times." Some were saying he needed to update his looks, "Thats the lesson here.. leave those noob looks back in the past where they belong. this is 2017 .. not 2005 .. noob feet ( AKA Duckfeet ) are out.. Noob hands out. block head.. out. layer clothing.. dead as dust." "If we were friends I'd strongly encourage you to improve appearance. You don't have to have a mesh body. ,,, Put some effort into making the visual experience more realistic or at least show you care about what you look like."

Others were saying his odd appearance was the kind favored by griefers, "I definitely think 'troll' seeing this avatar. ... you know what they say, first impressions matter." "I cant help but feel your intentions were to stir the pot, everyone knows that extreme noob looks are usually a griefers preferred appearance. If it was my club and i saw you come in looking like that, i would also be atleast worried drama was coming." "i have to admit u look like alot of the griefers ,j\s. nothing aginst u. jus really u look like a griefer" "If you've been in Second Life for more than a couple of years, and have been to clubs or gatherings - you KNOW that many (not all) griefers like to drastically deform their avies to look crazy. You know this. So if you're not a noob, why would you drastically deform yourself to look like a griefer? Come on now. Keep it real. People who've been griefed are going to have their guard up and when you manage a CLUB, you MUST keep a lookout for people who look every bit like a griefer. You don't wait for them to do it. ..." "That avatar looks like a classic griefer avatar."

And a few were saying yes, it did look like the stereotypical troll avatar, but avatars like these they encountered weren't always that. "That being said a lot of people have used this game to bully and harass people in a certain manner. You can understand why some people are so quick to judge, but it should really be by your actions not how you look." "There was a time when the 'different' avatars were the ones with big boobs, tans, perfect hair and giant pectorals. The avatars that people consider 'griefer' avatars were once the far, far more common avatar you'd see on the grid. Insisting on looking 'different' *is* a choice. Some people don't want to look like a cookie cutter copy of someone else's distorted notion of perfection, or acceptability. They just want to express themselves. Your comment reminds me of how outcasts were treated by the popular crowd in high school. As long as people don't act out, or have an avatar emitting giant Bill Cosbys, I say let them be. Even if you have had a rough day, ejecting people just because of their appearance is lazy."

One comment got my attention, "What it comes down to is how much time you are willing to put in to growing your group and making it a place for all... last night I had a potential griefer on my sim (1 day old, dressed like it and a naughty word name). So I TPed to him and asked him how he was doing... it took me a short ten minute conversation to find out that A) he was new and B) he was really liking SL... I made a friend, not a potential enemy down the road. A**hattery like the club owner pulled will make more enemies than friends...if you don't have an enemy before you ban someone, you usually do when after you do... in this case, an enemy that will post about you on his blog."

About the only thing most agreed upon was ultimately "his sim, his rules." Even those who sided with the writer, there was an admittance he was within rights to do what he did. They just felt he shouldn't have.

This isn't quite the same as the situation furs and other fantasy/sci-fi avatars such as faries and elves, who can spent plenty of time on their looks. But still, it brings to mind the old story of those who are different being singled out and being told they are not welcome.

Do you the readers have any stories of your own, or stories about handling someone new who stood out?

Scources: Blog Veridical , Facebook

Bixyl Shuftan

Commentary: Judging on Apperances

By Bixyl Shuftan

In real-life, Monday was Martin Luther King Jr. Day, a US holiday named after the noted civil-rights activist famous for his "I have a dream" speech in which he hoped for a day in which all people could ban together regardless of the color of their skin. This is also the week Barack Husein Obama, America's first President from a racial minority, leaves the White House. When he was elected a little over eight years ago, it was seen by many that the United States was entering a "Post-Racial Age." Unfortunately, the highly partisan atmosphere of the country led many to wonder if his most vocal opponents, or supporters, were motivated mainly by ethnic bias, if not outright racism. Ironically, the final days of the United States first black President, some feel black-white relations are at the lowest since the Civil Rights reforms of the 60s, if not even lower.

In Second Life, as it's residents can take on any appearance they want, one would think what they look like wouldn't matter wherever they went. That's not exactly the case. Various historical and sci-fi/Fantasy roleplay areas, such as "The Berlin 1920s Project," have stated unless you look like what someone in the time and place did/does, you can expect to be thrown out (after being given a warning). While this often means nonhuman avatars, human avatars wearing the wrong clothes will get thrown out as well. So the complaints about the RP sims have been minimal.

But what really irritates residents who prefer nonhuman avatars are the stories, if not personal experiences, about the handful of clubs and residential areas, meant not for roleplay but to just relax in, that have policies requiring visitors to be of human appearance only. Anyone who isn't gets thrown out. Grease Coakes would write about his experience with it at a club. I myself would write about the issue as well in 2009 and 2014. In my ten years I've only been asked to leave a place three times because of my appearance and two of them were probably the same location, the second time after someone invited me over to a venue suggesting it might be a great place to do a club review and afterwards never went there again. There were a few times someone handed me a notecard of the sim's dress code and once when a bot whispered to me that nonhuman avatars weren't welcome, but no further action was taken.

I've heard fans of furred avatars use the term "racism" to describe these experiences. I'm not so sure about that as we're not talking about human avatars of a different race, but a kind of appearance that in real life can only be compared to a circus "werewolf man," or the most extreme forms of body modification. Despite that such incidents seem to be rare, the result has been some residents being reluctant to go out into the wider grid, tending to stick around in places where there are other avatars like them, sometimes venturing out only after invited to by friends or if the location advertises itself as "furry friendly" or a similar term. On the other hand, there's no shortage of furs who don't particularly care if a few people have a problem with their appearance, and freely go about on the Grid. So you can pretty much find anthro avatars all over Second Life.

By all means the problem isn't just one way. I've heard of a few instances of furred avatars harassing human ones because of their appearance. The one of which I heard the most details was of a human DJ at a furry club getting insulted by one of the vulpines, calling her a "hairless ape." But the furred staff would have none of it. The offender was thrown out and banned for several weeks. Aside from a few nude beaches and a couple RP areas several years ago, humans are not going to have a problem going about sims that cater to furs. And as many furs prize individuality, I've seen contests at furry clubs in which the winner is the lone human who entered. Plus I've seen mixed couples on the dance floor, as well as an occasional mixed partnership between a human and fur (for some reason though, I've seldom seen human males in these pairings).

As for the issue of avatars and race, it was touched upon early in Second Life's history by Hamet Au when he was in the employ of Linden Lab, him describing an experiment by one normally blonde and fair-skinned lady when she went about in a black skin. The result was a few instances of racial slurs, and a few friends not contacting her for a while. So a few years ago, I decided to do an experiment of my own as part of a Relay for Life avatar challenge by going about as a black human for a while. The results were quite different from described by the girl in Hamlet's article. Only two people made an issue about it, and one was a real life coworker who follows the newsletter. In fact, there were a few people (all human) who asked me if I was going to keep it as my main appearance.

Over time, these articles have gotten a number of responses, some describing their own or a friend's ill treatment. One remarked it was his experience any avatar that stuck out from the rest of those in a sim, whether it was human, furry, or otherwise, was sooner or later going to run into trouble, often because of the fear of griefers.

It's been a while since I've heard details about someone getting thrown out of a place because of his or her avatar's appearance. Though as the retirement of America's first black President in real life has brought up questions about how widespread ethnic bias is, among both his opponents and supporters, it did make me think about the issue in Second Life again. How widespread the problem is, in both real life and Second Life, it seems to be a matter of opinion.

Bixyl Shuftan